Hey, I'm looking for some friendly advice here.
Now, before I go into explaining my "issue", I just want to make sure that everyone understands that I need this forum topic to stay POSITIVE. I don't want any HATE SPEECH or ATTACKS to be made against ANYBODY.
My Hubby and I have been talking a lot over the last few days, about me, my infantilism, and everything. We're both feeling a little emotionally drained.
Allow me to explain.
My husband and I have been really working at a lot of things in our life together the last 7 years we've been together. From his medical problems to my medical problems to my depression and anxiety, to our family life, raising a child together... we've been through a lot. And I can't possibly love and respect him any more that I do now. And I know he loves me just the same.
My hubby was more than okay with my infantilism when I first told him (After the feeling of betrayal he had when I came here to talk about it before him), but since he's not a caretaker type (not even with our own daughter who was a legit infant), he is uncomfortable being with me when I am regressed/ing.
He's having a hard time as he thought that my regression was like a "Part-Time", a "Hobby", something that I could control, be happy with taking part in from time to time, daily even, like the way I get enjoyment from watching TV or playing video games or sewing.. but he didn't realize that it's part of my personality, like the same way that I'm homosexual, you know?
I can't blame him, I mean, my infantilism was something I hid, something I felt guilty liking... something I would binge and purge every few years, ever since I was 5. I thought I was broken, and thought I could stay away from it and not let it affect me or my family.
Now, I'm realizing, and my hubby is realizing, that it's not a hobby, it's a part of me, and it's making him a little upset. He's not angry, he doesn't want a divorce or anything, and he's never been mean about it ever. He doesn't make me feel bad, and he doesn't want me to stop necessarily.
I mean, I love my hubby to bits, and I don't mind that he's not a caretaker. and I don't want to ruin what we built over the last 7 years just because I have infantilism, you know? I feel really lost. I know my hubby loves me and wants to be with me and keep working on our family together, and he knows I want that too.
I also plan on talking to my therapist with him tomorrow as well, I'm hoping that there is a resolution. I feel like I'm such a terrible person for hiding this from him for our entire relationship, I thought I made it go away a long time ago....
I don't want to loose him, I don't want to have to split up... I don't want to keep him bound in a relationship that makes him uncomfortable, where his partner has infantilism...
I just don't know what to do or think or say, I'm just frazzled...
Thanks in advance for reading this long post, and sharing your words of wisdom.
TL;DR: Hubby can't be in love with an adult baby, and I can't force him to. BE NICE, DON'T HATE ON ME OR MY HUBBY, BE RESPECTFUL, THANKS FOR THE HELP!