Control has a variety of connotations associated with it. Controlling yourself is just a matter of discipline (which requires practice and understanding) and therefore isn't negative, but when we talk about controlling other people, it does have that hint of 'slavery' as you mentioned. Now I'm hoping the comparison to slavery was just that: a comparison. If there is a controller in your life trying to 'enslave' you in some way, you've got some problems to look out for and acknowledge.
I really enjoy some of the teaching classes I take because some can be applied to the parenting in general, which in turns affects somebody's caregiving style. There was a class I took called Positive Discipline which was great about making a positive connotation with discipline. It was in the way you described it, a very nurturing form of love in which you want your child (or little, in our case) to do better for themselves as well as in the home. All good things in moderation.
If anyone's interested the book 'Positive Discipline' by Dr. Jane Nelson is a really great read in my opinion and can be used to help understand a child's mindset as well as understand how to better approach them to build trust. This in turn could help people better get into their regressed state if they sort of figure out how kids think, since we do lose a bit of the connection as we grow, and can help caregivers be the authority in the group, which is actually a comforting feeling to know somebody has a handle of things when they're looking out for you.