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Thread: Why do I bother?

  1. #1

    Default Why do I bother?

    I hate my live. I really really do. There's no where I can go. No possible move I can make. I've been checkmated to live a life of crap and suffering. I get yelled at for things I have no hand in. Everything I try fails. I'm doomed to die unfullfilled and damaged. No one truly cares. Everyone lies, everyone cheats and there's no point in going any farther. I'm out of ideas for a possible future. There's nothing I can do. I've tried college and failed. I'm in pain every day from just eating. It causing me to get a migraine. I can't even get a better job, I work two weeks straight or to get by. What kind of life is that? No real time for fun, or enjoyment. I want to die inside so I don't feel hurt anymore. I've tried to get help, but no one has time for me. Not my mom. My dad hate me, and I can't seem to trust anyone. I'm tired of trying. I just want to stop now. I don't have anything left in me. I'm extremely stressed. I'm trying to make it go away, but nothing is working. It's only building. The thoughts keep coming to my head. What about the future? This question is haunting me. I don't have an answer.

  2. #2


    Only you can answer your question, but you shouldn't hate your life because you're given only one. While things get damaged, all you can really do is build it up. It's like I said, just keep looking and you will find one eventually. I had two job interviews but 1 did not want me because they realized I had no job experience and the second one is a place full of black people and i'm white. Not trying to be racist but you know how places like that go.

    IF you have good friends, you can blow steam there for awhile and slowly try to catch up but I can honestly guarantee you that I don't hate you, and neither does your friends or anybody on ADISC for that matter. You also might want to schedule something with your doctor so you don't do any physical damage and make sure it isn't too late. I believe in you DBM, don't give up.

    If I have to, give me a few years when I get my Pilot's license and i'll fly myself to hang out with you and help you look for a job, I wouldn't count on that because you might find a better job before I get there along the way. Just keep trying and never give up.

    Over the past month, I received a death threat from a former friend, harassed, college stress, etc...i'm still hanging it in and I think you should as well.

    Everyone is going to cheat their life and nobody can do anything about it except karma will catch up but you have a bright future ahead of you, you just need to find the key and open it.

  3. #3


    Hey, DBM,
    I wish I could give you a simple answer that would make everything better, but you identified so many things that aren't going well, it's hard to come up with something that will just make the pain stop.

    I know what it's like to come out of a home where you don't feel loved and how it affects our self esteem. This can often stay with you in later years and it affects your outlook on life, and your mental and physical health. You're not alone in trying to find your place in the world. Considering the hand you've been dealt, however, it's amazing you're still alive and trying to be better. That's a testament to your strength even if you don't see it right now. After I left a home with an abusive father, I spent a decade floundering in work that I hated, with low self esteem and having done badly in high school. Eventually, out of desperation and sick of living in misery, I took the chance and went back to school. When I graduated, I found work that I loved and found new meaning in my life. However, even today, I still have to battle with feelings around self esteem, but I don't let those feelings overwhelm me.

    I'm not saying what I did is what you should do, but I do think you need to start making some choices. My biggest concern is that you sound seriously depressed. This can affect your ability to move your life forward or even begin to make any changes. If you're in a constant state of anxiety and not feeling any pleasure in your life, it's time to do something about it. I encourage you to contact a help line as soon as possible. You could be dealing with an underlying depression which can be treated. Please consider calling this help line number if you are feeling depressed or suicidal: 1-800-784-2433

    You also mentioned you're suffering from severe migraines. If these have been persistently ongoing, it would be a good idea to see a doctor as soon as possible. Again, these could be symptoms of an underlying illness, and perhaps can be treated, or at least get some pain relief.

    I see a number of issues here which will require you to make some decisions primarily; (1) dealing with depression and self esteem, (2) addressing your physical health, and (3) deciding what you want to do with your life. I think you need to address the first two issues, your mental and physical well being first in order to be in a good state of mind on how to move forward with your life

  4. #4


    Trust me when I say this I've tied. No one cares to listen. I've tried talking to my mom. She doesn't have the time of day for me anymore. I don't have the money to see a therapist. I went to a doctor for the headache there was nothing they can do. (The doctors in my town truly suck. It's honestly a joke here.)My old methods for handling stress aren't working anymore. I'm looking for other ways to help, but they only scatch the surface so far.

  5. #5


    Quote Originally Posted by DarkBabyMagicain View Post
    Trust me when I say this I've tied. No one cares to listen. I've tried talking to my mom. She doesn't have the time of day for me anymore. I don't have the money to see a therapist. I went to a doctor for the headache there was nothing they can do. (The doctors in my town truly suck. It's honestly a joke here.)My old methods for handling stress aren't working anymore. I'm looking for other ways to help, but they only scatch the surface so far.
    Hmm, there are some alternatives if your a bit strapped on cash. Some of them can be relatively free to just being cheap but the main focus is to get yourself situated first off. What's causing you stress, what's the breaking point, etc. Find out those and get a way to counter them and just flush your emotions with calm nerves like listening to music until you have a plan, yoga is an excellent way to wind down, just about anything that is cheap can relieve stress and not cause any physical or emotional damage to you DBM.

    She's your mom and you may want to be direct with her, if not, then your best bet is to just go to your friends for suggestions. Good luck and msg me if you need anything else.

  6. #6


    DBM, we care about you. We care that you're healthy, and that you're able to find happiness.

    Unfortunately, we're only posters on an online forum. We're not able to give you a home or come visit you in person (though maybe someday, an ABDL will strike it rich and open up a charity to help people suffering from depression).

    What we can do is offer you resources. Starrunnner posted a number you should call and I agree with him. 1-800-784-2433

    I think there might be people near where you live who can help you. And if there really aren't any, you might be able to find people elsewhere who can support you. Don't give up. We're all rooting for you.

  7. #7

  8. #8


    I'm so sorry about this all going on. I know you are a really good contributor here, so at least you can know you have friends here and you help other people by being here.

    On the subject of your future, have you tried trade schools? I know some people do a better job with a trade than they do with college, and it can still pay really well. Welding, truck driving, beauty schools, message therapy, all of those you can do without having to take annoying classes that have nothing to do with your career.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Also, you might want to check out a free clinic, they might have a free doctor that can prescribe you some anti depressants which might be helpful to get back on track.

  9. #9


    There are some large churches who have counselors. Our church had one until she and her husband retired and moved to Richmond. I would stay away from Baptist churches as they see everything as a sin. But other denominations are more open minded.

    You've had a lot of good advise from above. I think it really helps to have something you have to do each day. For me it's always been working at a job. I've had good jobs and bad ones, but at least they kept me busy. For some of us, having time to sit and think isn't a good thing. I have to stay busy. I'm assuming you are working? This can help, that and having a RL friend to talk with.

  10. #10


    Except for a lack of sleep my day is going okay. I've been watching comedy to get my spirits up. I'm trying to keep my mind off of worries for the time being.

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