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Thread: More of a goodbye than a hello

  1. #1

    Default More of a goodbye than a hello

    Hi all,

    For those of you that know me, I have logged in to say goodbye. For those that don't, you can scroll past this post, it won't hurt you.

    I was a regular on this forum a good while ago now, and I have received some very valuable advice indeed.

    However, this time in coming back when I updated my current status as far as my incontinence goes, it felt like people were against my idea of surgery to prevent myself from pooping myself, I had already received quite some aversion when I had recurring problems with my catheter, constantly being told that surely wetting myself would be far better than repeated infections etc.

    No, not for me, I will NEVER be ok with sitting in my own mess, liquid or solid.

    Due to my strong opinions on my OWN hygiene, and my annoyance at various members constantly trying to change my mind, I have decided that it is best that I terminate my membership on the forum.

    I really am not interested in nappies (I call them that because that is what they are, the medical profession call them pads etc to prevent adults from getting upset at the thought of having to wear a nappy) as anything other than a device to stop wee soaking and destroying my clothes and furniture.

    So I have kept myself to the incontinence only section, and I feel, (perhaps due to paranoia more than anything else) that the members who are not medically in need of the products on offer feel I am not welcome here.

    Plus, when I am medically incontinent and not remotely enjoying any aspect, it actually upsets me when people try to persuade me to get used to it, to accept it and to just - well - sit and p*ss myself.

    I will never ever accept that this is the norm, I have too much self respect. Then to be told after that, that I am just in denial? NO. Sorry, just. NO.

    So yeah, I shouldn't even be here. Right in my intro I said it was a mistake and I should leave, I should have just gone.

    The point then of this post, why didn't I just leave quietly?

    I feel that I have made some good relationships here, only one was in error as although it felt so right to start with, it quickly went sour, they were self righteous, all about themselves and had the nerve to have a go at me when I made it about me just for once. (or twice maybe)

    So yeah, I am saying goodbye to the good relationships I had with people here.

    I will give it a while to see if anyone bothers to reply, then I will look at deactivating my account.

    Very best wishes

    Vimes x

  2. #2


    We've never met, you and I, but I'm not sure that matters so much, because I can wish you a heartfelt send off and a "best of luck" to you.

  3. #3


    I never talked to you either but I want to apologize on behalf of anyone that made you feel as if pursuing a solution to your problem was a bad idea or in some way made it so that you don't fit in for whatever reason.

    I hope you find what youre looking for an I hope that you can get all the solutions you need

    Best of luck!

  4. #4


    Hey there, of course you are right to keep fighting for your dignity. There is a world of difference between choosing to engage in something for comfort and being forced into it through circumstance. Acceptance should not be resignment, rather a point of acknowledgement. You can accept your situation but that does not mean you must also cease desiring a different outlook. I hope you achieve the future you are looking for, and also hope that in the mean time you continue to manage what must be a very difficult challenge for you. Many of us actually do care about others.

  5. #5


    Hello CaptainVimes.

    This is a very sad post to read.

    First off: You have to do for you what you see as best, and to H* with anyone else.

    If this is not for you then by all means take care of you first.

    We are a support group, not a mind changing group. IF any one was being offensive or abusive I do hope you reported it to the Mods.

    I am just sorry to see anyone leaving from here with a bad experience.

    I wish you the best of luck and the ability to deal with your issues in a positive light.


  6. #6


    Hey Captain Vimes,

    Wow, that is sad. Still I wish you the best, and I honestly hope you don't leave on a bad note. Still like Egor and other people said If anyone is giving you a bad time, to report it to the mods, I wish you luck though in the future though.


  7. #7


    I'm sory to hear this post. It means that we as a community failed.
    I wish you the best of luck moving foward. Live long, and prosper.

  8. #8


    That's quite sad to hear if this is your decision.

    However, I don't think it's bad stating what troubled you here as of lately.

    I remember one thread about your IC status, where I responded that it's a though decision. But if you think it's the right one, then it will always be. Especially if it can be a success in the end, which means getting rid of those problems in the long run, despite some drawbacks at first.

    But anyway, I also get what you mean. I remember some strange postings in regard of Bowel movement problems and similar things, so I suggested Irrigation, but it ended the way how you described it basically... I'd say those are eitherway trolls, or perhaps people that got stuck in their own ways and can't see anything else, which may be a chance, even if only remotely. Perhaps it's best to let them be? I don't know, maybe that's also wrong... so if they get offensive - they should be reported.
    After all, as mentioned already, we're a support community. Some fail to see this, which is absolutely not your fault the slightest bit, nor should you feel like you are in the wrong place: You are not; they are.

    I'd hope you'd stay. Nevertheless I wish you best of luck and hope that you'll find what you are looking for.

  9. #9


    Hi from another "I do not know you (hopefully, just not yet) member"

    After reading some of your threads it is obvious to see you have become a valued member here.
    Do not let the (often outspoken) few that do not share your want/need for your problems to stop to keep you from a place that you have invested this much into.

    I do hope you stay, and that I might get a chance to get to know you.

  10. #10


    Do not be chased away by those who do not share the virtues you have listed in your ' Tagline '.

    Please stay.

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