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Thread: So I Need Some Advice... MOVING TO BLOG

  1. #1

    Arrow So I Need Some Advice... MOVING TO BLOG

    Hello from a long-time lurker and first time poster. I've decided to post here because I know everyone here is very open and helpful when it comes to us newbies so I figured this would be the place to ask my questions. Firstly I think it's important to know that while my profile says "diaper lover" and "adult baby" I'm much more on the diaper lover side of things for the time being. The main reason for that is because I live at home and only have limited times that I am able to indulge in these activities. Another reason is just because there isn't anyone to fulfill the second role of the baby-adult pair.

    Now for the actual reason I came here. Just last night, in the company of three of my closest friends, I told the only people that know about my kink that I enjoy this sort of thing. They were all accepting and didn't judge me (they're great like that) and we were all open enough to discuss each other's in one big revealing binge of sorts. Long story short I found that one of my other best friends has a daddy/mommy power exchange fetish with them being on either end of the relationship but even though she didn't outright say it I think she is much more of the dominating type than the submitting type. She told us this before I revealed my fetish.

    I received a text this morning asking if we could talk so I said sure but she then told me she wanted to speak in person. Right now I'm set to speak with her on Tuesday and I think I know what it's going to be about (big surprise right?). The reason I'm discussing all of this is because while it may be a huge fantasy for most ABDL's (as it is for me) I'm very anxious to actually take the step from fantasy to reality if that's what she wants of me. She is one of my best friends in the world and I trust her with all my heart but there are some other complications that make the decision less clear and much more weighted.

    The main issue that I see is the fact that she's my ex. We dated for about 15 months, the days of which I would never trade for the world. The reason we broke up (which happened about a year ago now) is because she was very interested in continuing the relationship in a sexual matter and I had just come to the realization that I was asexual. I broke it up because I didn't want to hold her back from finding true happiness with someone else that would be able to give her what she wants.

    Now I have to immediately say that under no circumstances am I planning to rekindle that relationship. That aside I also see no problem with having a mommy-baby interaction with her that is outside of an actual lover's relationship. If this is what she plans on suggesting then I will only ever even think of accepting if she knows that our time as girlfriend-boyfriend ended a year ago.

    Here's were I speak my own mind (finally). While I do think the idea is exciting and definitely a huge opportunity for me to act out on my desires I'm very apprehensive about the whole thing. I'm still beyond embarrassed about myself, as I'm sure many of you were/are too, and because of that I find the potential mommy to be both an exhilarating possibility and a taboo proposal . I've come to ask advice from the people here who have been in similar situations or just those who feel that they would be able to advise me in general. Any suggestions or anecdotes or even just words of calming are appreciated and I can't thank those of you who took the time to read this enough.
    Last edited by Undisclosed; 24-Jun-2015 at 16:56.

  2. #2


    First of all, welcome to ADISC. As you say we are here to help each other and there's some pretty good advice givers here.

    Second, although you're probably right, maybe she doesn't want to talk about the whole baby/mommy relationship? Maybe something else is on her mind.

    But you probably are right. With that said, it is a sticky situation her being your ex and all. You said she wanted sex and you don't. That's fine. You told the truth. Maybe she wants to just be the mommy with no sex? It's an opportunity for her with someone she knows and trusts. That would be cool, right?

    Then, my next thought is she might still want to have sex and maybe she will try to open the door a crack by starting off in a mommy/baby relationship and try to expand from there. Hard to say what a woman has up her sleeve.

    Well, anyway, talk to her and be honest. I think the decision to have any kind of relationship with her is yours. My advice is if she wants to be your mommy, do it, but make sure you tell her that's all you want.

    Welcome aboard and keep us posted. We care.

  3. #3


    Thanks for the advice =) Just thinking about saying yes, even if it is most definitely the right move to make, is getting my heart racing. I think I want to say yes if it could work out the way I hope it would but part of me wants me to say no simply because I'm nervous about it. It would be a great experience and it would be very good for determining were I actually do lie on the ABDL spectrum. I think the main question I have to ask others that have experienced similar relationships is if the enjoyment outweighs the embarrassment and apprehensiveness (at least that which exists at the beginning).

    I will definitely keep everyone posted and like I said before, any advice is greatly appreciated both before and after the fact.
    Last edited by Undisclosed; 22-Jun-2015 at 00:14.

  4. #4


    If you do say yes, I would say to go slow at first. Maybe just an activity or two at first and maybe just for an hour or two. That might lessen your apprehension and embarrassment. Relax and have fun!

  5. #5


    That sounds like a smart idea to me. The only issues that I think I would have with relaxing and just letting it happen is that I always have this fear that it's the only part of me people will think of when they see me. I know it's an illogical fear to believe that people (especially those I trust) would only ever see this one part of me but I think it's my biggest.

  6. #6


    I'm agreeing with everything zipperless has said. Yes, be honest and candid as to how you feel and your expectations, especially if those expectations exclude any sort of sexual activity. My other thought was exactly like zipperless's, to go slowly, maybe doing a few, smaller things at first.

    I will say this, that my wife was not aware of my "baby" side until many years into our marriage. She was very accepting and I started slowly, like wearing a diaper to bed. Over the years, I'm now a lot more open as I might act like a baby, etc. Likewise, she will recognize me as her baby, etc. For me, it's been a wonderful, rewarding feeling, being able to regress to a deeper level.

    I think you should give it a try, but take it at a pace where you are comfortable with it. It does feel weird at first, and you do have to have a lot of trust in the other person. That's something you should talk about first.

  7. #7


    Thanks for the advice and perspective. After reading what you two have said I definitely feel more confident in following what my emotions telling me. Thanks also for reinforcing in my own mind that I need to express my own personal boundaries and expectations before even considering giving it the go-ahead. I still have almost two days to mull it over so having this help early on is great.

    I'm glad to hear (for lack of a better way of putting it) that it does feel weird at first and that it takes time and easing into it. I wasn't sure if that was me subconsciously fighting against it but now I know that it isn't.

  8. #8


    So I hate to double post but I think it's better than starting a while new thread for a pretty similar question. After sleeping on it last night there's one huge question that I just can't think of the answer to by myself. Where do we start?

    It isn't that I don't have a desired pace but the truth of it is that I just don't know how to begin. She tended to want to move a bit faster than me in our relationship (which may have just been the high versus non-existent sex drive) so I would rather go into this with some thoughts as to how I would want to start it off. The only problem with that is I lack experience; I don't really know where what would be a good activity to test the waters and start to get us both used to the idea of the relationship.

    Thanks again for all the advice you awesome people have given me so far!

  9. #9


    Oh no... a triple post... I really do feel that's it's neccesary because I have a major update. I just found out from one of the other friends (I did not prompt it) that this is what she wants to discuss (at least partially or it was the catalyst for something else). My heart is freaking out and I don't know what to feel so with less than 24 hours left before I speak with her I wanted to make sure I could get any last-minute advice on the matter.

    Thanks everyone =)

  10. #10


    Well I think that sounds like a really fun opportunity as long as the other person she is in a relationship with is ok with it. Since you didn't state that you don't want to try it out, and the way you are talking, you obviously want to give this all a try to some extent.

    Just take the time to hear out what she wants to do with you, what kind of activities you want to try out, and then make sure she understands what you feel comfortable with trying out at first, and what other things you are afraid of trying out too quickly, but might be curious about. Anything that you know is a no no, like sex, just let her know ahead of time that it just isn't going to happen, so you know that neither of you are wasting each other's time with each other.

    You will be fine, maybe go with a list in your pocket of things that you would be interested in trying out, and when she starts to talk it out with you, you can say, "I kinda thought this might be the topic of discussion, and I was nervous about it all because I want to try it out, but I have never been able to try out something like this before, I wrote down a few things I think would be fun to do though."

    Just be honest about it all.

    You won't be viewed as always being a baby, not unless you want too. I have friends that know about my little side, but they only tease me about it a little bit, most of the time I am another adult. If you start to act babyish around her, then she will treat you like a baby, if you start to act adult, she will probably notice that it isn't the time, and every once in a while she will probably try to push you into a baby mode if she wants somebody to nurture, or notices you probably need some baby time because you are tense.

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