Tug of War

Right now I feel like im in a tug of war with wanting to submit myself, but having no one to submit too. It's odd I want to submit so badly but my )ex) mommy broke up with me a few days ago. Now I just feel so little and helpless it's embarrassing to admit, but its the truth. I can't eat, fortunately I can sleep. My body just feels so worn out and I live at the beach. My room is a war zone. I feel so empty and alone. If anyone has kik I would love to talk: theorangelion

noahVmiller said:

Right now I feel like im in a tug of war with wanting to submit myself, but having no one to submit too. It's odd I want to submit so badly but my )ex) mommy broke up with me a few days ago. Now I just feel so little and helpless it's embarrassing to admit, but its the truth. I can't eat, fortunately I can sleep. My body just feels so worn out and I live at the beach. My room is a war zone. I feel so empty and alone. If anyone has kik I would love to talk: theorangelion

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It's obvious that you're suffering from two events that could be thought of as traumatic. It's bad enough to go through a breakup, but to suddenly have the uniqueness of a "little/mommy" relationship end as well could be emotionally devastating. Some may come on to this thread an suggest you find someone new and get back on the horse, but finding someone so unique is not easy at all.

Because of the double nature of this, I'm going to suggest that you remain aware of how you feel, how you are coping, and if you aren't, seeking professional counseling might be in order, because this is not the usual or normal breakup. The beach can be a wonderful place when you're sharing it with someone, and a very depressing place when you are alone.

If you have regular friends, now would be a good time to spend time with some of them. Being by yourself will be depressing. Try and stay busy, and participate in some sort of recreational activity, to beat the depression. Lastly, don't give up because there are other fish in the sea. You met this girl, so there are others, perhaps others who are more accepting. Anyway, I wish you well. Hang in there and let the passage of days work for you, not against you.

It seems like everyday I regress more and more. I'm at a point now where my head feels burnt out. I'd call this more or less a rock bottom but the difference is I am not a threat to myself or anyone else. I try my best to push through each day, it's just hard when I have such strong desires to act on my little desires.

I know their are other fish in the sea, but I would wait the rest of my life for my mommy. She truly is my first and last first kiss. She fills me up like no one else has ever in my life. When I'm around her I feel unconditional love, which is something I've never been able to say before about anyone else. She's amazing and I just wish I could talk to her with everyone going on in my life right now.