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Thread: Help! I've got a huge crush on my best friend's girlfriend

  1. #1

    Default Help! I've got a huge crush on my best friend's girlfriend

    I don't know what to do. My friend who is the leader of one of the bands I play in and my main employer just got a new girlfriend about a month ago. At first we didn't talk much but now she's part of the circle so we all get along. But there's just one problem: I have a massive crush on her! She's smart, sweet, funny and everything I like. I kinda/sorta think that just "maybe" she likes me too. We've never discussed it nor do I have the guts to tell her. I don't know what to do. I feel like a bad person for having these feelings. He's a great friend and I don't want to disrespect him but I get that feeling every time she's around and especially when she speaks to me. Please help!

  2. #2

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    Firstly, don't feel bad because you have a crush on her. It's not your choice, it's just one of those annoying obstacles which biology and circumstance throw in our way sometimes! I had this issue a while back, though in my case, I didn't feel that the attraction was as likely to be mutual.

    What I did was dropped my friend a note just explaining my feelings, saying that I didn't want to cause any sort of rift or issue, but that I might come across a bit awkward around them because I really, really liked his GF. He was fine with it, and besides a bit of shyness on my part, and hers at the obvious fact I had a huge crush on her, the situation didn't really cause any issues at all.

  3. #3

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    If she liked YOU, she'd be dating YOU rather than HIM. This is a situation where the only answer is 'Don't. Just don't.'. Don't screw around with other people's relationships, NO ONE ever wins when that happens.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by AshleyAshes View Post
    If she liked YOU, she'd be dating YOU rather than HIM. This is a situation where the only answer is 'Don't. Just don't.'. Don't screw around with other people's relationships, NO ONE ever wins when that happens.
    I know. I know.

  5. #5

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    Don't do anything right now but be friends with her. If she breaks up with him, and many young adults do have breakups, then make your move. Otherwise you jeopardize your employment and two friends. I waited and waited for my friend to break up with her boyfriend. They never did and got married. She did, however, introduce me to my wife. Stay cool.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by AshleyAshes View Post
    If she liked YOU, she'd be dating YOU rather than HIM. This is a situation where the only answer is 'Don't. Just don't.'. Don't screw around with other people's relationships, NO ONE ever wins when that happens.
    I don't necessarily agree. It's possible she likes both, but that the friend is the one she met first. Maybe leaving one guy for his friend could just be on her Oh No No list regardless of circumstances. And so on. Lots of feasible scenarios in which she likes OP.

    With you on the "don't screw around with other people's relationships" though.

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    Quote Originally Posted by zipperless View Post
    Don't do anything right now but be friends with her. If she breaks up with him, and many young adults do have breakups, then make your move. Otherwise you jeopardize your employment and two friends.
    Shacking up with your friend's/employer's ex may well have the same result.

  7. #7

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    I think zipperless has it right. The only classy move for you to make is to be a good friend to all involved.

  8. #8

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    Thanks guys. I won't get involved because I like them both as friends. I guess its just something I'll have to get over.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by AshleyAshes View Post
    If she liked YOU, she'd be dating YOU rather than HIM. This is a situation where the only answer is 'Don't. Just don't.'. Don't screw around with other people's relationships, NO ONE ever wins when that happens.
    This. Just walk away from it. I had a crush on a girl who's boyfriend was abusive. I convinced her to leave him, but for me instead. The plan worked but backfired in my face when the guy came back, convinced the girl I tore them apart, and actually got her pregnant. Now they're living happily ever after and I was the guy who's plan backfired and blew up in his face like he deserved. That's something I will never do again. So just don't mess with couples when you have a crush on someone. Not worth the time if you ask me.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by BinkyBoi View Post
    This. Just walk away from it. I had a crush on a girl who's boyfriend was abusive. I convinced her to leave him, but for me instead. The plan worked but backfired in my face when the guy came back, convinced the girl I tore them apart, and actually got her pregnant. Now they're living happily ever after and I was the guy who's plan backfired and blew up in his face like he deserved. That's something I will never do again. So just don't mess with couples when you have a crush on someone. Not worth the time if you ask me.
    Thanks for that. I'll just forget about it.

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