So, I've mentioned before that I'm legally blind and suffer from BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and also that I'm a professional musician for a living. Anyway here's the problems I've been having lately:
I don't make much money to begin with: $100-$400 week ($200 on average) and my disability money is only a very small amount. The problem is: I work 6 days a week (seven this past week) but I don't get paid but every 2-3 weeks and thats only after I ask multiple times for it.
I do still live with my parents but I pay my own way (my pride won't let me do otherwise and my parents aren't that financially well off either.) Thing is, its very hard to make $200-300 last me 2-3 weeks. Food, drinks, bills, medications, guitar strings, rides to and from work ect ALL COST MONEY! I don't what to do.
My boss is a real good guy but he never has my money! I don't wan to sound greedy but I guy's gotta live. I mean if something happens to a piece of equipment I need for work, I'm screwed. Last week, a drunk guy stepped on and broke my main instrument cable. I've been borrowing a cheap and noisy one from a buddy because I don't have the $40 to replace mine with.
I have no trade besides music and while I'm very busy, I feel like I'm not being treated fairly. I like to think they respect me for my talent but I often wonder why I'm always the last one to get paid. Everyone else is a bit older and lives on their own and probably think I have it easy because I still live at home but I still have bills to pay and things to buy! Its quite depressing.
Why am I afraid of the future you may ask? Because, after my sister finishes college, she's moving out of state. My mother is having a harder time getting around due to her hips and legs and my dad has hep C and cirrhosis. Once they're gone, what happens to me? I keep having nightmares of being in assisted living somewhere and not being able to live me life.
Sorry to ramble, but you guys are the only people I can talk to. I have no real friends or family to talk to and I just feel like crying.