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Thread: Trying to Kill Myself

  1. #1

    Unhappy Trying to Kill Myself

    Oh no, it's me again

    So for the last 3 or so days, every night, I've been trying to kill myself but I always chicken out at the last minute and it is really bugging me.

    I can't help just hating everything and everyone around me.
    I hate how everyone always has more confidence than me.
    I hate how no other guys in my school care about their appearance and yet always look a million times better than me.
    I hate how everyone is always smarter than me.
    I hate how people always want to talk to each other but no-one ever wants to talk to me.

    I literally feel sick when I look at myself in the mirror. I hate how my parents always rant about how they want me to be more open with them, but as soon as I start trying to, they just act like rejecting bastards.

    Ahh these posts get more crazy as they go on. I know you guys probably have better things to do than deal with me but I'd appreciate some advice.

  2. #2

    Default

    Chickening out is a good thing, in this case. I strongly suggest you see a counselor or else go to the ER if you've been that close to the edge. Like, today. No appointment for next week crap. Don't let the bastards win.

    I can only help somewhat with the complaints you describe, as I suffer from many of the same issues. So far, I've been able to turn my displeasure outwards rather than inwards (my mom, for example, has been getting an earful from me for months now). As a rule I dislike people, although I have found rare exceptions. I try to ignore the way people treat each other, and instead I simply treat them as they treat me (and if they don't like it, I assume there must be something wrong with them). In my experience, people who are treated well by others fall into three main categories: (1) They're cute / attractive; (2) They're wealthy and/or socially well-connected (read: influential); (3) They are intimidating, so people are on their best behavior to avoid their wrath.

    I am none of the above, so naturally I tend to get walked on. Such is human nature.

    What do you dislike so much when you look in the mirror, specifically (other than the being human part, of course)?

    And seriously... see someone. Today.

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Milko View Post
    Oh no, it's me again

    So for the last 3 or so days, every night, I've been trying to kill myself but I always chicken out at the last minute and it is really bugging me.

    I can't help just hating everything and everyone around me.
    I hate how everyone always has more confidence than me.
    I hate how no other guys in my school care about their appearance and yet always look a million times better than me.
    I hate how everyone is always smarter than me.
    I hate how people always want to talk to each other but no-one ever wants to talk to me.

    I literally feel sick when I look at myself in the mirror. I hate how my parents always rant about how they want me to be more open with them, but as soon as I start trying to, they just act like rejecting bastards.

    Ahh these posts get more crazy as they go on. I know you guys probably have better things to do than deal with me but I'd appreciate some advice.
    PM me now, and tell me as much as you're comfortable sharing, and we'll talk more. Suicide and suicidal feelings are very serious, and attempts are moreso, so I want to help as best I can.

  4. #4

    Default

    I agree with Sapphire, you should speak to someone about how you feel straight away. You are a special human being and you deserve to have happiness. You will get through this.

    https://www.7cupsoftea.com/ - If you just need someone to talk to you can check out this site. I really strongly suggest that you speak to a medical professional too.

    We love you Milko.

    Edit: You can always feel free to message me on here as well if you want to talk to someone, I've been suffering from deppression for the last few years, I know how it feels.

  5. #5

    Default

    Milko, I spent a lifetime feeling exactly how you are feeling right now; low self esteem, believing everyone was better and smarter than me. It took a long time to get over those feelings, even though I still struggle some days. The fact that you have been able to hang on is a positive sign. It shows you may not want to harm yourself, but rather, you are looking for ways to change the situation and don't know how. When you feel suicidal, it can be difficult to look at the greater picture when you're struggling just to stay alive. Keep fighting, it will be worth it. These feelings do not last forever.

    (1) I strongly encourage you to talk to someone IMMEDIATELY about how you are feeling. If you are at risk of attempting right now,, then I would encourage you to get yourself to a hospital.

    (2) Go to the "Articles" section on Adisc's home page and click on the 'About Adisc' section. The top article 'Suicide Prevention Helplines' has a list of helplines you can call to speak to someone who is trained to help you through this.

    (3) Keep talking to us. People will be here for you and we want to help. Believe me, people here will care for you. You've taken a big step by opening up here. Now I urge you to have the courage to take the next step, and talk to someone as soon as possible.
    Last edited by Starrunner; 15-May-2015 at 17:43.

  6. #6

    Default

    I have gone though the same thing too, but I like to look at it this quotes way "keep moving forward" or "never look back". Life in school is a fake those people that are that way most of the time there amazing life ends when school ends. Because life can change but dead can't. Hang in there buddy you time will come.
    Fell free to pm me, if you need someone to talk to.
    Last edited by ApplePi; 15-May-2015 at 14:57.

  7. #7

    Default

    You need to get help with this right now. I've tried suicide twice when I was younger but was lucky my mom was there to stop me.

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Milko View Post
    So for the last 3 or so days, every night, I've been trying to kill myself but I always chicken out at the last minute and it is really bugging me.
    1) Like others have said - Go to a hospital, get help, not Monday, not tomorrow, NOW!

    2) Don't want to? Fine.
    But while you're sitting home, I want to read THIS

    And when you are done reading it. Read. It. Again.

    Do you want to be that person?
    I hope not, because being that person SUCKS!
    Being "that" person never, ever, leaves you.

    THAT person still has all the problems and bullshit they did before. But now have even more.

    THAT person is me and let me tell you from experience - this is NOT something you want to try!

    I thought that my only option was to end it all ---- I WAS WRONG.
    I have to live with that everyday and I hope you never do!
    Learn from my (incredibly stupid) experiences.
    Read it. Read it again. Read it anytime you are feeling this way.
    Don't become me. Learn from me. Please.

    PS: It may not be pretty, it may go a bit sideways at times, but the point is there.

  9. #9

    Default

    Well...that makes two of us.

    Go for a walk or drive or something, helps me sometimes...

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Milko View Post
    Oh no, it's me again

    So for the last 3 or so days, every night, I've been trying to kill myself but I always chicken out at the last minute and it is really bugging me.

    I can't help just hating everything and everyone around me.
    I hate how everyone always has more confidence than me.
    I hate how no other guys in my school care about their appearance and yet always look a million times better than me.
    I hate how everyone is always smarter than me.
    I hate how people always want to talk to each other but no-one ever wants to talk to me.

    I literally feel sick when I look at myself in the mirror. I hate how my parents always rant about how they want me to be more open with them, but as soon as I start trying to, they just act like rejecting bastards.

    Ahh these posts get more crazy as they go on. I know you guys probably have better things to do than deal with me but I'd appreciate some advice.
    Few Points to look at here.
    If you hate everyone around you, it be a good time for you to change who it is that is around you to an extent to where you are at least more comfortable with who you see.

    If you feel afraid that your confidence is down the drain, try and look at what it is that you don't feel confident at, and see what you can do to make yourself seem more skillful in said subject and your confidence will show whether you notice it or not.

    Fuck appearance. Personality will get you so much farther in life, especially if you work hard and prove yourself.

    People are always going to smarter than someone at something, you are still probably smarter than them at one thing.

    When it comes to the final point, find those who do care about you the most and cherish that time. Everyone here who is reaching out probably would be there for you quite a bit if you asked them to.

    People who try to kill themselves always say that when they are close to death, they realize that their problems could all be solved and they've made a horrible mistake within trying to kill themselves. These problems are fixable, you can solve them. It's okay to ask for help too. Feel free to message me if you'd like, i'd be glad to talk to you if you'd like to talk about things. I myself have been a loner at times in my life, and yet I've learned to make people somewhat interested in me, its a skill that just comes and goes for a lot of people depending on life circumstances.

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