Hey, me again. I'll just cut to the Chase. If I ramble I apologize, It honestly feels like just when things are going good or somewhat okay, I ruin it with some thought about the world depressing me, or my brother, and or family, or studies that my college degree won't go anywhere, and I'll be in McDonald's or as a janitor, or something like that, for the rest of my life, or the news and whatever dumb decision the government makes, or the biblical rapture, and what comes after, and to be honest, I'm not 100% what causes this but it all kinda bubbles to the surface, and I have a lot of excessive anger, BECAUSE THE WORLD IS FALLING APART AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO STOP IT. Sorry I really had to get that all out, anyway it fells like, due to my past my subconscious feels I don't deserve to be happy, because I never really found myself in high school, my early life was a mess due to my mother and stepmother. Anyway it says that in the serenity prayer, for God to give me the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can change, and to give me wisdom to know the difference, but what if we don't like the things we can't change, and the things you can change you don't really want to and those feels like I'm just holding back so much anger, and resentment towards my childhood, and that I literally have no hope, due to my fun distractions that I look at during class gradually taken away from me, and I just get so massively board, but I have to take the classes I do to graduate, and I want to but my life is getting less and less control and I really don't know what to do, and other then other distractions like the news, and (admittingly) this site, although mabie I take your advice too literally, or misunderstand it, I really don't know. And it feels like on a very short leash and all I really wanted to do was move out when I reached 18, but that's gone, also I hear millennials are supposed to be brave and feel they can do anything, not me. And my grandma things it's a good thing that adult kids are moving back with their parents, NOT ME! Because I wanted to be on my own by 18. And I really can't stand that I'm almost 22, and still living with my grandma, and my brother, when I thought life would be completely different, and I literally don't like it. Sorry for ranting I just didn't know where to post this, and I can't really get over all of this, because I thought by now life would be different, or something like that. Also my grandma says one step at a time, but I want to rush, and do all of them at once, anyway I am at my last 2 semesters, which I have been in for 2 times, and I really want to graduate by next summer, and I want to get back to my lifestyle, but I fear I will sabotage it due to the aforementioned, and I don't know what to do.