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Thread: How do You React to Hate?

  1. #1

    Default How do You React to Hate?

    Mainly AB/DL related hate, (things like youtube comments or on other websites, negative comments from people in public etc.).

    For me, I normally just try to ignore it but it does make me kinda angry, especially when people make stupid generalisations or assumptions. But I never respond to it since I don't want to feed haters the reactions they want.

  2. #2

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    I usually don't react to it - usually I just roll my eyes and move on. It's not a big deal to me, I guess, because it doesn't really affect my life outside of one moment of 'ugh'. I don't care that much what complete strangers think of me. It would only bother me if someone I cared about felt that way because then it would be more personal. If someone I didn't know that well made disparaging remarks about ABDLs, I'd probably ask why they cared so much or state that it sounded like a harmless kink.

    People in general disliking the thought of ABDLs is kinda 'meh' to me because it's not like it has any legal or real life repercussions for me. I get much more upset over people disliking gay, trans, etc. people, because I think that has a lot more potential for harm.

  3. #3

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    I try very hard to be empathetic to a point. If it's someone who directly seems uncomfortable with it in like.. a conversation with me, I try to engage with them. I try to find out what's bothering them about it, and help set any records straight or help people understand. To a point. There is a point where sometimes you just have to eject yourself for your own happiness. Especially if it seems like a losing battle. It just helps me feel better to try.

    Pretty much in the same way I respond to hate about being trans, but more frequently and with honestly better results usually.

  4. #4

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    I would ignore it and pretend that the person didn't say anything. Usually the person is trying to provoke a response and if you react to them, you have lost half the battle. Also, by keeping quiet you have a much lower chance of saying something wrong. One wrong phrase could either get you in trouble, or provoke the person further.

    For myself, I usually stick to the above principle, unless they start to attack my family. It is ok to attack me. But it is not okay to attack my loved ones.

  5. #5

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    It depends heavily on the context. I'm not going to write an essay in a YouTube comment, nor insult someone that I think has genuine curiosity or confusion.

    In general, I take the following steps.

    1. Do I have time to deal with the person. If not, I'm finished.

    2. Is the location of the speech appropriate for discussion?

    3. Does the speaker appear to be invested in the conversation? This is a big one. If the comment was one and done, there's no ping discussing. They need to be open to talking, which you can figure out from how they posted.

    4. If 1-3 let me keep going, I'll try to address the speaker's concerns. For me, that means investigating why the person is upset and trying to logically and ethically convince the person that they should see ABDL in a different way.

    5. I generally approach activities from a moral standpoint that activities that give someone joy without causing harm to others are, at worst, morally neutral. They've never wrong or evil. That's a viewpoint I try to spread and convince people to accept.

  6. #6

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    I don't really care unless it's someone who is a advocate. But other than that, I have no respect for anyone who is a AB/DLphobic. My ex was one and well my mistake so that is why I hate anyone who is and has my ex's attitude or who reminds me of such. It's easy to ignore and not care if they are just random people but if they are certain people, then I care.

  7. #7

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    I try not to care but inside I'm super sensitive and have a hard time getting over negative comments about my personality. If people give me strange looks, I dont care, but if they verbally confront me with their negativity then I get really sad.

    Good thread

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by ArchieRoni View Post
    It depends heavily on the context. I'm not going to write an essay in a YouTube comment, nor insult someone that I think has genuine curiosity or confusion.

    In general, I take the following steps.

    1. Do I have time to deal with the person. If not, I'm finished.

    2. Is the location of the speech appropriate for discussion?

    3. Does the speaker appear to be invested in the conversation? This is a big one. If the comment was one and done, there's no ping discussing. They need to be open to talking, which you can figure out from how they posted.

    4. If 1-3 let me keep going, I'll try to address the speaker's concerns. For me, that means investigating why the person is upset and trying to logically and ethically convince the person that they should see ABDL in a different way.

    5. I generally approach activities from a moral standpoint that activities that give someone joy without causing harm to others are, at worst, morally neutral. They've never wrong or evil. That's a viewpoint I try to spread and convince people to accept.
    These Points are very on par. One of the big things that I could see being important is that one speculates how the person will react. If one seems far too bigoted for a conversation to even continue, whats the point of beginning a conversation on ABDL in the first place?

  9. #9

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    Most of the time if they try and make fun or hate I laugh at them and then get under their skin until they are the ones who are angry and they are the losers but always make sure presumptions are corrected in the process.

  10. #10

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    Have you ever had to put these viewpoints into play in person? I never have, and probably will never (in person) have to.
    I think once I wanted to write a YouTube reply to someone with a big huge anti-ABDL argument, but I was, at the time, sharing a computer with my roommate, so I didn't want him to stumble upon my user account history.

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