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Thread: Relationship problems

  1. #1

    Default Relationship problems

    Hello everyone,

    i am in a very hard moment in my life and hope to find some help or advice here. My girlfriend found out about my still existing abdl side a few weeks ago and since then everything is pretty bad between us. She started playing computer games with other men online most of her free time and refuse to spend any time with me. I tried a few times to get her involved in even watching a film together at the tv , but she always denied it. Since then we are more likely living parallel to each other.

    I told her at the very start of our relationship that i have this abdl side in me and she didnt took it very well but after some time seemed ok with it. But after she found out 3 weeks ago that i still have the urge to sometime wear a diaper (which happens rarly) she really freaked out and told me to go to a doctor with it and that it is sick and disgusting. I tried to tell her about my really messed up childhood and the source of why i have it in me, but she didnt want to hear anything about it. It was really tough for me but she told me that she wasnt able to support me, because she is so disgusted of me and the diaper thing. I never asked her to participate in any activities and tried to keep our daily life free from it.

    Since she found out i got my university degree and a nice job, but was not able to celebrate any of. So basically im struggeling at the moment to break up with her, even though i really love her and had a good time with her the last 3 years. But i really dont know what to do right now. I told her that i am willing to get help with my adbl side and was active the last weeks searching for a doc to help, but she is neither supporting me with it nor wants to hear anything about it.
    Its like she is trying to ride it out and wait until it passes by and im back to functioning "normally" again.

    I really dont know what her intentions are here. She cant afford a appartment on her own, because she doesnt earn any money. I took her into my life 3 years ago and she had nothing. So if i would break up with her now, she would have to go back to her father into a small room where she doesnt even has a bed or anything else.

    I really hate myself for having all these problems in my life, coming from a childhood with no love or respect for each other. She knows about all of it but rather seems to blank it out most of the time.

    Phew, all of that is very hard for me to write down here. I hope this is the right place to find someone who was in a comparable situation and could give me a advice on what to do here or tell me what they did.

    I am really counting on your help here. Maybe just to direct me to a different place or a generall life tip. Sorry for my english , i really tried my best.
    Last edited by kammron; 16-Jun-2015 at 12:13.

  2. #2


    Ok first of all stop blaming your self you are the way you are as we all are we may come into being AB/DL's defrently we are ok persons.

    Two what if you were a bedwetter and had no choice would she be treating that bad I would hope not.
    Or in a accident how bad would she drop you.
    Yes my childhood was bad it's how I cope with stress as with you .
    It hurts no one when your balenced there are so many littles girls that would like you as a daddy and you in pamper is ok .
    Most guys make the mistake i want a mommy on line most want a guy that can full fill them as there mate too .
    What in it for the other person what can you do for them.

    You have done a lot to provide that you have a lot to give to the other in your life.
    If you look in the right places you will find some one.

    Now she has shut you out it's not you my friend it's her choice you still are you the same guy she the same person no diapers.
    You cant be unhappily your whole life.
    So many have tried to give this up but in the end it's a part of us for me always will be.
    We all have things we do to feel good some bite nails some eat and some spend money to feel better. Your thing is pampers big deal.

    She is not thinking about what can happen to her if she treating you that bad.
    I would say a marrage would not work out if she going to act this way shes not a keeper.

    You deserve better you will find some one that will love you for you not get upset for you going to your happy place.
    As stressed as you are I bet you wanting to be there more offen.
    Keep this in mind 3 years is not a life time.
    If you wish to be kind then give her a little time to get on her feet but know this she all ready shone her colors flerting with others already it's been on your dime .

    Find some one that will love you for you.
    The only mistake I see is you staying and hiding your thing when she got upset in the first place.
    Start going to munchs ab/dl ones you will find some one I have seen couples very happy ones go to teddy con CAPCON too .
    I see your over in Germany there are little play meets over there England I see alot.
    So keep you eyes open check fet life.
    There are baby furs on furaffinity you can meet up with.

    I'm glad about your new job and your getting your work life.
    Just look out if she gets so mad that she trying to mess things up for you.
    Now mabey counciling may help her accept you but I dont think so .
    I'm just glad you found out now before you married her.
    Take care all the best.
    Last edited by foxkits; 16-Jun-2015 at 10:15.

  3. #3


    Don't force her to participate. It'd end your relation - it's my experience, repeted more than one time.

    God luck in that !!!

  4. #4


    Thank you for your kind post foxkit and thank you for reading through my long post ! Gestures like that give me the power to stay positive

    Its just so very hard to accept that this is really something i cant do anything about. So far i have never really faced myself with my abdl side as intensive as now and it really consums a lot of energy to go through all that memories that have led me to the person i am today. It really helps to see that i am not alone with that on this world and that there are people out there who have gone through similiar episodes in thier life.

    Maybe i just have to accept that this is what i am and stop trying to fake a perfect person for somebodys else happines.

    Having a person at home after a long and hard day at work who just not really supports you in your life when it doesnt go so well just dont feel right. But i dont know if i expect to much off her. Wearing diapers is just something really hard to get your head around off , i guess.

    Thank you for your post CrazySmoker !
    I would never ever force her or anybody to participate in anything related to diapers or equal. So far it is something really personal that i dont like to share with anybody, because i would die in shame .

  5. #5


    Hey there Kammron. The most important thing to do, is to think before acting. You must realise that this abdl side won't go away. So you need to be able to explain that to your GF. unfortunately, if this is something she is unable or unwilling to accept, then your relationship is going to fail on many levels.

    If your relationship can not be, then you must try to end it on friendly terms to protect your privacy.

    I don't think your GF is a very nice person, being so awful about your needs. But you should still make sure that you don't just kick her out of your life. She is s person too and if you don't show her respect, she'll never learn to respect people like us.

    Good luck.

  6. #6


    Thank you too Ozbub. All of your posts really give me some comfort at the moment and are helping me to not fully break down at all of this.
    I remember collapsing under all of this a week ago, just sitting on the floor in my bathroom , crying and not able to do anything about it. My girlfriend just came by short, asked me why i was crying. But when i tried to tell her she got angry and asked me in a very rough tone what i expected from her. I told her that i expect nothing, but only wish that she would be there for me to talk about everything.

    She said that she isnt the right person for that to talk about and that she might need help herself because of me and my behaviour. I never confronted her with anything related to adbl nor forced her into anything. That really hit me the most. Realizing that i might have wrecked her mentally and also realizing that she is not there to help me in that situation.

    At the moment i feel like she is angry about me for having that side in me and that her life is not going as expected. I might be wrong here, but dont wont to be too selfish about all that diaper abdl side either.I told her at the start of our relationship that i am not perfectly "normal" like anbody else and like to wear diapers from time to time. I would never just throw her out without anything, but i think she will never accept me the way i am and would just stay with me because it is more convenient. At the end of it i just want her to be happy and am not sure if it will work out with me beeing in a relationship with her
    Last edited by kammron; 16-Jun-2015 at 13:44.

  7. #7


    She's talking to other guys online?? That alone right there would have me kicking her to the curb. Seriously, if she doesn't support you with something that is, lets face it, relatively minor in the grand scheme of things, what is she going to do when inevitably you have a major crisis and really need her? I'm not an ab/dl (my girlfriend is), but when my girlfriend told me about it several dates in I was like "ok". It really isn't as big a deal as you make it out to be. It's one thing for her to be shocked and quite another for her to treat you like garbage and make you feel awful, which is what she's doing here. She doesn't have anything to be "angry" about. You havent "wrecked" her mentally. Come on now. Don't be ridiculous. She sounds manipulative and cruel. If she really cared she would support you and accept you. It's as simple as that.

    In my opinion, this is not someone you want to make a life with. If I were you, I would tell her if she wants to talk to other guys and be a jerk, she can do it elsewhere. Seriously, that's completely disrespectful. As an aside, you kind of teach people how to treat you. I think you should stop being so passive and tell her if she's not going to support you and is going to disrespect you in your own home, she has 2 weeks to find new housing. She may find newfound respect for you. Or she may leave. I think you would be better off if she left

    Wrecked mentally. That's totally absurd. Your fetish is harmless and not a major thing, especially if you don't engage in it often. If it isn't taking over your life you have nothing to be ashamed of. Go find someone who loves and supports you unconditionally. This girl is not worth the anguish you're putting yourself through.

  8. #8


    Man... this is not a good one, eh?

    I will agree with a lot of what has been said here already. Your ABDL side won't go away, it may lie dormant for a while but it will never leave you. And as hard and as blunt as this may come across, ask yourself this: do you really want to be with someone who is that narrow minded?

    As shitty as this sounds, I would say cut your losses. There are so many lovely, beautiful, open minded, easy going people around. You just need to find them

  9. #9


    Last time I didn't take a count about force you to go to shrink. The best, not ? - ironia reseved - So how can help you some shrink ? I think the someone who's trying send you to shrink trying to feel you bad. You perfectly know your condition, so why to shrink ? May she needs some lesseon of tolerance, or (don't know if is better or worse) kick her out. I never realize reltion with some girl, if I see her insuficiently comprensive into my needs, without cuestioning them.

    So put her things clearly "Or you want to be with me, or I'll go, because I wanna not be with someone, who gives me all, but not love..."

  10. #10


    I really hope you have stopped searching for a doctor to help you with your abdl side. You don't need to be cured, you need acceptance and understanding. A doctor has no more ability to cure your abdl tendencies than one can cure me of my gay tendencies.

    From what I'm reading, you're the only one putting any effort into making this relationship work. Is it really a relationship if she is spending her time online with other men while ignoring you? Is it a relationship when she is not there to celebrate your recent achievements?

    I understand how hard this is because you took her in when she had nothing, and you're worried what will happen to her if you split up with her. I'm worried that this is not a reciprocal relationship, with her taking advantage of your feelings and not giving anything back in return.

    Relationships are complicated and they do involve compromise, but this just sounds like a very one-sided arrangement.
    Last edited by Starrunner; 20-Jun-2015 at 00:26.

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