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Thread: First time caretaker

  1. #1

    Default First time caretaker

    I don't know if I'm posting this in the right forum, but I figure it'll be moved to the right place if I got it wrong.

    So, a few weeks ago, a close friend told me he was a DL and I told him I've had interest in being a caretaker. Long story short, he started to think about exploring his AB side and we decided that we're going to try this together. The only thing is, since I've never done this before in real life, I'm a little stuck on what we should do together (or rather, what I should provide to keep him busy). So far all we could come up with together was watching a movie and coloring. I also found some old wooden blocks that I was thinking of bringing. But I feel like there must be other things that I'm just not thinking of, not only for this time, but for in the future if this becomes a regular thing. Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions? And just so you know, we're limited to staying in his house and we only have until his dad gets back from work. Thanks in advance!

  2. #2
    ABDL4eva

    Default

    This is awesome. A caretaker. My fantasy caretaker is a large man
    (I am straight female). I desperately want to be wiped and changed into a fresh clean diaper by a football player. The height of masculinity making me feel safe and diapered. Bring the blocks, FOR Sure!
    I would also make a snack like boxed Mac and Cheese, the quintessential American child's snack food. Maybe feed him with a spoon or let him eat with his hands. THen wipe his face cean and put him down for a nap. Let him drink tons of apple juice from a bottle or sippie cup. Once he wakes up, change him gently carefully cleaning the area. powder him and on with a fresh diaper. I LOVE THIS!!!! Please post results, play by play...

  3. #3

    Default

    I would say you're fine to take it slowly. For most of us, the diaper change winds up being pretty central to the caregiving experience but it may take you both a little time to feel comfortable with it. Cuddles and bottle feeding may be easier early on. If you can get ahold of some Lego, those are good for open-ended play, and you can legitimately play along on his level as a grown-up caretaker.

    You two should be able to figure out what is most appealing to the two of you. At the moment, you're probably nervous of saying or doing the wrong thing. Really, most anything a babysitter or parent might do for a baby, is potential grist for the mill (feeding, bath times, naps, dressing, play, outings, teaching, discipline, etc.), but it's all about what you two find rewarding.

    You may find that before too long you're enjoying this for yourself and not just because your friend enjoys it. You might even want to give it a try yourself. The big brother model of caretaking seems pretty popular, i. e., a more mature "kid" who is mostly in charge but can still legitimately behave as a child at times. Whatever works.

  4. #4

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    As Trevor said, the diaper change is really the biggest activity. Bottle feeding is probably second, as it kinda helps make diaper changes necessary faster, drinking from a bottle is also really relaxing. You will want to try and think of things that are enjoyable triggers for him, maybe find out if he had any favorite shows growing up, and then watch those ones, or try and find a stuffed animal that comes from that show/movie, to give to him. Also, if he does have a little side, he will probably find some fascination with sucking on a pacifier, so you can also try buying the biggest one they have at the store, and then pop it in his mouth. I found unexpectedly, that things with rattles are a trigger for me, that make me feel even more little. You can try getting a teether toy with a rattle in it, and then shake it around at him and see if it grabs his interest, or tickle him with it. Aside from that, I think that coloring is a good idea, and you will have to get inventive for anything else, babies don't really do a lot, they are too busy developing motor and spacial skills.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Oh, try diapering him more thickly than he is used too, that might help too, it makes it harder to use the legs, and you feel like your diaper is more obvious as it would be on a baby, as apposed to the discrete design of adult diapers. You can try things like cutting holes in the the first diaper you are going to put on him, and then putting a second diaper on top of it so they both can absorb, which means longer time between diaper changes, but more waddling as the diaper gets wet, if it is one that expands much.

  5. #5
    noahVmiller

    Default

    I would agree, the diaper change is like the cornerstone of regression for me. The change ritual is such a natural scene starter. There's just something about laying there completely exposed, vulnerable, and helpless looking up into your mommy's or daddy's eyes as the feeling of unconditional love overwhelms your heart.

    I enjoy little space because, yes, it can be a sexual experience, BUT more so than anything else I enjoy littlespace because when I'm in little space I can let go and be myself. I regress for the sole purpose of feeling loved, and cared for because it's something I desperately crave in my own real life. When you form that connection with a mommy or daddy it's a bond that's unlike anything else. When both sides (the big and little) are comfortable enough with each other to give up 100% of themselves in the ABDL exchange - that's a truly powerful thing.

    It's one thing to find a girl or a boy and fall in love with them. It's another if they actually allow or accept your ABDL desires. But if you ever come across someone in your own real life who can "appreciate" you as a little than I truly believe you've been shot by cupid's arrow and you have the chance to share a love and bond so powerful it's unlike anything that's been written before in fairytales.

    I have a very optimistic outlook on relationships and love - yes I like to consider myself a hopeless romantic. The thing that bothers me about relationships is people tend to just throw it all away and never look back. To me, that's very very depressing, especially when you've spent the good part of several months maybe even years building up some sort of foundation - a solid foundation for the relationship you're growing to build on.

    Imagine if they got halfway through the Eiffel tower and decided to quit...that would make for a very depressing monument. While I can be quick to "run away" from my problems, I'm the last person to ever flush love down the drain. Ive delt with so much heartache and loss in my life I hate watching something like ABDL tear a relationship apart - like it's done so many times over and over again in my life. Hell, my own father repeatably reminded me growing up I would NEVER be able to find someone who accepted me for WHO I WAS. I think that's why I've always been the dude that gets broken up with. I have the heart that keeps getting bought at the store then returned and sold open box to another girl who takes it right back.

    I've come to learn that there is nothing more valuable, precious, or important in life than LOVE. I am happy for you that you've found someone you can share this unique aspect of your life with together. Ive been coming to this site for 5+ years and I've seen SO SO SO many similar posts about mommies finding their littles or vice versea. I can only keep hoping and praying that someday there's a mommy out there that is posting in a forum like this looking for a little like me.

  6. #6

    Default

    I was thinking about mac and cheese, but I think I want to ask him first what kinds of things he might like to eat. Plus we need to keep things simple. We can't leave any evidence behind for when his dad gets home. But I definitely like the idea of spoon feeding and cleaning.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
    I would say you're fine to take it slowly. For most of us, the diaper change winds up being pretty central to the caregiving experience but it may take you both a little time to feel comfortable with it. Cuddles and bottle feeding may be easier early on. If you can get ahold of some Lego, those are good for open-ended play, and you can legitimately play along on his level as a grown-up caretaker.

    You two should be able to figure out what is most appealing to the two of you. At the moment, you're probably nervous of saying or doing the wrong thing. Really, most anything a babysitter or parent might do for a baby, is potential grist for the mill (feeding, bath times, naps, dressing, play, outings, teaching, discipline, etc.), but it's all about what you two find rewarding.

    You may find that before too long you're enjoying this for yourself and not just because your friend enjoys it. You might even want to give it a try yourself. The big brother model of caretaking seems pretty popular, i. e., a more mature "kid" who is mostly in charge but can still legitimately behave as a child at times. Whatever works.
    I was thinking about legos but I can't seem to find any around my house and he doesn't have any I don't think. That would be something to invest in in the future, but right now we don't have that much disposable income between us to get things like that. Bath time sound pretty good too I'll have to ask him how he feels about that. I have wondered too, what it might be like on the baby side of things. The older sibling role might actually be appealing, but I have to do a little more soul searching on that.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I'll definitely ask him about childhood shows and everything. He said he's tried out a bottle and pacifier on his own and that both were soothing. I'll have to ask him if he thinks any other really infantile toys would help him regress. As for diapers, he has both medical ones and recently bought some specific for ABs with a cute little design on them so I'm assuming they're decently thick. But I guess we'll have to see.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by noahVmiller View Post
    I would agree, the diaper change is like the cornerstone of regression for me. The change ritual is such a natural scene starter. There's just something about laying there completely exposed, vulnerable, and helpless looking up into your mommy's or daddy's eyes as the feeling of unconditional love overwhelms your heart.

    I enjoy little space because, yes, it can be a sexual experience, BUT more so than anything else I enjoy littlespace because when I'm in little space I can let go and be myself. I regress for the sole purpose of feeling loved, and cared for because it's something I desperately crave in my own real life. When you form that connection with a mommy or daddy it's a bond that's unlike anything else. When both sides (the big and little) are comfortable enough with each other to give up 100% of themselves in the ABDL exchange - that's a truly powerful thing.

    It's one thing to find a girl or a boy and fall in love with them. It's another if they actually allow or accept your ABDL desires. But if you ever come across someone in your own real life who can "appreciate" you as a little than I truly believe you've been shot by cupid's arrow and you have the chance to share a love and bond so powerful it's unlike anything that's been written before in fairytales.

    I have a very optimistic outlook on relationships and love - yes I like to consider myself a hopeless romantic. The thing that bothers me about relationships is people tend to just throw it all away and never look back. To me, that's very very depressing, especially when you've spent the good part of several months maybe even years building up some sort of foundation - a solid foundation for the relationship you're growing to build on.

    Imagine if they got halfway through the Eiffel tower and decided to quit...that would make for a very depressing monument. While I can be quick to "run away" from my problems, I'm the last person to ever flush love down the drain. Ive delt with so much heartache and loss in my life I hate watching something like ABDL tear a relationship apart - like it's done so many times over and over again in my life. Hell, my own father repeatably reminded me growing up I would NEVER be able to find someone who accepted me for WHO I WAS. I think that's why I've always been the dude that gets broken up with. I have the heart that keeps getting bought at the store then returned and sold open box to another girl who takes it right back.

    I've come to learn that there is nothing more valuable, precious, or important in life than LOVE. I am happy for you that you've found someone you can share this unique aspect of your life with together. Ive been coming to this site for 5+ years and I've seen SO SO SO many similar posts about mommies finding their littles or vice versea. I can only keep hoping and praying that someday there's a mommy out there that is posting in a forum like this looking for a little like me.
    It's funny that you talk about love and everything. As it turns out, we actually dated at one point for almost a year and a half, but then had some issues and broke up about a year ago. But we stayed friends because we were already very close even before we dated, and it's only coming out now that we're both interested in the same thing. But I think it's a sort of hopeful story if you think about it. You just never know who could be the one who is the mommy you're looking for, even if they're not your significant other, so definitely don't give up hope.

  7. #7
    noahVmiller

    Default

    I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. If you both are into the same thing, and you have a history why not try and work things out?

  8. #8

    Default

    I'd suggest planning out the day in advance (but then be ready to abandon or adjust things as you do activities and some need to resonate). Start with things to get ready and get into the proper mindset, have a few playtime activities planned, then something to calm down, and cleanup time at the end. Here's just one example:

    You might start by checking with him to make sure that he has at least one big drink before you even come over. When you get there, you can change his clothes. Put him in a diaper and if he's got any other youthful clothes like t-shirts, overalls, or jammies, put him in those too. Talk to him while you're doing it, tell him how cute he is, whatever you're feeling.

    Then you could have a feeding where you give him a bottle, and follow that up with some active playtime. Maybe hide and seek in the house or playing pretend with his toys together.

    Then lunch (make sure you've checked on his diaper by this point). Do something fun during lunch, like feeding him, maybe airplane coming in for landing or something.

    For the afternoon, do something quiet. You can read a story together, maybe even put him down for a short nap if you have the time. Check his diaper again, make sure he's clean and dry.

    Then when that's done, it's cleanup time (put on some music) and at the very end, get him out of his diaper and back into big kid clothes (and a shower if needed) in prep for his Dad getting back.



    Quote Originally Posted by Tyger View Post
    - - - Updated - - -

    Oh, try diapering him more thickly than he is used too, that might help too, it makes it harder to use the legs, and you feel like your diaper is more obvious as it would be on a baby, as apposed to the discrete design of adult diapers. You can try things like cutting holes in the the first diaper you are going to put on him, and then putting a second diaper on top of it so they both can absorb, which means longer time between diaper changes, but more waddling as the diaper gets wet, if it is one that expands much.
    This is also good advice. Really thick diapers contribute a lot to the babyish feeling, especially if he's used to wearing diapers normally but would be surprised by the extra thickness.

  9. #9

    Default

    Does he by chance visit this website too? I heard another member tell a story similar to this, and it makes me wonder if they are connected. I think the other member mentioned ed that he was asexual.

  10. #10

    Default

    Ñow is this "caretaking" just in the ABDL fun play sense or is this an actual job? Because you may be ill prepared for the "employment" responsabilities versus the fun ones.

    I have been employing a caretaker for 10 years.they are making currently $ 12.65 per hour.they do not just care for me but rather me the dog and the house.

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