Does anyone feel like it will never be enough?

Livingalone · Jun 23, 2015

Hi everybody,
After some thinking I decided that it is the right time to tell everybody a little about myself and ask some questions.
I am a male DL/AB. I have these feelings since I was probably like 10 years old and during a lot of time I thought I was the only one in the world. Then, Internet came and I found out that I was not alone after all. I got married without telling my wife this part of my life since I thought that marriage will help me to forget and I will be able to live a “normal “life. As you can imagine I was wrong and I separated after 15 years of marriage and 4 kids. Just for you to know, one of the main reasons that I separated was my lack of interest in intimacy.
I spent almost a year living with my brother, but with the help of my therapist, I was able to find an apartment for myself. So, I am actually living alone and use diapers every opportunity that I have (when I am alone at the apartment and while I am going shopping near my place). I would love to use 24/7 but I can’t because I have to work and have my kids frequently.
Nobody in the world knows this part of me, except of course my psychologist. She is very nice and supportive and has offered to buy diapers and helped me to make an onesie. What happen now is that I always want more; I thought that having my own space I will be able to cope with this feelings. But I was wrong again, it is not enough for me to use diapers 4 times a week, to use a pacifier, etc. It seems like this desire to be babied is getting stronger and it is really affecting my “adult” life, including my job. It is some kind of obsession and every time is getting bigger. I would like to have somebody to take care of me, change me, feed me, all the time!!!!. But I know this is impossible. I went to a shrink, and she gave me some pills that helped a little bit, but this is a situation that I cannot control.
So, does anybody fells like it will never be enough? Does anybody feel like it is impossible to be happy? How do you cope with that? Medication?
And also, how do you find the right person to trust?

Tyger · Jun 23, 2015

Wow, you have a really nice therapist to offer you that kind of help.

I sometimes feel like it isn't enough, also like I want somebody to take care of me, and that I wish I could be recognized as the baby I am, and walk around In a diaper and T-shirt so people can recognize how cute I am. That last part of course isn't likely to happen, but I think one day I might be able to find somebody who would enjoy being my caretaker.

Hoping for a person who can connect with your little side isn't unreasonable, but you are going to have to put yourself out into the dating world again. It might be a little bit different since you might find people who are looking for more intimacy than you are, but you might find some asexual partners that just want an Adult baby partner, it isn't actually that uncommon in the AB/DL world.

As for it affecting your adult life, I kind of get that sometimes too, but I guess I handle it a little bit differently. First of all, I'd suggest to you, that you make sure you have at least a scheduled amount of time a week that you know you can count on spending time as a baby, that way you know you are going to get some time for yourself. Secondly, it isn't horribly unreasonable to wear 24/7 (as long as you can afford it), I wear 24/7 even at work, which is at an Elementary school doing tech support, and so far, nobody has ever noticed, or at least commented. Wearing diapers under your clothes in public isn't taboo, it is just uncommon, but people understand what incontinence is, they don't know what AB/DL's are, but if you play it off as incontinence, nobody will ever assume anything different.

Being able to wear 24/7 i think helps calm down the child within, just because you know that you are taking care of the smaller side of yourself throughout the day. Sometimes it kinda reinforces the need to always be treated as a little, but I feel like it has helped me calm down my desire to have somebody always take care of me.

Have you ever talked to your therapist about this? About your concerns that it is getting too much into your adult life? One thing you need to be sure of, is don't shame yourself over this, there isn't anything wrong about wanting to be treated like a baby, you just have to make sure you know when to be adult so you can take care of your adult responsibilities.

Tetra · Jun 23, 2015

It would seem that your little desire is going to cause a crisis in your real life if you do not rein it in. At 26 you still need to prepare for a life and career and possable family responseability commitments. Being a AB/DL should always be secondary to your real life.

Wearing full time is no big deal its not illegal immoral or fattening and though you may enjoy it. It costs a lot of money a moderate diaper is going to cost you upwards of $ 300 per month ( moderate means an inexpensive diaper such as depend attends wings first quality etc..) a ABDL diaper fetish diaper will cost you more. Are you prepared to invest that kind of money into a little desire without consideration of the financial ramifications of our ever increasing reliance on credit.loans etc.. before you dive in head first prepare yourself. Do you at least 3 months of money to cover rent and living expenses saved should your job disappear? All the comfortable soft diapers in the world don't mean a thing if you are jobless or homeless. The "safety net" that FDR put into place has been being seriously eroded year after year by the politicians.it is not something that is going to bail you out should a catastrophic life event occur nor will it bail you out of ending on the street should you be evicted or lose your employment. This is not to discourage the happiness of your little but you really need to prepare the real you to deal with real life before you attempt making your little happy.

I had what seemed like everything when I was your age then exotic medical problems came into my life requiring me to give up everything to pay the bills of my doctors .end result I live on disability in government housing instead of putting 20 years or more on the job I found out 10 years ago I will be extremely lucky to live to 50. YMMV but that's reality.

required me to retire from the Fire service

luvsboy10 · Jun 23, 2015

I know exactly how you feel. I live on my own for a long time now, and I always want more. I want to experience every type of diaper out there, I built a baby room and always want to improve it some more. I bulit my own crib, bought baby furniture, stick baby stickers on the wall (walt disney, Poo etc...), bought baby carpets, and I wish someone wood take care of me. I Left my jobe a year ago, since then I work occasionally, and most of the free time is dedicated to being a baby. now I got in financial problems, and I barley see my friends.
I know it's bad, but I can't overcome it.
maybe I to need to seek help.

Trevor · Jun 23, 2015

I see it as pretty much the same as my other interests, although it has traditionally been sort of socially distancing, where now it is socially enabling for me. I could as easily have asked how much is enough in roleplaying games that obsessed me in my teens to late 20s or the MMOs that kept my attention after that. There are many possible temptations in the modern world that can lead one to ruin if taken to excess.

The "adult" in AB has to set appropriate boundaries so that the good times can keep on rolling. Right now, I'm indulging at a greater level than previously in my life, but I also feel like the payoffs are greater. I'm going to continue to fine tune that balance to determine my best estimate of what will maximize the positive and minimize the downsides. At this point, I'm doing things because I enjoy them. If that balance changed and I felt like I had to do certain things to keep an even keel, I'd be more concerned about myself, particularly if those things I desired were overly expensive or potentially harmful.

Livingalone · Jun 24, 2015

Tyger said:
Wow, you have a really nice therapist to offer you that kind of help.

I sometimes feel like it isn't enough, also like I want somebody to take care of me, and that I wish I could be recognized as the baby I am, and walk around In a diaper and T-shirt so people can recognize how cute I am. That last part of course isn't likely to happen, but I think one day I might be able to find somebody who would enjoy being my caretaker.

Hoping for a person who can connect with your little side isn't unreasonable, but you are going to have to put yourself out into the dating world again. It might be a little bit different since you might find people who are looking for more intimacy than you are, but you might find some asexual partners that just want an Adult baby partner, it isn't actually that uncommon in the AB/DL world.

As for it affecting your adult life, I kind of get that sometimes too, but I guess I handle it a little bit differently. First of all, I'd suggest to you, that you make sure you have at least a scheduled amount of time a week that you know you can count on spending time as a baby, that way you know you are going to get some time for yourself. Secondly, it isn't horribly unreasonable to wear 24/7 (as long as you can afford it), I wear 24/7 even at work, which is at an Elementary school doing tech support, and so far, nobody has ever noticed, or at least commented. Wearing diapers under your clothes in public isn't taboo, it is just uncommon, but people understand what incontinence is, they don't know what AB/DL's are, but if you play it off as incontinence, nobody will ever assume anything different.

Being able to wear 24/7 i think helps calm down the child within, just because you know that you are taking care of the smaller side of yourself throughout the day. Sometimes it kinda reinforces the need to always be treated as a little, but I feel like it has helped me calm down my desire to have somebody always take care of me.

Have you ever talked to your therapist about this? About your concerns that it is getting too much into your adult life? One thing you need to be sure of, is don't shame yourself over this, there isn't anything wrong about wanting to be treated like a baby, you just have to make sure you know when to be adult so you can take care of your adult responsibilities.

Thanks very much for your kind words. I agree that going 24/7 would not be a big deal in general, but I have kids and I want to keep them out of this. So, for now it is just a dream that I cannot fulfill.
My therapist is really very nice and she has been working very hard with my inner baby to help me cope with that situation. But, unfortunately, it is never enough. I guess my next step will be to visit a shrink and ask her what can I do. Pills that help calm my obsession will probably be the best solution. Thanks again

Tyger · Jun 24, 2015

Livingalone said:
Thanks very much for your kind words. I agree that going 24/7 would not be a big deal in general, but I have kids and I want to keep them out of this. So, for now it is just a dream that I cannot fulfill.
My therapist is really very nice and she has been working very hard with my inner baby to help me cope with that situation. But, unfortunately, it is never enough. I guess my next step will be to visit a shrink and ask her what can I do. Pills that help calm my obsession will probably be the best solution. Thanks again

Best of luck to you, yeah, Pills might help.

Livingalone · Jun 24, 2015

Tetra said:
It would seem that your little desire is going to cause a crisis in your real life if you do not rein it in. At 26 you still need to prepare for a life and career and possable family responseability commitments. Being a AB/DL should always be secondary to your real life.

Wearing full time is no big deal its not illegal immoral or fattening and though you may enjoy it. It costs a lot of money a moderate diaper is going to cost you upwards of $ 300 per month ( moderate means an inexpensive diaper such as depend attends wings first quality etc..) a ABDL diaper fetish diaper will cost you more. Are you prepared to invest that kind of money into a little desire without consideration of the financial ramifications of our ever increasing reliance on credit.loans etc.. before you dive in head first prepare yourself. Do you at least 3 months of money to cover rent and living expenses saved should your job disappear? All the comfortable soft diapers in the world don't mean a thing if you are jobless or homeless. The "safety net" that FDR put into place has been being seriously eroded year after year by the politicians.it is not something that is going to bail you out should a catastrophic life event occur nor will it bail you out of ending on the street should you be evicted or lose your employment. This is not to discourage the happiness of your little but you really need to prepare the real you to deal with real life before you attempt making your little happy.

I had what seemed like everything when I was your age then exotic medical problems came into my life requiring me to give up everything to pay the bills of my doctors .end result I live on disability in government housing instead of putting 20 years or more on the job I found out 10 years ago I will be extremely lucky to live to 50. YMMV but that's reality.

required me to retire from the Fire service

Hi Tetra,
I am sorry to hear about your medical problems and I hope you can find a solution. I mostly agree with everything you say. I know that this situation may ruin my life and I am trying very hard to find some appropriate balance. But it seems to be very difficult for me. I would say that my kids are the only ones that keep me in the right track. But I really need some help, as I said before I am considering seriously a stronger medication. Thanks

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luvsboy10 said:
I know exactly how you feel. I live on my own for a long time now, and I always want more. I want to experience every type of diaper out there, I built a baby room and always want to improve it some more. I bulit my own crib, bought baby furniture, stick baby stickers on the wall (walt disney, Poo etc...), bought baby carpets, and I wish someone wood take care of me. I Left my jobe a year ago, since then I work occasionally, and most of the free time is dedicated to being a baby. now I got in financial problems, and I barley see my friends.
I know it's bad, but I can't overcome it.
maybe I to need to seek help.

Well, it seems like you have somehow the same issue that I have: I do not have any friends, I am always desperately trying to find some time to put myself in diapers, etc. The next step for me will be to get medication and hope that will help me to overcome a little bit this obsession. Best

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Trevor said:
I see it as pretty much the same as my other interests, although it has traditionally been sort of socially distancing, where now it is socially enabling for me. I could as easily have asked how much is enough in roleplaying games that obsessed me in my teens to late 20s or the MMOs that kept my attention after that. There are many possible temptations in the modern world that can lead one to ruin if taken to excess.

The "adult" in AB has to set appropriate boundaries so that the good times can keep on rolling. Right now, I'm indulging at a greater level than previously in my life, but I also feel like the payoffs are greater. I'm going to continue to fine tune that balance to determine my best estimate of what will maximize the positive and minimize the downsides. At this point, I'm doing things because I enjoy them. If that balance changed and I felt like I had to do certain things to keep an even keel, I'd be more concerned about myself, particularly if those things I desired were overly expensive or potentially harmful.

I would say that to establish the appropriate boundaries of my AB life is my major problem. It would be great to have the strength to have this balance and this is what I am trying to achieve. Thanks for your answer.

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Tyger said:
Best of luck to you, yeah, Pills might help.

I forgot to mention that I agree that I need to start dating again. It is something that I am working on. I will let you know if I have some success.

Maria · Jun 24, 2015

Me. I just started yesterday and I already want to wear diapers all the time. I just need advise on what should I do with my next diaper today.:smile1:

DannyBBaby · Jun 24, 2015

I feel vary much the same way as you do, for me I find wearing cloth diaper 24/7 has helped me a lot. all though on some days when it really hot I question wearing them. Evan so some days can be harder then others, on bad days like that I just want to stay home. So I try and stick to a routine and as the day go on I can loose my self in my work are the task at hand.
so it not much, but for me it the daily routine that keep me going.