I had a bit of a weird experience this week. I've been away at a function playing various board games and things. Anyhow, some friends had organised a big RPG in which you play children with imaginary monster friends but where the imaginary friends are actually real. You start off in primary school and end up battling various monsters to save the world etc. It's a pretty cool premise really. However, as an AB/DL with a very very introverted relationship to the "little" side of my personality, I found this pretty hard work. It was all done in a very live-action sort of way with the folks running the games session acting as teachers and whatnot. The end result is I basically freaked out and had to walk out of the situation. I think the last straw was when we had a "play time" outside and there were normal families outside while we were role-playing. Waaaay out of my comfort zone. Anyhow, I made my excuses and went and hid until the game was over. Later my mate asked me why i went away and - after a bit of thinking - I decided that I would tell him about the AB/DL thing. He was cool about it, that group of friends are pretty accepting and all. Nonetheless, It's been many maaaany years since I've spoken to a friend about being AB/DL. I came away from the situation feeling pretty rubbish. I know it doesn't matter and - quite honestly - I'm at a stage in my life where I don't ultimately care who knows about it (although he's mature enough that he wouldn't start blurting like a teenager). Still, it left me feeling pretty down. Sometimes I feel like being AB/DL is debilitating in ways you can neither expect nor understand. This should have been a really fun thing, instead i had a lousy day and for what? Why do I have to be weird about stuff like that? Pfff.
Anyhow, had to get that off my chest, thanks for listening!