So I am in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). I have borderline personality disorder, avoidant personality disorder and traits of Dependent personality disorder. I also potentially have complex PTSD - remains to be seen.
Anyways, I had a session this week with my individual therapist and I was struggling with trusting her - so I requested that she have a blanket in her session... She supplied a frog blanket. I also wore diapers and I covered myself up with the blanket and felt safe inside the session. It was very interesting being able to do this in the company of someone else. It was very satisfying for me to show this intimate side of me... And she talked to me like a child which made it all the more comforting! I think I have found a way to connect with this therapist and get over trust issues.
I told her that I feel like a child most times. I brought up the diapers and she went along with it and allowed us to talk more about it. She referred to me as a little and said that it happens often with Borderline patients... I was very interested in this topic. She described it as having an inner child (also called a little) who is inside of me that was frozen in time and has unmet needs. She said that we will work together to co-parent the inner child little - and we would move forward together one step at a time.
She said to try and talk to the little as though I am his parent. I am an adult - so this is a very interesting way of looking at things... She asked that I try to listen to the little and figure out what he wants. To list the unmet needs so we can work on meeting them... She specifically mentioned to write down when the little wants to be cuddled, when the little wants to be diapered... I cannot describe the emotion that I felt when she said this - but the tone of her voice was VERY soothing to me... I miss her already. I really like her. I hope to continue working through this stuff with her. I just wish she would cuddle me or wrap me in a blanket... I hope she does this - I already asked for her to do it... The trouble is - in DBT - one of the things they are trying to get me to do is learn to comfort myself without the need of others... I use diapers as a means of comforting myself but it cannot always be used...
Unfortunately for me, I have borderline personality disorder - so that means that I will inevitably become VERY attached to her and I can already feel it happening... I am concerned about when this DBT program ends... I may not want to say goodbye.
Anyone experience therapy like this? I am very interested in hearing people's story about being a little.