About 2.5 years ago, I met a girl who's truly the love of my life. She's adorable, sweet, and we're very complimentary in terms of interests and personalities. I am an AB/DL switch, but she's very submissive. Within a few months, her and I were in a full-time dom/sub relationship. She refers to me as sub, I refer to her as baby or "little girl" etc. She's embraced a young childish personality around me, but has been hesitant on going deep into AB/DL stuff. She'll wear diapers for me about twice a month, but is more comfortable usually wearing childish panties and cute skirts. In other words, she's close but not precisely satisfying me.
Because it's full time, we never switch the roles. The idea of me being the submissive is almost entirely incompatible with our relationship. However, lately I've had a deep desire to be babied and diapered and dominated, much like I have worked hard to get her to accept being done to her. I've considered a number of options including finding some play partner, hiring a domina (the main hesitation there being difficulty finding one in Washington DC at a reasonable price), trying to suppress it, or trying to satisfy it with porn. I could try to tell her, but I'm afraid of ruining the dynamic for a temporary urge.