I need to come clean. I don't care who this annoys, or offends, but it is the truth. As an ABDL I struggle day to day with a "lack of control." I genuinely need and desire that upper hand to help me get through the day. The difference in what I am realizing now vs earlier in life is that control can be a very good thing. Growing up control meant slave because I received very little love. As I grew up however, I came to the realization that control can also come in the most nurturing form of love. It's a clear distinction....I don't desire control to become a SLAVE, I desire control to be a better person, and strngthen the bond of love.