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Thread: dating and relationships

  1. #1

    Default dating and relationships

    So now I have accepted my "little persona" I have started thinking about whatever relationships there may be in my future. On one hand if I could find a partner who will let me indulge this and potentially be willing to roleplay as my mummy that would be ideal. My regression does cross over into my sexual identity and sex life.

    but at the same time I don't it to become the most important factor in determining who I date and form relationships with. It's not my whole life and never will be.

    Just wondering what people on here think about the whole relationships thing what have been some of your experiences. Would you choose to date only people who share some aspect of ab/dl with you already? Have any of you had experiences where you've had to longterm partners who didn't know?

    Whilst right now I would dearly love a relationship with an aspect of ab/dl I would say the plain relationship part is more important to me first! What do people think?

  2. #2


    I am not in a relationship but I believe that ABDL is secondary. First, do you 'hit it off' with someone. That is, can you stand them and do you look forward to being around them. Once this initial relationship is established, then the relationship can expand to other things. One of those things (but not the only one) would be ABDL tendencies. I do think ABDL should be talked about before things get to far along (however, what this point is will vary for each person). Finally, like everything - I don't know think anyone likes someone else 100%. There are always things that people don't like, so you need to decide if a particular trait is or is not a deal breaker.

  3. #3


    I agree with BabyDenise. First things first - can you be good friends? Do you get on? Could it go somewhere? What if it goes wrong??

    It's great that you've accepted your "little persona" because that ain't easy. It's cool that you've come to terms with yourself of course though!

    To answer your question ultimately I would say, just go out there and look for a partner that you are genuinely attracted to, regardless of ABDL.

    Let me tell yo something. About two years ago I met a very pretty ABDL girl online (took hours of messaging and searching believe me!!!!) and we spoke on skype, constantly texting eachother and it was lovely. At the time I was thinking "how could this get better?? A gorgeous ABDL girl who fancies me too and we can wear nappies together". How could that fail? Surely the fetish and the likelihood of meeting another in your area is so rare that surely you could work out any personal differences?? Well in my experience not. And quite right too. Basics are basics. You like someone or you don't. I wish it was easier but it isn't.

    Find a partner who you can be close with, who you trust. And then when the time is right, tell the truth. I've done it (and had to do it for health reasons) and you'd be surprised at how cool people are with it good luck!

  4. #4


    Thanks for your feedback guys! I guess what I'm most worried about is telling someone about my little side only for things to fall apart and for them to go around telling everybody about how I like to wear nappies and regress. Needless to say my family and friends would most likely not understand and would also make things difficult for me in my faith community and potentially professional life. I'm working towards a career in mental health and can just imagine what some professionals in that field would say about it!

  5. #5


    Pretty much what bohemian said. Opening up to them on a first, second (etc.) date wouldn't be a good idea.

  6. #6


    ABDL certainly wouldn't be the most important thing for me in building a relationship, and unless the relationship got particularly serious, I doubt it would be anything I'd focus on trying to bring into the dynamic. However, if we're talking about a long-term relationship; perhaps even marriage or a lifelong partnership, then I'm not sure I could be with someone who wasn't - at the very least - understanding about my ABDL tendencies, and made some concessions to them.

  7. #7


    I feel like that the most important thing is to know what you as an individual needs. I don't think it is wrong for an individual to say, "I need a partner who will be my mommy, or I won't be happy in a relationship," but it would be wrong for them to date somebody, knowing that person is not going to be happy playing mommy/daddy, and hoping that they will do it for you out of love. If an individual knows that certain aspects of their little side needs to be taken care of for them to be happy, then they need to be forward thinking about that within their relationship. which might present the even more difficult situation, which is, they may never find anybody.

    If an Adult Baby knows that they can be happy without having a partner in their life that takes part in their little activities, then it might very well be important to find somebody who is like that, just because it is easier, and it might be a bigger benefit to them to have a companion, than it would be for them to be looking for a companion who is AB/DL friendly, it really depends on the person, and what will make them happier.

    I know that I personally wouldn't be happy if I knew I was married to somebody who didn't love my little side, whether or not they too, part in it, I just want to know that they find it cute, and don't mind that I wear diapers pretty much all of the time. For me, I would feel distressed if I didn't have that level of acceptance, and so I personally am much happier that I am determined to only marry somebody of that level of acceptance, but it first took me accepting that I may never find that individual, and be alone for the rest of my life, and I would be OK with that, because I am going to live a genuine life, to what I believe I need.

    For me, I will make sure that this is understood between my partner and I before anything becomes serious, and that is my personal goal. Because of this goal though, I figure it would be easiest to just find another Adult Baby, however, it is also not too difficult to find people who are open minded just in general dating from what I understand(Except where I currently live, so I haven't been dating much lately).

  8. #8


    It's a tricky one whilst I can definitely see that it would be easier to start a relationship with someone who already has an interest in ab/dl finding people local to me with that shared interest is proving very hard so far, and at the moment I'm only looking for friends to talk with it about! Signed up to so many sites and proving really hard to find people in my area of England. Particularly getting annoyed with abdlmatch as the few people local to me on there won't reply to messages or chats.

  9. #9


    My thought is that the approach should vary based on what you're looking for and where you're looking.

    Like, right now I'm not really interested in going on a bunch of dates. I've got long work hours and a group of social friends plus family stuff that seems to use up my time. So I'm not really looking to meet the person I'll suddenly spend the rest of my life with (or not actively looking, always possible to stumble upon them).

    On the other hand, I am interested in spending some of my free time exploring ABDL things, and would love to find someone that wanted to regularly do parent/baby play in either direction.

    I think what ABDL does, unfortunately, is make it take a bit longer to explore long-term relationships. Because most of us need someone who's both understanding of our ABDL side and compatible more broadly, there isn't a quick way to evaluate if something will work out. You either need to date a while before bringing up ABDL or do ABDL stuff for a while before being comfortable discussing other aspects of life.

  10. #10


    Most stuff I've read here makes a lot of sense and I agree with most of it. If you want an abdl partner then think maybe about this and see what you think. In my life so far, I have met three abdl girls in person from this site and others. Two of them were very awkward dates and one of them I had a short relationship with and tbh it wasn't as comfortable as I'd have liked or thought it would be. Even after lots of texts talking about the subject in detail about fantasies beforehand it was still awkward. On the other hand, my current girlfriend and my ex girlfriend have been the most amazing experiences. My ex didn't like abdl stuff too much but she played along, changed me and even wet herself for me a couple of times and wore once. My current gf isn't into nappies/ diapers but she is a little and has a paci and has also worn once. We switch roles of mummy and daddy and love it. She had no idea she had a little side till we met. She changes me a lot of the time and we are so close because of it.

    I really think the best odds of having these experiences are from people who you fall in love with. Sorry to sound cheesy but thats the best advice I can give you. Best of luck, I hope you find what you're looking for. It is a very special thing if you can find it

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