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Thread: Introverted? Extroverted???

  1. #1

    Default Introverted? Extroverted???

    Okay so I used to be a VERY extroverted person. I loved people, loved hanging out with people, partying and what not. I had a very vibrant personality. But the older I get the more of a homebody I have become. I avoid parties and social gatherings, I get embarrassed easily, I don't even eat in slightly crowded restaurants. I have gained some quite a bit of weight... Which I know causes me to not want to be around people much. I'm embarrassed but I am really trying to get rid of the weight.

    But I've just become so boring. And I miss my old life and how happy I was when I was 14-17.

    Any advice on how to regain control over my life, get back to a happy stage, and be a more extroverted.

    I need some help.

  2. #2


    Alright, while I can't straight out answer this question, I can input something or another..

    I'm an extrovert. I love being around people.

    Having said that, I will now say that I spend the majority of my time alone in my room online. I suppose I compensate being alone with being online, which is still communicating with someone for the most part. Otherwise, I'll deliberately avoid parties that I'm invited to, I'll decline from going out in public, etc.

    If I'm an extrovert, why do I do this? I'm too scared. I have major social anxiety and it freaks me out to be around more than two people at a time, unless I know them all very well. (I'm only ever truly comfortable with three-five people anyway). So, in response to your thread title. There's no question about you being introverted or extroverted. If you want to be out with people, you're extroverted.

    Now, to try to help you with the question posed in your OP:

    The first thing that I would say is to continue trying to lose weight. Don't get me wrong, as long as you're within the healthy range for your age and height, you aren't overweight. But if you're unhappy with your weight, then I suggest you continue to work on losing some, within reason. Also, go slowly. Go out with a friend every once in awhile, maybe see a movie. Then move on to going out with two or three friends - bowling or something. Once you're comfortable with that, see if you're willing to go to a party or two.

    Just reintroduce yourself to all the old stuff you used to love. That love is still there, so it's not like you'll hate the activities now that you get embarrassed more easily.

  3. #3


    For the longest time, I was an introvert. And for that matter, I mostly still am. That said, I've become much more outgoing than I ever was in the past and much more outspoken. I found that it was complacency that drove my avoiding social situations in the past. It was just easier to stay at home, and I never wanted for entertainment. The thing to do is, and this is what I did, is just start going out again. If you're nervous about going out, that's ok. If you're nervous to the point of phobic, I'd talk to a counselor. But short of that, just go out, and I promise you'll remember how fun it always was and that no one is judging you.

  4. #4


    i'm the most extroverted introvert you'll ever meet. even though i'm intensely introverted, and need to spend long stretches of time alone to feel okay, i try to keep it to an absolute minimum. even though getting out and being sociable doesn't come naturally to me, i make an effort to be as friendly and outgoing as i can, and i work hard on developing my social skills.

    being sociable takes self-confidence. hello kitty, i would say that lack of self-confidence is a much bigger problem for you, socially, than your weight. by all means keep striving toward a more healthy weight, but don't take it for granted that being thin will automatically solve your problem. you should be working equally hard to feel happy with who you are.

    one of the most friendly, sociable people i know is quite overweight. it doesn't effect her self-confidence at all: she's a kind, warm-hearted, beautiful, funny, boisterous person, who always gives me a huge voluptuous hug every time she sees me, who knows that all of her friends adore her and that she deserves to be adored. being overweight doesn't have to make you shy or ashamed of yourself. if you're ashamed it's because that's how you've decided to feel, not because of your weight.

  5. #5


    Extrovert. Always have been. Doesn't mean I don't like my time alone, though.

    I cant stand situations where I'm with a big group of people who know eachother well, but I don't know any of them. But i don't think anyone likes those situations.

  6. #6


    I'm hugely introverted, but even I still can get out there an be social if the situation calls for it. It probably adds to my aura anyway, which oddly enough makes people seem to enjoy having me around, despite being quiet, reserved, and a bit nonsensical at times. I prefer to not go out of my way to bother people and chat with them, but if they instigate it I'll usually have no problem carrying it on.

    Hello_Kitty, I don't think anything has changed about you other than the way you feel about yourself and the way you perceive yourself. Fact is, you're still the same person your friends admired and if you keep that attitude up, they'll still continue being your friends, no matter how you look. I think true friends attach themselves to personality, not appearance.

    But consider all this a great opportunity to become closer to them. Why not explain to them how you've been feeling lately and see if they can help you? You can get out of this rut yourself, but it's a lot easier when you have someone there helping to pull you out as well. Putting your trust in them can have profound positive consequences on your relationship with them.

    People hit rough patches all the time, one's where they question their own self and their own feelings and it's rather apparent you're in one of these. Understand though that times change, and all the fun you had when you were 14-17 isn't going to happen once you've grown up a bit. Life suddenly becomes a lot more serious and you're expected to follow suit, even if that does mean sacrificing a bit of social free time.

  7. #7


    I found this article quite informative on the subject:

    Caring for Your Introvert - The Atlantic (March 2003)

    I manage fine socially, although better in smaller groups than larger ones, but it's all tiring stuff. That doesn't mean I don't have a good time, but "recharging" with alone time is pretty important for my balance.

    Whether introvert or extrovert, you can function just fine socially, it's just a question of what it does for you. If you're feeling isolated and alone, this falls outside of just being an introvert in my opinion.

  8. #8


    I would consider myself introverted, but not strongly. I love hanging out with people, but I generally find it tiring (with the exception of my best friend) and can only really relax and recharge my batteries when I'm alone. That being said, too much alone time makes me feel a little lonely, so I require an intricate balance between people and alone time to function.

  9. #9


    Join Weight Watchers or something?

    I know that sounds mean, but I don't mean it like that at all. Basically - find some common ground with people to share and hang out with. If you're having weight issues - join a gym, or go jogging with friends who have the same issues. That way you're working on your problem and you're having that social interaction.

    I've noticed with myself, that when I don't have to have any social interaction I just continue to fold into myself until I end up miserable. I'd imagine when you were 14-17 you were going to school... and now you might not have any commitments that you *have* to do? Try placing yourself in a program that you can commit yourself too. Do you have any youth groups around, or maybe a place you could volunteer your time? If you involve yourself in things that require your presence, then it kinda gets the ball rolling, and you'll have more energy - you'll have more social commitments, and in turn might start wanting to go out more to be with your friends - make new ones, etc...

    I could be way off, but it was worth a shot.

    As for me, avery put it quite nicely. I'm an introvert who kinda just pretends to be an extrovert. I force myself to hang out with others, and it seems I need to do that. Also, the more social interaction I get, the more I want. I'm weird that way. I do value my alone time, and guard my privacy with my life.

    I'm not a person who could be around others constantly - but I need to be around others sometimes - because if I'm not I end up crashing.

  10. #10


    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
    I found this article quite informative on the subject:

    Caring for Your Introvert - The Atlantic (March 2003)
    This was definitely enlightening. Now I know what's up with some people I know who I can barely get talking about themselves - and I love listening to people talking about themselves nearly as much as I like talking about myself...

    Another thing the article led me to conclude is that probably an introvert person feels terribly uncomfortable, not to say scared, when I'm being too introspective into him/her. But this leads me to a question:

    "I'm an introvert. You are a wonderful person and I like you. But now please shush."
    Ok, I put a piece of duct-tape on my mouth for the sake of not ruining our friendship, but now what? How do I communicate? Or silent appreciation is the only thing that can work with an introvert?

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