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Thread: Struggles

  1. #1

    Default Struggles

    Hello I'm new to this site and I'm here because my fiance who I love with all my heart is an ABDL and I'm trying to understand, and accept his Why and how. I guess Im here hoping to get help with this. I don't think I will ever understand the why, but I know he has told me it has to do with stress relief. I guess I'm stuck on the how's... how can he be into all this? How did it all start? How can I be more accepting and more of what he needs? Having been with him for a little over a year I have come to love him more than any other man even the fathers of my 2 sons. Thats one of the things that makes this so hard my sons they love my fiance but they do not know this life and I don't want them to as they are only 3 & 7 .
    My fiance wants to be diapered 24/7 which I'm OK with, he wants me to change him which I'm trying I don't like the spells but if I could find ways to avoid that I think I will be find.
    I don't want to lose my husband part of him I think that's what I fear most!!!!
    As he is now talking about taking the AB part to the next level he wants to be treated like a baby and with 2 sons to raise I see this as a struggle how can I give my man some of the life he fantasizes without exposure to my children??

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyJenkins15 View Post
    Hello I'm new to this site and I'm here because my fiance who I love with all my heart is an ABDL and I'm trying to understand, and accept his Why and how. I guess Im here hoping to get help with this. I don't think I will ever understand the why, but I know he has told me it has to do with stress relief. I guess I'm stuck on the how's... how can he be into all this? How did it all start? How can I be more accepting and more of what he needs? Having been with him for a little over a year I have come to love him more than any other man even the fathers of my 2 sons. Thats one of the things that makes this so hard my sons they love my fiance but they do not know this life and I don't want them to as they are only 3 & 7 .
    My fiance wants to be diapered 24/7 which I'm OK with, he wants me to change him which I'm trying I don't like the spells but if I could find ways to avoid that I think I will be find.
    I don't want to lose my husband part of him I think that's what I fear most!!!!
    As he is now talking about taking the AB part to the next level he wants to be treated like a baby and with 2 sons to raise I see this as a struggle how can I give my man some of the life he fantasizes without exposure to my children??
    Hello AlyJenkins15 and welcome to the group.

    This is a very interesting introduction.

    First I would suggest that you find and watch "Baby Mitchy- Understanding ABDL" on you tube. Then go through and read several of the threads in AB/little and diaper talk forums. There is several that cover this subject.

    Second Communication.
    This is the most important part of any relationship.
    The communication needs to be in both direction, including active listening. Then there needs to be an understanding and boundaries that are set and followed.

    Both of you need to be flexible and understanding.
    Yes he has his desires, but you have your level of comfort.

    My wife and I have an understanding and there is parts that she is uncomfortable with and we talked about things and respect the boundaries that have been set.

    The major rule that we both agreed with without a lot of discussion was never in front of the kids.

    As for the why again I would suggest that you google Bitter Grays infantilism.com site. There is a lot of good information there.

    The How is different for each of us and it just happens for so many reasons.

    Again welcome to the group, and kudos to you for reaching out for help.
    I hope I have given you enough information to start on the journey of understanding.

    Egor

  3. #3

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    Hi AlyJenkins15.

    Welcome to ADISC. With just a little bit of looking around, and using the ' Search ' tool, I am sure that you will be able to find vast amounts of information to help you. You are certainly not the first ' significant other ' / Husband / Wife that has come here with the same concerns and questions you now have.

    Once, it was very rare to have a member like yourself visit us, but I have noticed quite a few new members show up, lately, with the same worries and concerns you are dealing with. Don't be afraid to ask questions, you are among friends here. As a community, we will try to help you all that we can.

    Best wishes.

  4. #4

    Post Alyjenkins here

    Hey everyone my name is Aly Jenkins I am on this site because my fiance is a ABDL I'm here to get advice and learn the life so I can stay happy in my relationship because I do not want to lose him. We have been together alittle over a year now he loves me and my 2 sons more than any man has (even their fathers) and my sons are attached (they are 3 & 7).
    I have no problem with my fiance way of life, I accept it! I just don't know how it's gonna work I don't want it exposed to my sons.
    I first found out about this fetish of his a month or 2 after we started dating I was sick to my stomach thought there was something wrong with him wanted out of the relationship and as far away from him as possible... be he loves me so deeply, I cheated on him and he followed me he stood up for what he wanted that being me and the boys. Thats when he won my heart, that's when I thought I need this man in my life til the end and I need to try to accept and understand his life so we can combined the two.
    What my fiance craves with his fretish -- to wear diapers 24/7 i have no problem with that! He also wants me to be the one to check him and change him. I can do occasionally I am not comfortable with it yet but I do it because he is my baby my man my everything.
    What is bugging me Is now he wants to go deeper-- he wants to be treated like a baby I don't feel comfortable with it and I don't know if I will but I don't want to ever lose him so I'm here for your advice thank you for your time

  5. #5

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    Welcome to ADISC!

    I read your other threads that asked specific questions that your introduction brings up, so I won't comment on them here.

    I will simply say that you have come to the right place and I wish you and your SO have a fantastic life together.

  6. #6

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    I think the biggest thing you need is to remember is no matter how strange something may be to you wearing diapers or being little is a whole lot better than him injecting heroin. Gambling away the rent money or any of those risky illegal or immoral acts that are an addiction.



    Diapers a legal in all States and countries and are a really harmless form of "emotional support" and there are people out here in this community that have to wear due to medical conditions and we all support each other. Also as is being seen currently by the ageing of America diapers are not just for babies. Many generations have grown up being taught big boys and girls wear underware-there are millions of people with dementia and Also in nursing homes who have no urinary or bowel function or even remember who they or family members are but will do anything under the sun to get the diaper off because of those words having been burned into there heads. I am a 46 year old disabled incontinent man who looks to diaper lover's and adult babies to teach me to cope with a disability.

    I was in intensive care last year and begged the nursed to just leave the indwelling catheter in place to save them from having all the extra work of changing diapers cleaning me or having to change the bed. The nurses said it was all part of the job to which I said maybe for someone twice my age but I am pathetic-they said its a medical condition and not to worry. I still worried. So please stay and learn everything you can about hubbys interests and know that we all are human and flawed but wanting to wear diapers is really harmless in the scheme of things. I will now stern down from my long winded soapboxed.

  7. #7

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    Thank u very much everyone for welcoming me into the community and for all the good advice u have given me it has helped a lot : ) I believe this site will help me and my baby hubby grow stronger

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyJenkins15 View Post
    Thank u very much everyone for welcoming me into the community and for all the good advice u have given me it has helped a lot : ) I believe this site will help me and my baby hubby grow stronger
    I want to add they you are being very reasonable with your concerns. My opinion is that your fiance/soon to be husband, should not wear in front of your children. There's a time and place for all things. With a lot of caution and stealth, he should be able to express his need and desire for diapers, balancing that against how comfortable you are with this. There has to be a meeting of the minds. We've had a number of spouses come to this site with your concerns and in many of those cases, the husbands/boyfriends often seem to be overboard with their desires and what they want from their spouse.

    There needs to be a lot of conversation between the two of you, and he needs to be aware of what you're comfortable with, and what you're not. Most all of us on this site are into wearing diapers, so we might tend to trivialize wearing and enjoying diapers, but for someone who has suddenly become aware of this small segment of society, it can be quite a shock. I admire how far you've come and that you've reached out to this site. I think that over time, you may realize that this is just a quirk, a very odd one, to be sure, but not the end of the world. The bodily function of it all is weird, but it is manageable and you can still keep your sanity.

    In life, we sometimes have to adjust and adapt to many things. My wife is diabetic. In the last ten years, I have learned to run a kidney dialysis machine in our home. We do home dialysis, so I get her on the machine, and it runs while she sleeps. This past year, she had her right leg below the knee, amputated. I help her get dressed in the morning, deal with the commode, and help her with other things. This is what having a relationship with someone you love, is all about. Haha...no wonder she supports me in my love for diapers and acting babyish. It's like the old song, you have to give a little, take a little. It all works out in the end if you love each other.

  9. #9

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    Once again thank u today I have diapered my love twice and he has a heat rash on his thighs so I put diaper rash cream and baby powder we agreed not to go into the AB part and I agreed to work on the diapering 24/7

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by AlyJenkins15 View Post
    Heit llo I'm new to this site and I'm here because my fiance who I love with all my heart is an ABDL and I'm trying to understand, and accept his Why and how. I guess Im here hoping to get help with this. I don't think I will ever understand the why, but I know he has told me it has to do with stress relief. I guess I'm stuck on the how's... how can he be into all this? How did it all start? How can I be more accepting and more of what he needs? Having been with him for a little over a year I have come to love him more than any other man even the fathers of my 2 sons. Thats one of the things that makes this so hard my sons they love my fiance but they do not know this life and I don't want them to as they are only 3 & 7 .
    My fiance wants to be diapered 24/7 which I'm OK with, he wants me to change him which I'm trying I don't like the spells but if I could find ways to avoid that I think I will be find.
    I don't want to lose my husband part of him I think that's what I fear most!!!!
    As he is now talking about taking the AB part to the next level he wants to be treated like a baby and with 2 sons to raise I see this as a struggle how can I give my man some of the life he fantasizes without exposure to my children??
    welcome to a ADISC .
    There's a book you need to read the title is there's a baby in my bed by Rosalie Bent.
    It will tell a lot that can help you both fine balance.

    An AB/DL needs to find balance we some of us can very easy want baby time all the time.
    If we can balance our adult self with our little with an understanding wife we can havd a good life.
    There needs to be boundary on both sides that way the wife or partner does not get overwhelmed.
    because in a partnership that is a two way street given take and sharing is most important.
    You need to be able to communicate your feelings as much as he communicates his that way you can come do a good compromise.
    he sometimes has a AB/DL else can be a little selfish .
    That's because from what we are little's and are like kids and kids can be very selfish but we have to realize is that you have wants and needs also and to be fair that your want's and needs are met too.
    It's only through talking these type of things out that we can understand when we were going a little overboard.

    Now let's talk about comfort and in being an ABDL.
    I don't know his background or what caused him to be an ABDL cuz we all come into this differently.
    It's like different shades of grey we all pretty much do somewhat the same thing but there different shades of grey.
    now now in my case I had trouble keeping my pants dry when I was a kid so one day I was put back into pampers and that caused me to get hooked on this at 7.
    Not all of us came into this that way but somehow we all come in do it differently or slight variations of how we come into it. my childhood was harsh and it was hard going through lot of things happed
    the happiest time in my life was when I was I'll probably when I was a baby and a toddler or a very young child . You have to realize that the body I believe the body remembers even if we don't consciously remember.
    So when I was put into diapers it triggered a feeling it felt so good like a lost memory.
    From that time on I wanted to be a baby to be loved and held and it triggered that within me.
    for some of that we never wanted to give up our diapers we have some of those here too.
    they do feel good to a guy's
    It only took that one time to hook me but when I feel down or unhappy I went to my happy place is being my little.so when I'm in my little mode I can't be hurt and nobody can hurt me you know and I can be the carefree me that I am . Because I'm very kind hearted and would never hurt anybody.
    So I get comfort and it helps me cope with all the cruelty that I've had to go through.
    So please get that book it will help you a lot with your questions.
    All the best to you and husband

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