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Thread: Too much, too soon. Help pls

  1. #1

    Default Too much, too soon. Help pls

    Hello, Long time reader, new member, first post. So here goes. As for a when and how as I became a dl, I can't pin that down. After many bing and purge cycles, and the depressive shameful mood that followed, I came to terms with my dl side. It is not a sexuall thing, although it has, and I have used for that. I think that it is the comfort and security that drives me to wear. I have tryed to use them for thier intended propose, not my thing.
    As life moves on you find a mate, start a family and move along with life. So after much reading I decided to fess up to my love about my tendencies to wear diapers. After deciding to be honest I planned my spiel, only to be side tracked when I mentioned that we needed to chat. Now that it was in the open, she had many questions, all of which I tryed to answer.
    So with things out now, I felt a little better. That evening after much dissucusion the wife went to bed early. With a house full of chores, and the big kid out for the night and the little one down for the night, I decided to stay up late. Since I was going to be up for a while why not wear? I could sneek intO bed later on. I did diaper up and did sneek into bed. I had not thought about being found out and the repercussions, thankfully I wasn't. The next day was rather quiet as the wife mulled over the news that gave her last night, through out the day there were many questions. That evening we had a longer chat and I asked if I may be allowed to wear. She said why not. Well we both went to bed together dad diapered up with pjays on and mom with pjays also. Then in bed together, we cuddled(bad idea) me in my diaper and slightly arosed, cuddling with my girl well things got out of hand fast. We were grinding and the like, I mentioned that I may have cum, she said what about my turn, so I went down town, usually this does trick, but with me in a diaper and a little one waking up things died out fast. I awoke to tend to baby and then went back to bed. The next morning and several days after she was very quiet. We have since talked, and set up some basic guide lines. But I would like to know will there be acceptance eventully? Would I be out of line to say that when she is on her period that I may wear, as we like to have a spontaious sex life. And would a good quality cloth diaper be something to look into? Will keep y'all posted
    Last edited by Builderdad31; 12-Apr-2015 at 12:45. Reason: Repeat

  2. #2


    I would have to say that the best way to go about all this is to just take your time and let things slowly bubble forth and produce. It appears as if your wife is still having lots of thoughts about it, so don't rush her. Let her think and absorb in her own fashion.

    By the way, welcome to the group!!

  3. #3


    Good for you bursting the bubble. Things may be kinda weird for quite a while, but just persevere with it and show her the respect she deserves and you'll be ok. Slow and steady ahead. A cloth diaper is always a good standby, and quite comfy to sleep in.

  4. #4


    LOTS of time, as in years, that is what it takes for a partner not really into it.

  5. #5


    Like others have said, don't rush and give her space and respect on this.

  6. #6


    It sounds like that there is a lot about your DL side that you still have yet to explore and understand. I mean, from my opinion and observation of everybody here, usually wearing diapers is more than just something different to wear(granted, the feeling of wearing it does bring a feeling of safety and security, so maybe that really is all it means to you), I just suspect that there is a little bit more to it that you enjoy than you admit. I'm not saying that you should go and force yourself to try out different ab/dl things and see how you like them, but what I would suggest you do, is have a talk with your wife, and say something to the effect of, "*wife* I feel like I upset you when I was wearing a diaper last night in bed, and that I might have needed to be more specific about when I was going to wear one. The fact that it was involved in our sexual play wasn't expected, and so I hadn't planned on talking to you about that. I still am trying to learn what wearing diapers means to me, because in the past I had repressed it so much out of self embarrassment and shame. I'd like to work on having boundaries that you feel comfortable with about when it is not going to be a problem for me to wear."

    What kind of things were you thinking that made you go through your binge and purge cycles? Usually that kind of thing happens most from having a sexual connection with diapers, at least that is how it was for me, and what I have kind of seen from others, i think, or I was just dreaming. I don't want to plant the idea in your head that maybe diapers are sexual for you, but I think it is worth contemplating and considering that maybe it is a bit more than you thought, especially when apparently you enjoyed your time with your wife while you had one on, or maybe it was just circumstantial that it was on while you were grinding, i don't know. The number one thing is, it isn't bad to feel sexually aroused by diapers, It doesn't make you a creep, and it doesn't make you a pedophile, it just means you have a fetish, and when people take the time to understand it, there isn't anything frightening about it.

  7. #7


    Builderdad31, I can relate completely to your personal feelings of shame and non-acceptance - the binge/purge cycles, etc. I am just now accepting myself as a DL. I am extremely fortunate - I live alone with my kitty, Ebony. She certainly doesn't care if I wear a diaper! LOL :-) I am also very fortunate, because I have a best friend that knows I wear diapers, though I haven't exactly brought up the DL side of me with her just yet. I have a nurse that comes in every afternoon daily, and she has been very supportive about my incontinence care. Finally, I even have a home health aide that comes in every weekday morning. He cleans my apartment, gives me a shower, diapers me, and gets me dressed. I can't say enough about him - he is a Godsend. I am so blessed to have all this support and services in place.

  8. #8


    Builderdad31, you are to be commended for your bravery and honesty in bringing your diaper thing out in the open. GOOD JOB! I agree with the others here that you need to give her time to digest all this. In the mean time, there a few things you can do to help. First, you need to let her know that you two are O.K. In other words, make sure she knows and feels that your diapers are not threatening to your relationship. If she feels secure in the relationship, it will be much easier for her to digest all this. Second, make sure her needs, whether they be emotional or sexual, are met. Third, don't go behind her back to satisfy your diaper needs. This will be seen as selfish - and it truly is, plus it will sow seeds of distrust. My hope is that your relationship will grow deeper and stronger as you two work through this. Hang in there and good luck!

    Check out Changing Times Diaper Company for high quality (the best in my opinion) cloth diapers at reasonable prices.

  9. #9


    Thank you for the advice all. So now the tough questions. With the wife still digesting the info should I try to curtail my wearing?, till she is at least okay with it. As long as I am honest and not going behind her back this may be an amicable situation now. And the other question is, would it be poor form to place an order? I have only ever tryed the depend brand brief and am looking to try some others, I had asked if would be okay to order off the internet as selection in this small town is not good.

  10. #10


    I would at least hold back when it comes to wearing in bed, that apparently is what started the trouble. Maybe you can later, but for now, yeah you should probably hold back a bit. As for diaper purchases, you might be OK ordering some, but I would only buy a package, and not a whole case, cases can be huge, and might be intimidating, you might even want to just start off by buying a sampler pack and then see how she does if she intercepts it in the mail before you get to it. A sampler only comes with two, so that isn't very frightening.

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