Going to try to answer your questions in a more typical way, excuse the answers. ♥
1. Why am I an AB/DL?
Because it makes you happy? I certainly hope so. I think that's why.. I mean, I think that's the reason that counts? The guilt is hard.. but you aren't doing anything wrong. You're just finding things that make you happy..
2. Am I trans?
Do you want to be? The only one who can answer this question truly is you. ♥ If you want to be, you are. If you don't.. you aren't. At least for now.
3. Why do I feel like I'm supposed to be a girl?
This is probably the most complicated of your questions. Some people theorize that girls like me.. we were born with something that biologically caused our brains to be 'female' and not match our bodies. If that's true, maybe the same is with you.. but ultimately I wouldn't let that sort of thing affect you so much. I wouldn't worry so much about the why's and I would just search through your feelings right now. Being feminine is nice.. but you mentioned specifically you don't mind being male. You say that presenting yourself feminine makes you feel more you though... so that's the best start. Maybe you are somewhere in between with genders. Maybe you are a trans woman. Maybe you are a man who enjoys feminine things and presenting feminine! There possibles are numerous and the only one who can decide who you are.. is you. Whatever decision you make is going to be a good one though.
4. Why am I having a hard time accepting me as me?
I know the feeling.. and I think we all do. I can't speak for you, but for me.. it always mostly came from a worry that people wouldn't accept me or love me anymore. I would convince myself I was just bothering people.. but being yourself isn't a bother. It isn't going to ruin anyone's day. The only day this stuff affects is yours. The only person's days that are getting ruined are yours. So you have to find yourself and you should love who you are.. because life is too short to spend it living a life that isn't really yours. There are lots of reasons for the gulit thing, but I think ultimately one of the most important things to remember is that this is YOUR life, YOUR body, and YOURself. It's alright to be 'selfish'..
Why is it at times, I feel blank, and have no clue who I am?
It happens to a lot of us as well. I remember those feelings I always described as feeling numb. Again, I can only speak for me.. but when I was discovering a lot about myself there was just times that I was feeling things so strongly ALL THE TIME and running through all these complex and confusing thoughts that I just needed to turn myself off once in a while. Well that's at least part of it.. but also I kinda felt the need to turn myself off because I kept telling myself that the world would be happier if I just stopped with all these feelings and sort of let myself be what everyone wanted.. and it's not a happy feeling.
But the main thing I wanted to say was that it's okay. It's okay to be an AB/DL or not. It's okay to be trans.. or not. It's okay to feel like a girl, or not! It's okay to have self doubt, or feel blank sometimes. Take your time cozycandyfly. Give yourself what it needs. Find what makes you happy. I find personally that sometimes we want to know why we became this way mostly as a way of relieving guilt or blame for our decisions. The feeling that it's okay to be an AB/DL or trans if you scientifically couldn't help being so. I think it's okay to be those things in any capacity.. even if there is no "reason" for being so.