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Thread: Friends Suck Sometimes

  1. #1

    Unhappy Friends Suck Sometimes

    Why am I writing this? I dunno but I my friends are really annoying me at the moment. Like, pretty much all the time now everyone is just constantly ditching me and abandoning me during school. They disengage me from conversations and never want to talk to me.

    I'm always just a last resort for them when all of their better friends are off doing something. Like, they'll hang out with me sometimes but as soon as they see someone else, I just seem to disappear from their minds.

    AHH Is it too much to ask to have friends who actually want to acknowledge my existence??? Wtf this is such a stupid thread but whatever POST THOUGHTS BELOW (I just read this post through and I sound like I'm literally 12 years old..)

  2. #2
    cozycandyfly

    Default

    I can somewhat relate, I have aspergers and have noticed that I'm more of a "acquaintance*, I'm constantly left out of groups, No one is willing to start a conversation with me, and people will accuse me of "always talking to them" even if i say HI to them out of the blue.

    I'm way above average when it comes to intelligence, I'm a logical thinker and think outside of the box, so called friends assume I'm "stupid" simply because they don't agree with something, or have no clue what I'm on about, My intelligence is always underestimated and one of my friends who happens to only know a little bit about computers and does web programming is praised as some kind of genius, while no one even bothers with me, they see something I spend weeks on, they couldn't even care.

    I have really good long term memory, I can remember lots about a person and gather a lot of information about other people around me, No I'm not a stalker, I just happen to be in my own little world and "absorb" everything everyone talks abut, just like a diaper jks

    There was this one time where I was sad because I lost two family members, Not at the same time or anything, just in the holidays, they asked me why I was upset, I'm like I lost a family member that's why, there there like I'm lying... why would I even bother to lie about something like that.

    People always assume I'm lying because I can't give eye contact, while another person Is lying like crazy is treated like they aren't lying.

    People only talk to me, when they are

    1. Going to abuse me
    2. Going to use me or
    3. They are genuinely my friends. (which is hard to tell)

    I have a few friends who are genuine friends, but even then I'm a bit paranoid because of the simple fact of how society has treated me in the past.

    And people wonder why I have anxiety / depression ahaha.


    last and not least, somehow no matter what I'm always treated like I'm the wrong one, I get treated like crap, Its my fault, not theres, and everyone else sees it as that way too, I get backstabbed too, I tell something to one person, they tell the person, ect.
    this is just a random jot down of my thoughts, sorry if it seems a bit too "boring"

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by cozycandyfly View Post
    I can somewhat relate, I have aspergers and have noticed that I'm more of a "acquaintance*, I'm constantly left out of groups, No one is willing to start a conversation with me, and people will accuse me of "always talking to them" even if i say HI to them out of the blue.

    I'm way above average when it comes to intelligence, I'm a logical thinker and think outside of the box, so called friends assume I'm "stupid" simply because they don't agree with something, or have no clue what I'm on about, My intelligence is always underestimated and one of my friends who happens to only know a little bit about computers and does web programming is praised as some kind of genius, while no one even bothers with me, they see something I spend weeks on, they couldn't even care.

    I have really good long term memory, I can remember lots about a person and gather a lot of information about other people around me, No I'm not a stalker, I just happen to be in my own little world and "absorb" everything everyone talks abut, just like a diaper jks

    There was this one time where I was sad because I lost two family members, Not at the same time or anything, just in the holidays, they asked me why I was upset, I'm like I lost a family member that's why, there there like I'm lying... why would I even bother to lie about something like that.

    People always assume I'm lying because I can't give eye contact, while another person Is lying like crazy is treated like they aren't lying.

    People only talk to me, when they are

    1. Going to abuse me
    2. Going to use me or
    3. They are genuinely my friends. (which is hard to tell)

    I have a few friends who are genuine friends, but even then I'm a bit paranoid because of the simple fact of how society has treated me in the past.

    And people wonder why I have anxiety / depression ahaha.


    last and not least, somehow no matter what I'm always treated like I'm the wrong one, I get treated like crap, Its my fault, not theres, and everyone else sees it as that way too, I get backstabbed too, I tell something to one person, they tell the person, ect.
    this is just a random jot down of my thoughts, sorry if it seems a bit too "boring"
    Nothing of word boring. Really not. I've sometimes problems of the same class. But I didn't know nothing about I can be Asperger untill 2009 or 2010. I'm not 100% sure, but 85% of my thoughts pointing there. Some kind of problems like eye contact can be corrected. And about friends... Holy crap, same like yourself. That really sucks - I gave oportunity to be friend of anybody interesed, but mostly I discover those people as ignorant and stupid parasits. Worse, I realized some study of psycholgy and sometimes I aply it. That sucks too, because I've IQ about 130 and memory like elephant and very perfecionist.

    Sometimes I get some paranoid or deprimed, especially when I thing I've done something wrong.

    So what ? Enjoy my life... All we can enjoy. Nobody is perfect.

  4. #4

    Default

    I have been through the same experience, most of my life. People are very fickle and can blow hot and cold. One moment, you are flavor of the month, then the next, you are dropped when someone new comes along. I went through this my entire childhood and now find it very difficult to make friends and trust people.
    Late last year, a so called friend dumped me and what hurt the most, was that I did everything for this friend, as she had medical problems. I was her emotional crutch and she basically ended up using and abusing me. Now I no longer have anything to do with her and am alone. I do speak to people in the street, if they say hello, but there is never any friendship extended.
    Mostly I keep to myself(not because I am anti-social) because then i can't get hurt, emotionally anymore. Yes, it is a lonely exsitence, but I have my poetry writing and some pen friends in other countries who I have contact with, which is nice.
    Keep those friends who are true friends, and if, they are true friends, they will stick by you through thick and thin.
    As for getting backstabbed, this happened to me too. Just put it behind you and carry on, stay with your true friends and don't worry about those others. Life is too short to worry or become over anxious over something that is not your fault.

  5. #5

    Default

    My opinion, try and find some munches in your area or groups/events with similar hobbies and try to make some new friends. Easier said then done, I know, I'm awful at making friends haha but can't hurt to try? *shrugs*

    I wouldn't just ditch the current friends all together, in part because well what I said above (going to take time/be hard making new friends, better to have some then none while doing it). It doesn't sound like they hate you, otherwise would think they'd never hang out, no matter what, but still can do better. Clearly what they want in the relationship (friendships are relationships) is different, and doubt it will change anytime soon.

    But yeah, find a group you relate with or look into munches, etc. Groups make it a lot easier to meet new people then trying to do it through online or just random chance, and being based around a common interests should give a good start then hoping someone shares similar interests.

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Milko View Post
    Why am I writing this? I dunno but I my friends are really annoying me at the moment. Like, pretty much all the time now everyone is just constantly ditching me and abandoning me during school. They disengage me from conversations and never want to talk to me.

    I'm always just a last resort for them when all of their better friends are off doing something. Like, they'll hang out with me sometimes but as soon as they see someone else, I just seem to disappear from their minds.

    AHH Is it too much to ask to have friends who actually want to acknowledge my existence??? Wtf this is such a stupid thread but whatever POST THOUGHTS BELOW (I just read this post through and I sound like I'm literally 12 years old..)


    Quote Originally Posted by cozycandyfly View Post
    I can somewhat relate, I have aspergers and have noticed that I'm more of a "acquaintance*, I'm constantly left out of groups, No one is willing to start a conversation with me, and people will accuse me of "always talking to them" even if i say HI to them out of the blue.

    I'm way above average when it comes to intelligence, I'm a logical thinker and think outside of the box, so called friends assume I'm "stupid" simply because they don't agree with something, or have no clue what I'm on about, My intelligence is always underestimated and one of my friends who happens to only know a little bit about computers and does web programming is praised as some kind of genius, while no one even bothers with me, they see something I spend weeks on, they couldn't even care.

    I have really good long term memory, I can remember lots about a person and gather a lot of information about other people around me, No I'm not a stalker, I just happen to be in my own little world and "absorb" everything everyone talks abut, just like a diaper jks

    There was this one time where I was sad because I lost two family members, Not at the same time or anything, just in the holidays, they asked me why I was upset, I'm like I lost a family member that's why, there there like I'm lying... why would I even bother to lie about something like that.

    People always assume I'm lying because I can't give eye contact, while another person Is lying like crazy is treated like they aren't lying.

    People only talk to me, when they are

    1. Going to abuse me
    2. Going to use me or
    3. They are genuinely my friends. (which is hard to tell)

    I have a few friends who are genuine friends, but even then I'm a bit paranoid because of the simple fact of how society has treated me in the past.

    And people wonder why I have anxiety / depression ahaha.


    last and not least, somehow no matter what I'm always treated like I'm the wrong one, I get treated like crap, Its my fault, not theres, and everyone else sees it as that way too, I get backstabbed too, I tell something to one person, they tell the person, ect.
    this is just a random jot down of my thoughts, sorry if it seems a bit too "boring"
    I can relate and I am sorry about that, In high school no one invited me anywhere (although I though I was more popular then I was really.) Also I have asbergers too and I can so relate to the diaper thing. But I digress, I thought outside the box a lot like you cosycandyfly, and that is true and to be honest I would say I was alone most of the time, but still I did have a lot of aquences and I managed to get through where I am, to be honest I think you will get through your situtulation and into a brighter place, and if it helps I will prey for you Milko

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Milko View Post
    (I just read this post through and I sound like I'm literally 12 years old..)
    Do Not Worry about it Milko
    I am feeling very jaded about "my friends" and everything that has been going on this past week or so, I understand and I do hope things get better for you.

    The term everybody is talking about: "The Backup Friend" Ya I know it to well,

    Its seems I've only ever had 2 or 3 good friends at a time, the rest were either friends of family, friends of friends or just acquaintances.
    I tied my "friend gauge" to my phone, lol.
    If I don't have your number, only a work number, or do have it, just because, but really never call/txt you, or gotten one from you = acquaintance.
    I have your number, we do talk/text, but its more me contacting you then you me = I'm the Backup Friend to you. Sure we may hang out and like each other but I am not in your core group of friends you regularly "do things with".
    These are people you almost never see or hangout with alone but only in a group.
    Have just the two of you ever had coffee, lunch, dinner, seen a movie? No?
    The "I'm bored... wanna hang out" call/txt doesn't count because = All my "actual" friends are busy and i don't feel like sitting home or going out alone, So Hey! lets get something to eat.
    Talking with them, Na I don't feel like going out, Oh I got another call hold on...... That was Susie, or worse yet - That was my friend Susie can I call you back later? An hour later post to FB, "Enjoying drinks with Susie". Ya! you are Sooooo the Backup Friend.

    Do we talk/txt? - Do you actually call/txt me?
    Can we call/txt each other whenever? Like 1am without feeling guilty?
    Have they ever been the first or last person you talked to that day?
    Have we actually just hung out together, alone?
    Have you been to my place? Ever sleep over?
    Have I ever been to your place? Sleep over? (not including we all shared a cab and crashed at your place because it was the closest) lol

    Well if you can answer YES to all, or at least most of these then Ya! You have a real honest good friend on your hands!

    Bonus questions!
    Have you ever done some seriously shading shit with this person?
    Is this persons number higher on the speed dial then some family?
    Is it no big deal if you fall asleep in front of each other, or on top of them? lol
    Have slept in each others bed, together, without being drunk, or fully clothed?
    Do your pets no longer react to them, or treat them like you when they see them?
    Do you have "secrets" or have shared embarrassing stories with them?
    Have either of you gone to the others holiday family dinners?

    Ya? Really! COOL - Meet your BFF! In case you already didn't know that, lol.

    Friendship does and can seriously SUCK!
    Its sometimes not easy, can be really hard on you, make you cry. It can break your heart!
    But sometimes its all worth it when you find that person above.

    PS: another kind of friend - The life long friend.
    You know that one person that you donn't always see or talk to sometimes for months or even years? But when you do, it feels like you've never been apart.

  8. #8

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    With me having Asperger's Syndrome and Cerebral Palsy having friendships with others is difficult.
    I have been hurt too many times by others who really pretend to be my friend, but end-up betraying
    me in the end.

  9. #9
    cozycandyfly

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by caitianx View Post
    With me having Asperger's Syndrome and Cerebral Palsy having friendships with others is difficult.
    I have been hurt too many times by others who really pretend to be my friend, but end-up betraying
    me in the end.
    :/ yeah I can relate, it sucks when people betray you, those type of people shouldn't exist, because there just butt heads ahaha.

    You have Cerebral Palsy? aww poor thing, how bad is it? I'm aware that It can very depending on the person, what type do you have if you don't mind me asking? *virtual friendly hug*.

    I can relate to the aspergers part, It absolutely sucks, I wish I was normal, but then again some people have it even worse of them me, so i kind of accept it.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by cozycandyfly View Post
    :/ yeah I can relate, it sucks when people betray you, those type of people shouldn't exist, because there just butt heads ahaha.

    You have Cerebral Palsy? aww poor thing, how bad is it? I'm aware that It can very depending on the person, what type do you have if you don't mind me asking? *virtual friendly hug*.

    I can relate to the aspergers part, It absolutely sucks, I wish I was normal, but then again some people have it even worse of them me, so i kind of accept it.
    My form of Cerebral Palsy is mild and affects my legs.
    I wear stainless steel/plastic AFO leg braces and I use forearm crutches.

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