Actually that isn't what I meant, but I think it gets used in that context too quite a lot. Here on Adisc, a lot of people say they binge and purge by buying a lot of diapers, using some of them, and then throwing them away out of shame, and a lot of other of their babyish things get tossed. I hope you are able to get some good support for your eating disorder though, do you ever find that feeling like a baby helps you calm your disorder?
Yeah, my parents were pretty much hard core Christians too, of a kind anyway. They were like yours, in respects to gender identity and sexual behaviors. Some reason I got it worked into my head that wearing diapers was abominable before God, but I was never really able to work that one out right.
I mean, first of all, the bible says nothing about wearing diapers or wanting to feel like a baby, or even young. The only verse that says anything to the effect is 1 Corinthians 13:11, but you have to remember that the verses previous to it has important context, so, 1 Corinthians 13:8-11, The context is on charity, and how it never fails, and that we must eventually grow up and become charitable. Basically, children are known for sometimes being selfish and wanting to fun stuff all of the time, or "this is my toy". Eventually you need to grow up and think about others too, and give up some of your wealth and time to others. Basically, verse 11 has nothing to do with putting away childish objects, but things as in 'selfishness, complaint, and anything non-charitable'. Conclusion, that verse does not say we can't feel like babies.
In fact, the bible kind of implies that we should be more like little children. Matthew 18:2 The context still doesn't mean that everybody needs to feel like a baby and wear diapers to get into heaven, but I do feel like being an Adult Baby helps obtain some of the traits Jesus was looking for. Unconditional love (when you feel the love that somebody shows to you by accepting your weird diaper quirk, it is easier to show love to others who do or have weird or irritating things), simple happiness ( I feel like getting into a little state makes it easier to feel happy over the little things, even if there are big things that make me want to be sad), submissiveness to the lord (being an Adult baby and if you are lucky enough to find somebody to take care of you some times, helps you to see what it is like to put complete trust in others, like you would have had to when you were an actual baby). I think there are probably some other great examples, but in all reality, I'm kinda taking that verse out of context.
On the more sexual side of things, I don't recall anywhere in the bible that directly condones masturbation, so if you use your diapers for that, I don't see why that is wrong.
Because of some other reasons in my life, I have kinda become Agnostic/Atheist, but I still went through the huge battle you are probably going through, of trying to figure out if God really cares about you acting on your babyish desires, and I eventually came to the conclusion that it wasn't anything bad. The best you can do with respect to your religious devotions though, is to study other views, the scriptures, and in your mind, and then pray about it. If you go to your religious leaders, I guarantee that half of them will say nothing is wrong with it, and the other half will say something is wrong with it, but have no good reasons, they just think it is weird and weird things don't work. I would highly suggest not talking to your parents about it, the majority of people on here that have talked to parents, got burned bad. The main reason why, in my opinion, is because parents start to panic and wonder if they raised their child wrong and think that your lifestyle is a reflection of bad parenting, so they go nuts. This isn't always the case though, and really is up to you and your needs, and how you think they would react based on other interactions (I'd say if they are homophobic though, then they probably will freak out, It just matches the profile I think).
I guess that particular issue of your parents finding out is what is largely stressing you out, and what I just said probably isn't much support, but really, if they are anything like my parents (who were kind of mild when I told them) the result of telling them, just wasn't worth it. There are ways of keeping it private to yourself. You can send online diaper purchases to PO boxes sometimes, or at least to a fedex or UPS office for a $5 holding charge, and then possibly store them in your car trunk if you have one available that is privately yours, or other places work too. Keeping secrets from parents is kind of a hard thing to do, and kind of makes you feel guilty, but the truth of it is, you have a private life, and if you can see it as not being harmful to anybody, and not being distasteful to God, then until you see a reason that it breaks one of those two criteria, then you don't actually have a legitimate reason that your parents should know about something that is private and delicate to you. If they find out, and present a reason why you should have told them that appears legitimate, then you can honestly tell them, that you were not aware of that concern, and that is why you didn't think it was necessary to tell them.
What I would suggest, if you are feeling alone in your real life and afraid of others finding out, is finding a really trusted close friend, and working your way into telling that friend about your AB/DL side, probably slowly to test the ground. It can be helpful to have real life support, but not always necessary for all AB/DL's.
Otherwise, you will probably find a lot of good support In this particular group forum,
https://www.adisc.org/forum/group.php?groupid=327 for christian AB/DL's if you are interested more into that particular topic. As well, you are going to certainly find a lot of help here, and you are welcome to private message me when you get the user rights if you would like.
