Hey everybody. I'm making this post because I recently came out to my girlfriend through a stream of rum induced tears. She says she wants to understand this fetish/lifestyle for me so I wanted to ask for some help. I want to know what being an infantilist, adult baby or diaper lover and everything in between means to you. Why do you like it? How important is it to you? And what could someone that loves you do to support you in relation to this?
I suppose both for everyone here that doesn't know me, which will probably be everyone as I'm not an active member, and for when she reads this, I should introduce myself. My name is (redacted). I'm now 21 years old. I joined this forum back in 2009 and I am for the most part a diaper lover but I do dabble in the adult baby side from time to time. My first experiences with diapers is from when I was very young, perhaps ten when a friend brought over diapers as a joke and I, out of curiosity decided to wear one. And I loved it. To this day I'm not 100% sure what it is about it that keeps drawing me back to them. As many others seem to feel, there is a large element of emotional security felt when I wear a nappy but there is also a large sexual element to it. Some of which comes from the dominant/submissive relationship that's found in a lot of the pornography and stories but I do enjoy wearing around people and knowing that it's your own secret.
But naturally AB/DLism does have it's down sides. I carry a lot of baggage with me. I have a tendency to recall many insignificant things that I'm ashamed or embarrassed about and they crop up in my mind frequently and make me extremely anxious. And much like this I often get feelings of shame when I think about being an infantilist and it gives my confidence quite a shock. I have hated myself in the past for my feelings and I sometimes still do but often I just think of infantilism as my curse. It's something I carry with me, I hate it and I love it, it makes me sad and it makes me happy. But if I had a choice I would be rid of it.
Sorry about the lengthy post. I thought this might act as something of an introduction as well as seeking advice
So please let me know what you think a significant other needs to know about infantilism. Why is it important to you? Do you feel the same way I do or is your experience different? I'm sure any and all insight will be useful.