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Thread: I need some advice with telling my friend and girlfriend

  1. #1

    Default I need some advice with telling my friend and girlfriend

    Ok, so I have alot of medical issues due to being born early. I have told my girlfriend and friend about alot of them, like that I able incapable of making children. I am having issues trying to tell them about my incontinence though.
    It isn't as bad as others have it. I mean, it is mostly a huge issue at theme parks with things like roller coasters or during car ride because of the bumpiness of the road. I do wet or mess at night or during the day sometimes but not too much.
    My relationship with my girlfriend is pretty serious and I know I will have to tell her eventually. we plan on getting married and living together. I know I should tell her before that point. The issue is I am nervous and embarrassed and I do not want her to think of me differently or worse, be grossed out.
    My friend is a different story. My friend is like an honorary little sister to me and she listens when i need to talk about things. Recently she decided that she wanted to take me to a carnival because I have never had a good experience at one. The thing is, I can't ride the rides without uncontrollably wetting or messing myself because of the speed, g-forces, etc. I could wear a diaper but i would still have to change and that would still raise questions.
    She is determined to take me and wants me to have a good time. I'm going to have to tell her before we go but i have no idea how to. How exactly does one tell their honorary younger sister that they can not do the majority of activities at a carnival without having a major accident? Again, I am nervous and embarrassed.
    I would appreciate some advice.

  2. #2

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    Hey,
    Both, your girlfriend and friend seem to be nice and understanding as they are ok with everything you have told them already. I know it is an embarrassing thing but then again, it is due to a medical reason and not mere fetish. I am very sure that both your girlfriend and friend will be fine with it...

    If I were you, I probably would tell them separately and also tell them that you did not feel able to say it earlier as you are very embarrassed about the whole situation.
    I am sure they will be understanding.

    I hope that helps.

    - Luci

  3. #3

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    Let them know, especially your girl friend if you are planning on getting married keeping this a secret now will be tougher to tell in the future as the question would be why did you not say somthing sooner. Every one so have told have been supportive about my OAB and having to wear so you should not have any issues telling people that are close to you.

    Just remember it's a medical issue and you have no choice but to wear so you shouldn't fear telling them.

  4. #4

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    It might be hard for them to understand some of your medical needs however should you not tell them and by some circumstance they find out it will be harder for you to explain yourself. My advice is that you bring up your incontinence issue to your Girlfriend in private and explain the how and why you need to wear a diaper. Also tell her that you cannot ride some of the rides at a carnival because of the stress on the body I.E. the G forces and such cause you to increase the output of urine and or stool. There is no need to be nervous or embarrassed if they truly care about you (which it sounds like it) they will be understanding of such a issue and will attempt to find a way to work around it. 1 last thing if you do go to an amusement park enjoy yourself there are plenty of rides that don't involve your stomach and insides being wrapped around in knots

  5. #5

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    I've told a grand total of 3 people in my life that I am a diaper lover. Every time it was someone I trust greatly. It sounds like these people are those you trust. I don't want to belittle your situation because you definitely have it harder than I do, but if this is a medical thing for you and they should know, don't be embarrassed. It Is your lot in life. If your girl and you are serious and your talking marriage she really should know. I told ,y fiancÚ when we had been dating just over a month and she accepted me for me. Granted we knew early on that we were good for each other. I actually had the confidence to wear one in front of her (that went over way better than I had ever hoped). My point is that if your lady accepts and truly loves you, she should be totally understandable in knowing this.

    It sounds like you have a couple really good people in your life. These people should be very understanding and loving if this is the case. Good luck friend!

  6. #6

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    I was born too early too .
    Had problems as a kid so understand that.
    True friends stand for you good luck.

  7. #7

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    Thank you, everybody. I appreciate all the help and advice i have been given. Unfortunately my girlfriend has broken up with me... I had not even broached the topic yet. So that just leaves my friend. I did attempt to tell her but she is slightly confused by it.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by MisperceivedMelody View Post
    Thank you, everybody. I appreciate all the help and advice i have been given. Unfortunately my girlfriend has broken up with me... I had not even broached the topic yet. So that just leaves my friend. I did attempt to tell her but she is slightly confused by it.
    Dude that sucks, what happened, if you don't mind my asking?

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Entropio View Post
    Dude that sucks, what happened, if you don't mind my asking?
    She is going through some things and wants us to be "just friends". I still love her though so it hurts to talk to her and feels really awkward.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by MisperceivedMelody View Post
    Thank you, everybody. I appreciate all the help and advice i have been given. Unfortunately my girlfriend has broken up with me... I had not even broached the topic yet. So that just leaves my friend. I did attempt to tell her but she is slightly confused by it.
    So sorry to hear this! I hope things will heal over soon but I know its painful - stay strong!



    Quote Originally Posted by foxkits View Post
    I was born too early too .
    Had problems as a kid so understand that.
    True friends stand for you good luck.
    This. A true friend will support you no matter what. As will any significant other. You have to judge each situation independently to see if you think the person is ready to receive that information and play out scenarios should things go south. Its never easy telling anyone, so I applaud your gusto for moving forward with it. I hope all goes well. Keep us posted!

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