WARNING THIS POST WILL KILL YOUR BRAIN. CAN YOU SURVIVE?
None of it makes any sense and it is just random streaming of thoughts from my mind without any real purpose or direction.
Writing this post because I have an entire day full of exams tomorrow and I haven't been in the mood for studying for any of them.
I am asking if everything is really worth it once you leave school. I don't know how to phrase the question but everyone always goes on about how brilliant their lives are when they leave school and when they move out of home. It's all about how "free" they are and how much better they've got it once they go out on their own.
Relating this back to exams, I honestly can't be bothered doing all this rubbish in school is it really worth it. On the other end of the pond, everyone is always also saying how you'll miss school and how they'll be the happiest days of my whole stupid life and all that. If that's true, I think I'll just go and drown myself here and now.
What is the point? I can't wait that long for my life to get half decent. I can't just go on hoping that one day my life will actually become somewhat tolerable and not a daily endurance test over my resistance to suicidal temptations.
Everyone here always tell me to go and talk to somebody about depression and whatever but I can't. I could talk to my sister but she's too busy with exams as well and doesn't want to talk.
I can't just overcome fear or whatever and talk to my parents. I try so hard to talk to them but I physically cannot make my mouth say the words when I'm around them. I just can't. It's not happening.
You also told me to go and see a therapist or Councillor or whatever. I will NEVER SEE THEM EVER. I saw one once and I would do anything to erase that memory from my brain. They don't help and once I came out of that session I had an urge to kill myself more than i ever have in my entire life. Granted, I lied like a bastard heaps with the Councillor but yeah.
Wtf is this post about? I don't know but somebody give me advice please ADISC is the only place in the world I can talk. SOMEBODY! PLEASE!