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Thread: New Relationship. Looking for some advice/feedback.

  1. #1

    Default New Relationship. Looking for some advice/feedback.

    Ok, so, I know there's always a whole bunch of these relationship advice threads, so I hate to add another one, but I guess the one thing that's good about threads like this is that no two are ever the same.

    I have a new girlfriend of about two months. I like her a lot so far, she seems smart, grounded, driven, friendly…pretty much everything you could want out of a 20 something in this day in age. Perhaps the best part, is that I told her about my diaper wearing before we decided to make the relationship official, and she was actually ok with it. I didn't expect it to go over so well, but she took it in stride and promised me she'd be supportive of it.

    To her credit, she's lived up to that. I've only worn around her about 4-5 times just to keep it easy in the beginning. She started out asking me to just wear shorts over them the first time or two so she could get used to it. I slept over her place last weekend for Memorial Day and she actually told me to put one on to sleep in, so I did, two nights in a row. She made out with me when we woke up, while I was wearing the diaper and nothing else, so it clearly didn't phase her. I was told to bring a few over to keep at her place in case I ever want them next time I come by. She even told me, when she's ready, she'll try one on herself and give it a shot. Which all of this is pretty amazing and I feel like I'm pretty lucky.

    So, here's where I need advice. When I wore for the first time, I brought over an M4, a Tena Maxi and an ABU Cushie. The Cushie caught her attention the most, she was surprised they actually made diapers like that and not in like a cheetah print or something, so clearly she has no idea about AB/DL. I asked her if she had a preference which one I wore, she said she didn't care, but definitely preferred the "plain ones". Should I take that as her not being comfortable with the baby printed ones? One reason I'm concerned is she never started shaving "down there" until we started dating, because she wanted to match what I did. I asked why she never did before and all she said was she didn't want to feel like a baby. So, I'm wondering if baby looking diapers might push it with her.

    I worry about this because with AB/DL diapers really being the only ones not switching to cloth backing that someday I won't have access to plastic backed diapers. I have like 12 bags of Tena Maxi stashed but it's just a thought.

    Also, under no circumstances am I ever to pee in my diapers, because that's gross. I'm guessing I should just take the compromise there and never actually use the diaper around her? As in, don't ever broach the subject?

    One final question, do I just let her come to me about her trying a diaper on, or do I ask her in time if she doesn't say anything in a few months?

    Thanks for all your time, whoever reads this!

  2. #2

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    First question - some people find the plain diapers to be cuter than ones with print. I'm more into print diapers myself but I've met and talked with many people who feel the plain white diapers are the most babyish or the cutest (I've gotten mixed reasons why they prefer the plain vs print). It could be that she is also still coming to terms with everything and the whole babyish thing is a little shocking right now. I wouldn't sweat it - let it ride and keep the printed ones around, maybe she will come around to liking those too some day. You got her to try them and that is a huge step (and one I'm super jealous about ).

    Second question - I can see how using the diapers is still a foreign subject. I wouldn't broach the topic just yet. Let her get comfortable being around them for a while first. Later on down the road when you're both comfortable about diapers then perhaps that would be the time to suggest that you've always used diapers for their intended purpose, not to just wear them and that you'd like to try it. But I wouldn't push it either. Some people just like the idea of wearing and not using. Perhaps in her mind wearing is good enough. Maybe discuss that more and see why wet diapers bothers her so much.

    Last question - let her explore this in her own time. If after a few weeks nothing happens, I would gently bring the topic up to see what her thoughts are but make sure she knows you fully respect her boundaries and that you are supportive of her decisions. She may surprise you soon - who knows.

    Whatever the outcome of these questions it sounds like you are very lucky man and you have a lot to be happy about! Keep us posted!!

  3. #3

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    I'm guessing she really doesn't understand what being AB is and that's to be expected. Maybe she'll go online and explore the subject, in which case you may be having another long discussion. I think you're already ahead in the game, and I also believe she must love you very much to accept diapers into the relationship. I think time is on your side as long as you go very slowly. With repetition of wearing diapers should come a little more acceptance, and then you can explain a little more. Taking baby steps is key here. (yes, pun intended....sigh)

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by MaxiPad89 View Post
    I have a new girlfriend of about two months.

    I was told to bring a few over to keep at her place in case I ever want them next time I come by.
    She even told me, when she's ready, she'll try one on herself and give it a shot.
    do I just let her come to me about her trying a diaper on, or do I ask her in time if she doesn't say anything in a few months?

    I asked her if she had a preference which one I wore, she said she didn't care, but definitely preferred the "plain ones".
    Should I take that as her not being comfortable with the baby printed ones?

    One reason I'm concerned is she never started shaving "down there" until we started dating
    I asked why she never did before and all she said was she didn't want to feel like a baby.
    So, I'm wondering if baby looking diapers might push it with her.

    Also, under no circumstances am I ever to pee in my diapers, because that's gross.
    I agree, it's probably still a bit of a shock to her, give her time to adjust.
    Take the "printed" (baby diapers) back home, at least for now, if she doesn't like them (even if she said "I don't care"), respect her wishes.
    We don't always come right out and say what we mean, or want, we can be very passive aggressive, and expect our SO's to be part physic, lol Sorry.

    Every girl is different when it comes to down there and why. Some like "coverage", others like "scoured earth", LOL!
    Did she said "she didn't want to feel like a baby." before or after you came out about the diapers?

    She may be self conscious about down there, (Not every girl loves the way her *** looks), she could have been a late bloomer down there, many reasons why a girl would feel that way and why she would put it exactly that way.
    But good news is that she felt comfortable enough with you (and how you see her) to shave down there, so take that as a plus

    Why does she think wet diapers are gross?? Really, you have to ask that? LOL I'm kidding, but ya its because they are gross!
    And Yes, (Insert irony here) I am sitting in a (partially) wet one right now as I type this, but after 5 years I've gotten used to it.

    About her willing to try one out.
    Like I said, leave the printed ones home and leave a few there *for when you come over*
    If she happens to bring up you bringing diapers over, or asks how many you left?
    Just tell her, I don't remember I left a bunch is that OK? Or I don't know 5-6-7 what ever was left in the package, I don't remember.
    Then drop the subject
    I'm not saying it was her plan at all, but her asking you to leave some there could be her way to have access to them so she can try one on privately before doing it in front of you so she can feel comfortable wearing one without being embarrassed or self conscious about doing it for the first time in front of you.

    If it was me, (and my first time/experience with diapers) Ya that would so be something I would definitely say to you.
    Also don't get the wrong idea if she thinks of them (on her) as silly or weird, or even starts to laugh, that could just be her way of breaking the ice.

    Also, unless she out right asks you to put one on her, don't offer or bring it up, putting one on yourself is a hella lot different then someone putting one on you.
    Remember, she is already a bit self conscious about "feeling like a baby" down there, and having someone, even someone she loves, diaper her could definitely weird her out and totally ruin what could be a good thing for you and keep her from exploring this further with you.

    Once she is OK with wearing one, and does in front of you, be sure to tell her how much she means to you and how much you appreciate this and how next time you spend the night / weekend it will sooooo be all about her, then you know, actually make it all about her. We really dig that stuff .

  5. #5

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    Hard doing this on my phone.
    First when you talk about wetting down the road you need to talk about the comfort and safe feelings it makes you feel.

    We all have our comfort zones don't push in her own time.
    You can explan that for guys the feel of the diapers are a big thing for us .
    It's all feel,smell that's puts us into head space.
    we all have things we do to feel good.
    So some shop some eat some spend money or drink.
    I bet she does something too.
    So just take it very slowly.

    The thing is we AB/DL tend to want it all and now.
    So many kill it off that way.
    Just remember treat her like gold she's one of very few open to try a person that's into AB/DL.
    You need to be her prince too.

    All the best to you both go very slow.

    I'm sure you know that.
    Just comunecate is most important.

  6. #6

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    I always wanted diapers but was very shy about my little side but I met my bf a few months ago and was actually thrilled when I found out he wears them. I was still shy about wearing them myself (though knew I wanted to) .so one night we were playing and he asked if I trusted him and of course I do and I closed my eyes and he put one on me and it was such a relief feeling to me and he made the shyness go away by telling me that I was still beautiful and it allowed me to embrace my little side instead of denying it! but the key is he let me go at my pace... I watched him wear them for a few weeks then I started asking if I could try them after having a few accidents myself as my little side started to feel safe. Take it slow first.

    - - - Updated - - -

    To add something that I missed... I've never would ask my bf not to pee in his. I love him for who he is and everything about him. Yes it was strange the first time I slept in one when I regressed but I felt more of a connection with him and the love I already had grew into so much love and respect for him and myself. Be yourself

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