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Thread: Tired of being alone in this

  1. #1

    Default Tired of being alone in this

    I am just tired of being alone in this world. My little side needs to be cared for. It's too big a part of who I am to be ignored. I really feel like I need a mommy but there's a few problems.
    1. I'm legally blind and can't get out on my own.
    2. I'm not good with women (no one wants the blind guy)
    3. She'd actually have to be into it. What are the odds of finding someone that would actually want to do that?
    4. I can't help but feel selfish for wanting this.
    5. I wouldn't be able to satisfy her because of my problems (visual and in bed.)

    It's been tearing me up for about a year and half now and it's getting unbearable. I want someone but I have nothing to offer them in return. I can't drive, do repair jobs, afford to buy her nice things or even have sex (I have a serious ED problem that meds and devices haven't helped.) I want to be treated like a toddler when we're alone and an adult in public. I have lots of love to give but nobody to give it to and its eating me up and causes me to drink and I've been trying to curve that habit. I just don't know where to go or who to talk to or what to do because I don't feel like anyone wants an blind musician with BPD whose also an ABDL ands wants to be treated as such.

    Is it wrong to want a mommy? I can't help but feel this way.

  2. #2

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    I'd be lying if I said the odds were great but they're zero if you don't try and lower if you continue to be down on yourself. Accentuate the positive and don't waste your energy lamenting things you can't change. Devote your energy to those things you can do that are fun and interesting and that can be shared with others.

    Just as an example, the erectile dysfunction is a hurdle but there's nothing that says you can't use toys or your other parts to create closeness and enjoyment. The ideal is to get it fixed but if it can't be, there's still good things to do. Does the mommy role have to be sexual as well? Maybe this is just one caring person. Keep thinking.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
    I'd be lying if I said the odds were great but they're zero if you don't try and lower if you continue to be down on yourself. Accentuate the positive and don't waste your energy lamenting things you can't change. Devote your energy to those things you can do that are fun and interesting and that can be shared with others.

    Just as an example, the erectile dysfunction is a hurdle but there's nothing that says you can't use toys or your other parts to create closeness and enjoyment. The ideal is to get it fixed but if it can't be, there's still good things to do. Does the mommy role have to be sexual as well? Maybe this is just one caring person. Keep thinking.
    I would prefer the mommy role not be sexual in any way at all but why would she want to be with me if we're not intimate?

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by gnd567 View Post
    I would prefer the mommy role not be sexual in any way at all but why would she want to be with me if we're not intimate?
    Never underestimate someone's ability to find enjoyment and fulfillment in different way. And make no mistake, even without sex being involved, it's intimate. My caregiving relationship isn't sexual and although it's probably not the norm, it's very fulfilling. I know of several other members here who have had platonic caregivers.

    Again, focus on what you can do and what you want. Be prepared to adjust that in light of new information and feelings but don't just fence yourself off from many ways to be happy. There are likely many paths to it that you haven't considered. This is not a comment on inexperience, just that there are a lot of variables and it's impossible to account for them all.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
    Never underestimate someone's ability to find enjoyment and fulfillment in different way. And make no mistake, even without sex being involved, it's intimate. My caregiving relationship isn't sexual and although it's probably not the norm, it's very fulfilling. I know of several other members here who have had platonic caregivers.

    Again, focus on what you can do and what you want. Be prepared to adjust that in light of new information and feelings but don't just fence yourself off from many ways to be happy. There are likely many paths to it that you haven't considered. This is not a comment on inexperience, just that there are a lot of variables and it's impossible to account for them all.
    Never thought of it that way. I'm not really interested in having a sexual relationship anyway. I do want a girl that could be my mommy and girlfriend though. My professional life is enjoyable but also very stressful at the same time and I would really like to be able to come home and be treated "for the most part" like a toddler.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by gnd567 View Post
    1. I'm legally blind and can't get out on my own.
    2. I'm not good with women (no one wants the blind guy)
    I can say 2 isn't true. My cousin is legally blind and goes through women constantly and they've ranged from all over the place. Of course, he's extremely confident and probably has a way with women that I'm not aware of. His eyes shake and he's been diagnosed since we were itty bitty.

    You also can get out on your own, depending on what resources are available. He did the whole housing thing and waited ages and got it in the end for cheaper bills pulled from his.... SSI? SSDI? I'm not super sure. We were super duper close for aaaages, but I haven't really seen him in like a year and a half.

    Either way! I was just coming here to say being legally blind may deter some, but it doesn't deter everyone.

  7. #7

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    The only thing I can add here is that there are woman and men who aren't especially interested in having sex within a relationship. Obviously it's a smaller percentage, but they are out there. Like Trevor said, you have to keep looking. Perhaps being upfront about what you want might help your search.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    The only thing I can add here is that there are woman and men who aren't especially interested in having sex within a relationship. Obviously it's a smaller percentage, but they are out there. Like Trevor said, you have to keep looking. Perhaps being upfront about what you want might help your search.
    I know. It's just hard because I'm new to this whole relationship thing and also I've never told anyone about wanting something like this.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I also would want it to be hidden unless we were alone and wouldn't want anyone knowing about it.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by gnd567 View Post
    I also would want it to be hidden unless we were alone and wouldn't want anyone knowing about it.
    Oh that's certainly the norm with any of these things. If you're looking on Fetlife or similar, you want to meet someone in just normal situations and get to know them before doing anything intimate (ABDL stuff being intimate whether it's sexual or not). If you're using something more traditional or meeting the old-fashioned way through in-person, you'll want to go on a few dates and simply get to know the person. Ask about what they do, where they're from, their interests and so forth. Then if things develop (again whether it's sexual or just emotional doesn't matter) you can introduce some of the ABDL stuff. There have been a lot of threads discussing how to tell a girlfriend or just regular friends, so if you get that far, you can always come back here for advice. But step 1 is just meeting people.

  10. #10

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    Don't be so down on yourself!

    Sure legally blind must a royal pain, but do not think for a second it is an automatic turn off for women.
    Turn something you think is a negative, into a positive or at least make it funny.
    Example: Its not that I can't drive. Its just that I am really really bad at it, lol. See?
    Making light of it shows you are confident and secure in yourself, things we like to see in guys.

    Also, you said you would prefer a non sexual relationship, (I am guessing because of the ED) but there are other ways to pleasure a woman
    Not to sound vulgar, but your tongue still works doesn't it? :P

    I am sure there is a girl out there for you somewhere, but you are never going to find her if you never try looking.
    (Ya, I know, but there really isn't another way to say it, I'm sorry.)

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