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Thread: I need some AB/DL opinons

  1. #1

    Talking I need some AB/DL opinons

    Hi,

    I'm writing a paper for my Anthropology class on the AB/DL lifestyle. I've found it really interesting looking through the various sites. I want to accurately portray the community, while I don't have a diaper fetish myself I have my own fetish which is often criticized and ridiculed. If it isn't too intrusive I wanted to ask a few questions:

    Are there any general or unspoken rules to belonging to this group?
    What issues or problems do you face due to your fetish?
    What does being an AB/DL mean to you?
    What are some common misconceptions about AB/DL's?

    Whatever you feel like answering or commenting would be very helpful. I want to get an AB/DL's perspective. Thank you in advance for any of your feedback. It is very much appreciated.

    -unistudent.

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by unistudent View Post
    Hi,

    I'm writing a paper for my Anthropology class on the AB/DL lifestyle. I've found it really interesting looking through the various sites. I want to accurately portray the community, while I don't have a diaper fetish myself I have my own fetish which is often criticized and ridiculed. If it isn't too intrusive I wanted to ask a few questions:

    Are there any general or unspoken rules to belonging to this group?
    What issues or problems do you face due to your fetish?
    What does being an AB/DL mean to you?
    What are some common misconceptions about AB/DL's?

    Whatever you feel like answering or commenting would be very helpful. I want to get an AB/DL's perspective. Thank you in advance for any of your feedback. It is very much appreciated.

    -unistudent.
    1. I would say no for the most part besides do not involve children whatsoever. Another thing is do not try to make yourself medically incontinent or dependent on diapers. This is extremely dangerous and should never be done by anybody.

    2. The obvious weirdness of the fetish. The thought to most people of people wearing diapers and sitting in their own urine and feces is disgust. It is a hard fetish to explain to people and thankfully I haven't had to. Another problem is that it is sometimes hard to accept that this fetish is apart of you and you can't change it. The whole action of hiding diapers from everyone is also very hard and can lead to some close calls or awkward situations.

    3. Being an AB/DL to me means something that makes me unique or who I am. It is something that I have struggled with personally and that many people have. Recently I have come to accept that it is a part of myself and it's something that I can't change.

    4. The obvious misconception of being an AB/DL is that it has to do with children which it absolutely doesn't. Being an AB/DL is about becoming a child not wanting them. That is what also makes this really hard to explain this fetish to people.

    I hope I helped at least a little bit. I would be extremely interested in reading the paper when you are finished with it! PM me if I can help you answer anything else, I would be more than happy to!
    Last edited by Clarity; 17-May-2015 at 08:29.

  3. #3

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    Thank you so much for your reply! I'll post up the paper when it's finally done.

  4. #4

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    Of course man! Feel free to ask me anything you want and I will gladly answer

  5. #5

  6. #6

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    Thank you for the link! I have had a look at this page and found it useful, although I also wanted to hear it straight from members as well.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by unistudent View Post
    Hi,

    I'm writing a paper for my Anthropology class on the AB/DL lifestyle. I've found it really interesting looking through the various sites. I want to accurately portray the community, while I don't have a diaper fetish myself I have my own fetish which is often criticized and ridiculed. If it isn't too intrusive I wanted to ask a few questions:

    Are there any general or unspoken rules to belonging to this group?
    What issues or problems do you face due to your fetish?
    What does being an AB/DL mean to you?
    What are some common misconceptions about AB/DL's?

    Whatever you feel like answering or commenting would be very helpful. I want to get an AB/DL's perspective. Thank you in advance for any of your feedback. It is very much appreciated.

    -unistudent.
    1) There aren't a lot of rules. Just be nice and have common sense and you'll be fine.
    2) Mostly, it's just a fear of being discovered. This really goes against what is considered "normal," and trying to hide this big part of you from the outside is difficult.
    When I was found out by my parents, I went through a long period of time (6 months or more) where I hated myself. I couldn't hang out with friends anymore because of how bad it was. All I saw in the mirror was something wrong, and I stopped caring about life in general. Long story short, it was really bad.
    3) Being AB/DL is a big part of who I am. It took a long time, a lot of heartache, and bad decisions to finally figure out who I am.
    I feel like having this has made me a better person. I feel a lot stronger than most of my friends, I can deal with stress better than most. I also feel like a more understanding person. And, oddly enough, I think my experiences have made me more mature than 90% of my peers.
    3) There are plenty of misconceptions about us. The biggest/most known one is that we are pedophiles, which we aren't.

    I'd type more, but it's really late, and I'm super tired. I'll probably come back and edit this tomorrow so that it's more understandable.
    BTW, I would live to read your essay when it's done

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by unistudent View Post
    Hi,

    I'm writing a paper for my Anthropology class on the AB/DL lifestyle. I've found it really interesting looking through the various sites. I want to accurately portray the community, while I don't have a diaper fetish myself I have my own fetish which is often criticized and ridiculed. If it isn't too intrusive I wanted to ask a few questions:

    Are there any general or unspoken rules to belonging to this group?
    What issues or problems do you face due to your fetish?
    What does being an AB/DL mean to you?
    What are some common misconceptions about AB/DL's?

    Whatever you feel like answering or commenting would be very helpful. I want to get an AB/DL's perspective. Thank you in advance for any of your feedback. It is very much appreciated.

    -unistudent.
    I think the majority of us here enjoy answering these kind of questions, partially because there is not much awareness or understanding about AB/DL's.

    It is hard to say that there are actual rules to AB/DL's as a group, because AB/DL is really more of a tag, there isn't really an official group, as there would be if you were talking about being in the "Catholic group" or something of that sort. There are many communities though, as far as I'm aware, reddit.com/r/abdl, fetlife, and adisc, hold some of the largest of our numbers.
    Really the only unspoken rule that I can kind of think of, is the more popular opinion that you usually only tell your special other about your AB/DL side, and not usually anybody else. However some, including me, will be much more open about it, I am because it really helped me accept myself, and feel more comfortable in my own skin knowing that people were ok with it and wouldn't reject me if they did find out on accident.

    Some issues that i think we face, is that people often consider it 'just a fetish'. AB/DL means a lot of things to a lot of people, and it isn't always sexual. There are actually a lot of AB/DL's that consider this side of them to be simply a relaxing way to spend time. Feeling regressed to the age of a young child/baby, is very calming because you don't feel like you have to worry about anything, since baby's are always taken care of. You get to feel familiar sensations as to what you would have as a baby, and it is just amazing to go back like that. So for somebody like me, being an Adult Baby, was first, a method of feeling little again, it only became something sexual after puberty, but before then, I always wanted to have my stuffed animals with me, and had a fascination with getting back into diapers.

    Another issue that AB/DL's face, is the fear that people who learn about us, will mistake this lifestyle as being pedophilia. The big difference between the two, is that we want to BE/FEEL-LIKE a baby, while pedophiles want to have sexual contact with a baby, there is a huge difference, in the fact that we have nothing to do with involving minors. It should be very obvious that this is the fact, but the association of diapers and everything else, just makes it easy to be afraid of misinterpretation.

    Another big trouble with our lifestyle is, that it is hard to get started. As a first time buyer of diapers, you don't know of any of the websites you can buy from, you don't know how you can order it without people seeing a giant box at the door for you and not asking what is in it. You usually only know of buying diapers in the grocery store, so you have to go there, and then you have to get the guts together, to buy a package of diapers, while trying to keep a straight face. You get major butterflies for the first while, because you are afraid of other people discovering that the diapers are for you, and you just hope that maybe they think you are buying them for somebody else.

    Another problem we face, is that it is difficult to get good distributors of AB/DL supplies. There are a few good ones, but even with the good ones, there is not much variety either. Since AB/DL's appear to be a small portion of the world, there isn't much catering towards our needs. There is a whole bunch of items that us AB/DL's would love to buy, but don't get made. Sure there is the default, pacifiers, bottles, bibs, diapers. What you don't see much of though, would be other babyish things like a baby bouncer for instance, in an adult size. Kribs are also expensive, and it is hard to have one if you are trying to be a closeted AB/DL.

    Being AB means to me, is that I get to experience the euphoria again of being a little baby. Being excited over silly things. Wearing and having really cute stuff. Having the companionship of my stuffed animals, and being able to cuddle with them. Feeling safe in a clean diaper, and nursing on a bottle of milk. Listening to lullabies to go to sleep. These are all things that everyone enjoyed at an early time in their lives, so it only makes sense to me, that some of us may have never stopped enjoying it.

    Being a DL on the other hand, is a very separate side of me that isn't a regressed little side, instead, I look at myself as an adult who enjoys the sensation of wearing a diaper, and finds it sexually arousing to have on myself, and to see on other adults that i'm attracted too. The moment that this personal aspect of self changes, is if my hormones are high, just like any other adult who acts one way in their normal life, but then when they get sexually excited, starts to act very differently. My AB side is not mentally stored in the same place in my head as my DL side, and the only thing that really associates between the two, is the fact that diapers are involved. It is easy to explain how that got associated between something that is totally innocent, and something that is sexual, because it is an object that is hugging your genitals, and one day puberty kicks in, and that object suddenly gets associated in your mind with sexual behaviors.

    I think the most common misconception about AB/DL's, at least for those who learn by media, is that all AB/DL's want to be treated like babies all of the time. Personally, I would enjoy it for the most part, but I also enjoy feeling like a productive member of society. Most AB/DL's actually live closeted, or only their special other knows, so they actually spend most of their time as an Adult, only some get to spend 24/7 diapered, and even fewer get to spend 24/7 being treated like a baby.

    Another misconception that could exist, is the idea that since we enjoy such a simple and mentally non-demanding lifestyle, then we may not be that educated. However, a while ago a thread was started to poll Adult Babies on this website, the results are very interesting, and I think you would really enjoy them for your report. http://www.adisc.org/forum/showthrea...l-of-Education

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by unistudent View Post
    Hi,

    I'm writing a paper for my Anthropology class on the AB/DL lifestyle. I've found it really interesting looking through the various sites. I want to accurately portray the community, while I don't have a diaper fetish myself I have my own fetish which is often criticized and ridiculed. If it isn't too intrusive I wanted to ask a few questions:

    Are there any general or unspoken rules to belonging to this group?
    What issues or problems do you face due to your fetish?
    What does being an AB/DL mean to you?
    What are some common misconceptions about AB/DL's?

    Whatever you feel like answering or commenting would be very helpful. I want to get an AB/DL's perspective. Thank you in advance for any of your feedback. It is very much appreciated.

    -unistudent.
    1. I can't think of any specific rules to the community that aren't just general rules that apply to all groups of people (Treat others with respect, don't get others involved who haven't expressed consent for this, don't harm yourself, etc.)

    2. The main problems I faced because of my fetish were that of self-loathing, fear of anyone finding out, isolation, and fear of being sent to a psychiatrist. Thankfully, I have yet to be discovered by anyone so far, thanks to the fact that I am a secretive person, which is partially because of this fetish. I know this one time shortly after I bought my pack of diapers, I had this sudden and intense irrational fear (possibly a panic attack) that my family found and had to leave the crappy party I was at to go home and reassure myself that it was just a bad thought to calm myself down, and thankfully that's the only time something like that ever happened. I overcame these problems partially due to me not caring about being weird and different in non-fetish parts of my life, so it was easy to take that "Fuck the norm! I enjoy what I enjoy!" attitude I already had and apply it to my sexual side for my fetish. It also greatly helped having sites like ADISC, Fetlife, and meeting other ABDL friends to see that I'm not alone.

    3. Hard to really say. Recently, the wall that segregated my ABDL side from the rest of me fell and it's just another part of me in the same way that my other interests are (though nobody knows except for my ABDL friends). I was miserable and hated myself fighting this, so I taped on a diaper, embraced it, and am so much happier now. Honestly, it's just yet another thing I like.

    4. The obvious misconception that everyone will point out is the idea that ABDL has anything to do with kids or pedophilia, and yeah. That misconception angers me to say the least.
    The other, much less offensive, misconception is that the ABDL community is all generally into the same thing, such as "All ABDLs enjoy pacifiers, sleep in a crib, shit their diapers, want to go 24/7, etc. The ABDL is a very diverse community with lots of different ways of practicing it, and the vast majority don't want to go 24/7 and have other aspects to their life.

    Hope this has been helpful. =)

  10. #10

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    A lot of what people have posted already is spot on, I just wanted to add something to the second question you asked - What issues or problems do you face due to your fetish? Quite a lot of ABDLs do or have at some point have been affected by depression, though I really couldn't tell you why exactly, I expect everyone has their different ideas about it. Whether or not you could draw some kind of direct correlation I really don't know.

    As an ABDL myself who suffers from depression, part of the reason for me at least I think can come down to, not being able to be myself and express myself in public without fear of judgement and just not being able to be myself, luckily I have friends who don't judge me or look down on me because of how I act which can really be an invaluable outlet, for example just being able to stay at my friends' house and bring a plushie and not have it questioned, or just not having the little mannerisms that escape such as the way I speak or the things I do which are often very childish brought up really does help.

    Being an abdl to me really just means being myself, my true self and not having to hide anything.

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