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Thread: Mental Health and Physiological Changes

  1. #1

    Default Mental Health and Physiological Changes

    I for a long time now have suspected that there may be something wrong in my brain. There's something... some obstacle that keeps me from remaining motivated, focused, and being able to retain and repeat certain information. I have to graduate this year from high school (I'm 19) in order for it to look normal. I've been doing a homescooling thing but lately my tutors have had a lot of things to deal with and can't always be around. They are with me when I say there is something physical going on that is disrupting my ability to focus and remain motivated to do work. I'm by no means 'lazy' or 'not a good worker' because I actually work very hard. The majority of people I know agree that I am an intelligent young man, but there's something holding me back. Money is a concern... but hopefully I will be able to figure out what's going on. Any and all advice would be appreciated. I have normal mental health, but something is just there not letting me quite get where I want to be.

  2. #2

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    I went through this exact problem when I was in college. In my first two years I really struggled and I couldn't understand why. I was dedicating time and energy to trying to improve myself but I was never able to see results. I actually sought counseling from a school therapist about psychological or physiological issues that could be at play. Although she didn't seem to agree with me, I felt very strongly about this. As I continued to struggle I actually had to launch a "mental war" where I treated all of my classes as battles that I had to strategically win. As ridiculous as it sounds, amazingly it helped me substantially. My grades took an instant turn for the better and I felt more focused and energized.

    Its hard to offer advice on this as each of our personalities, bodies, and brains are so different that trying to pinpoint the problem is difficult. The only advice I may be able to give here is that you need to find something, whether it be mentally or physically, that motivates you. In my case, I always liked studying war strategy and battle history, so naturally I used that to start a "strategic battle" to better my position. I think it worked because I felt like in order to win that war I had to keep finding creative solutions to my problems to stay one step ahead of the "enemy" (failure).

    Take this for whatever it is worth. Some people might look at my strategy and think "WTH?" but as I said everyone operates so differently its hard to offer a concrete solution. Hopefully what I've said will bring you some assistance. But I wish you the best of luck in identifying the problem and correcting it or finding something that propels you forward in a positive manner.

  3. #3

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    I have ADD so I know the feeling well. I have tried just about everything to help mitigate it. The only thing that I found that worked was to create a list of everything that needs to be done on a given day and allocate a space of time to work on it. It was hard in the beginning but now I create the list every morning and follow it as closely as possible.

  4. #4

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    I wonder if you have been tested for having a learning disability? That is one possibility. My other question is, are you suffering from depression. That can make it difficult to learn? There are agencies that can help, so you might consult one. In the U. S. we have Silvan Learning centers, though you might want to get some more professional advise, especially medical advise.

  5. #5

    Default

    at the age of late teens and early adult hood, I have seen a few people go though what your going though. the feeling of being lost with no direction to go.
    for me when I was in my early 20s I was lucky I found a full time job witch helped a lot with day to day life, and made a few new friends, and we spent alt of time in bars bonding. it wasn't until I was in my late 20s that I started to find my way in life.
    so this maybe just a faze of life your going though.
    and I have a learning disability to. like dogboy said it would be a good idea professional advise it far better now then when I was a kid.

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by shibapawz View Post
    I went through this exact problem when I was in college. In my first two years I really struggled and I couldn't understand why. I was dedicating time and energy to trying to improve myself but I was never able to see results. I actually sought counseling from a school therapist about psychological or physiological issues that could be at play. Although she didn't seem to agree with me, I felt very strongly about this. As I continued to struggle I actually had to launch a "mental war" where I treated all of my classes as battles that I had to strategically win. As ridiculous as it sounds, amazingly it helped me substantially. My grades took an instant turn for the better and I felt more focused and energized.

    Its hard to offer advice on this as each of our personalities, bodies, and brains are so different that trying to pinpoint the problem is difficult. The only advice I may be able to give here is that you need to find something, whether it be mentally or physically, that motivates you. In my case, I always liked studying war strategy and battle history, so naturally I used that to start a "strategic battle" to better my position. I think it worked because I felt like in order to win that war I had to keep finding creative solutions to my problems to stay one step ahead of the "enemy" (failure).

    Take this for whatever it is worth. Some people might look at my strategy and think "WTH?" but as I said everyone operates so differently its hard to offer a concrete solution. Hopefully what I've said will bring you some assistance. But I wish you the best of luck in identifying the problem and correcting it or finding something that propels you forward in a positive manner.
    First off I want to say thank you for the advice, I truly appreciate it. I don't think your strategy would work for me, however I am glad it worked for you. I will hopefully discover what works for me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by arcituthis View Post
    I have ADD so I know the feeling well. I have tried just about everything to help mitigate it. The only thing that I found that worked was to create a list of everything that needs to be done on a given day and allocate a space of time to work on it. It was hard in the beginning but now I create the list every morning and follow it as closely as possible.
    Thanks, I just might look into that. :P

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I wonder if you have been tested for having a learning disability? That is one possibility. My other question is, are you suffering from depression. That can make it difficult to learn? There are agencies that can help, so you might consult one. In the U. S. we have Silvan Learning centers, though you might want to get some more professional advise, especially medical advise.
    I have suffered from depression in the past. Actually for 8 years of my life I was severely depressed and suicidal. It was from the ages of 10-18. That might have a huge part in why I struggle so much to remain motivated. I do not have any sort of learning disability as I have been tested for it. I simply am someone who has struggles here and there. My brother does have mental issues but was the result of doctor error. I have no family history of medical mental disorders and/or learning disorders.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DannyBBaby View Post
    at the age of late teens and early adult hood, I have seen a few people go though what your going though. the feeling of being lost with no direction to go.
    for me when I was in my early 20s I was lucky I found a full time job witch helped a lot with day to day life, and made a few new friends, and we spent alt of time in bars bonding. it wasn't until I was in my late 20s that I started to find my way in life.
    so this maybe just a faze of life your going though.
    and I have a learning disability to. like dogboy said it would be a good idea professional advise it far better now then when I was a kid.
    I'm hoping it is just a phase that I'm going through as I continue to adulthood. I do feel some direction, but no direct path. Like I want to go somewhere but it's fuzzy so to speak. I have many different interests and hobbies but no real way I truly want to go. I am currently seeing professional help, I just need to find the right place that takes my parent's/my insurance.

  7. #7

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    So, we know you don't have a learning disability, though you may be depressed or unmotivated. I can understand that feeling. Discipline, for what it's worth, isn't the ability to create motivation, it's the ability to do work anyway, even when you're not motivated at all. What you should do at this point is try different strategies until you find one that works for you. Some people do well making to-do lists, setting reminders, and generally making their day as organized as possible. By creating organization, you make yourself comfortable and you won't want to break your organization and lose that comfort, even if it means working on stuff you don't want to do.

    Another alternative is to try strategies that reward you for the work. This being an ABDL forum, I'd actually suggest things like a star chart, toys, or ice cream. If you get your reading done for the day, you can buy something sweet, or every day you do at least 20 pages of reading for your studies, you get a gold star and you can buy yourself something nice when the whole chart is filled (money permitting).

    A third alternative is to ask people to assist you. You can get some help from friends, family, or roommates. Yes you're 19, but that doesn't mean a friend or parent checking in to gently remind you that you've got work to do is a bad thing. It can be quite helpful.

    A fourth alternative is to just straight up punish yourself. It's my least favorite, but it can be effective. You can't go out and socialize or play games unless your work is done. Period, end of story, stick to it and that's that. Eventually there's nothing else to do and you get what you need to do finished.

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by ArchieRoni View Post
    So, we know you don't have a learning disability, though you may be depressed or unmotivated. I can understand that feeling. Discipline, for what it's worth, isn't the ability to create motivation, it's the ability to do work anyway, even when you're not motivated at all. What you should do at this point is try different strategies until you find one that works for you. Some people do well making to-do lists, setting reminders, and generally making their day as organized as possible. By creating organization, you make yourself comfortable and you won't want to break your organization and lose that comfort, even if it means working on stuff you don't want to do.

    Another alternative is to try strategies that reward you for the work. This being an ABDL forum, I'd actually suggest things like a star chart, toys, or ice cream. If you get your reading done for the day, you can buy something sweet, or every day you do at least 20 pages of reading for your studies, you get a gold star and you can buy yourself something nice when the whole chart is filled (money permitting).

    A third alternative is to ask people to assist you. You can get some help from friends, family, or roommates. Yes you're 19, but that doesn't mean a friend or parent checking in to gently remind you that you've got work to do is a bad thing. It can be quite helpful.

    A fourth alternative is to just straight up punish yourself. It's my least favorite, but it can be effective. You can't go out and socialize or play games unless your work is done. Period, end of story, stick to it and that's that. Eventually there's nothing else to do and you get what you need to do finished.
    I have to say that your advice is not only extremely helpful, but very good. I have tried the punishment rout and I gave up after awhile. I will try the alternatives and see what I can do. I have been depressed in the past, but I finally crawled out of it. I'm recovering as it was only a year ago that I escaped the dark grasp of depression. What really helps me a lot is when people help me. It isn't that I can't do the work, it's that having someone there helps. It's just that my parents are usually busy and when they aren't I don't want their help. I need outside help like friends and what have you. Usually what happens is someone starts helping, then gets too busy with life to really commit which happens, but it isn't less frustrating.
    Last edited by Premetheus; 03-Jun-2015 at 23:39. Reason: random comma and random r

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