Hi, I don't post too often, but I've been having some feelings about my relationship with my girlfriend that I could use some other opinions on. So we started dating roughly 5 months ago around the beginning of the new semester.
We were friends for about a month before that. I had told her about my DL side when we were friends. And we talked a lot about things. I had never dared before her and thought I would always end up alone. One night we were hanging out and we kissed and that's how it all began. I was hesitant to date her at first because I had a huge crush on this other girl for a while before her. And I wasn't too attracted to her nj the beginning.
I decided to give her a chance and in the beginning I was unsure about how I felt. She told me she loved me and I waited until I felt like I loved her too to say it. For a while things were great. We spent a lot of our time together. Sometimes I felt like I didn't get enough time to myself, but it wasn't too bad. We both loved each other a lot.
Then summer came and we were spending less time together, but she isn't too far away so we see each other a lot. Lately I've been doubting how I truly feel. I love her a lot, but I just don't feel like our relationship will last/work, it's just this thought in the back of my mind sometimes. Maybe I still have some feelings for that old crush. My girlfriend wouldn't let me hangout with her or my other friends in the beginning of our relationship because she was jealous of the other girl, but now she is kinda friends with my friends, she still doesn't like the crush though. We both like eachother's family too. I also feel like I may have lost a little bit of who I am in our relationship. Like I have less time to myself and idk I feel I've lost some freedoms. Another concern is if I've only been with her because she has been so accepting of the DL side of me, but I don't think that is true. Our sex life is good. She has a dark past so it can be tough and emotional to do things with her and she can get hurt and push me away, and when she pushes me away she really wants me to stay, so that can be confusing and stressful and hurt me. But she accepts me and likes the whole diapers thing. We haven't had sex yet because I just don't feel ready.
I care a lot about her, I just don't want to hurt her. And I don't want to make a mistake. I know I'm really the only one who can answer how I feel. But I guess I'm looking for anyone else's input on my situation. Sorry this may be a little long.