Borderline Personality Disorder - Transitional Objects

Hi everyone,

I am new here.

I'm wondering if anyone could share their insights and knowledge about any links between using diapers as transitional objects and having traits / diagnosis of borderline personality disorder.

I have heard there are correlations between the two. Anyone here have borderline personality disorder and use diapers for transitional objects? I know I do.

HD7970GHZ said:

Hi everyone,

I am new here.

I'm wondering if anyone could share their insights and knowledge about any links between using diapers as transitional objects and having traits / diagnosis of borderline personality disorder.

I have heard there are correlations between the two. Anyone here have borderline personality disorder and use diapers for transitional objects? I know I do.

Click to expand...

I can remember going to the movies with my wife and kids, to see, "Girl Interrupted" and getting the shock of my life as I realized how similar I was to her during my four years of college, as well as high school, etc. I would attach myself to one very good friend, and be very upset if I couldn't be with them, for any reason. I cut myself, attempted suicide on several occasions, set our garage on fire, blew things up, stole from stores, and the sad list goes on and on. Eventually my mom sent me to a psychiatrist at a residential mental facility when I was in college. By then I was having a psychotic break. I came home for dinner and started crying. I couldn't stop.

All during this period I craved diapers. I'd wet my underwear, or bed, etc. I also suffered from depression, as well as fixating on certain things. I'm still somewhat like that, but I'm married and have been for a long time. I simply had to decide for myself that I wanted a more normal life. I wanted to live and fit into society.

I'm not sure there is a connection between borderline personality and transitional objects, but I've always been object oriented. For the last 6-7 years I've been writing a novel about haunted houses in a small, isolated haunted community. Objects, especially antiques, play their part in the story. As a child, I collected old things. I bought two pump organs and an old clock. I collected a lot of odd, old things that were my grandmothers, or from the distant past of the family. I have a lot of antiques in our house and I'm very protective of them.

So maybe there's a connection, or a connection for some of us. I should add that I became successful in my work and with my family. I do very well, all things considered. I don't think I was extreme as some, and certainly not as out of control as the main character in Girl Interrupted, a true story. I also have her novel.

How does this affect you?

From my understanding there is very little research that has been done and very little that is being done. Its not something that a researcher or research institution can gain notoriety from. That is not to say there there have been no studies, just very few non focused, its just starting to be looked at. Now there arnt any that tie into personality disorders but there is a study that looks at adult babies and gender identity disorder which one may consider a personality disorder so perhaps its worth a look? Ill post a link here -> http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-011-9783-8#page-1 but if that didn't work because you cant put links just go to Google scholar and search adult baby, searching the term "diaper lover" turns up numerous results, however they are rather unprofessional souses and not from credible research publications. Also i found this link to be exceptionally interesting, it is a case study of an adult baby who wants to be "fixed" and is of the psychologist's findings and postulations. http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/doi/full/10.1176/appi.ajp.160.11.1932

Hope some of this helped

Totally off subject; I was in Girl Interrupted - fun times.

Thank you for the replies people.

I think this is a topic that I would love to learn more about. I am in DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) for my borderline personality disorder - and I told my therapists and treatment team about my diapers and they accepted it fully and even supported it, insofar that it is not detrimental to my well being. My therapist said my interest probably sparks from not being nurtured enough as a child.

I've read there are strong correlations between BPD and transitional objects. I had a pillow case that I couldn't go without and diapers had always been an interest from as far back as I can remember.

There's a part of DBT called self soothing - which ironically - is what I have used diapers for primarily throughout my life. It makes me feel hugged, nurtured and safe... Borderline is in essence a form of trauma and PTSD, so it would make sense that I use them for comfort or to mimic the kind of support that I lacked in early childhood from my primary caregivers... I am hoping to delve into my trauma someday and learn more about this diaper fascination I have. At this time I am 110% certain it is directly related to my Borderline diagnosis.

I also know that I regress when I am stressed. My urges to throw on a diaper are linked to my stress levels - even on a subconscious level. I start to dream about wearing and wetting diapers when my life is out of control. I think of myself as a little kid and sometimes my voice even changes to a more submissive tone when I am around others. I know this happens more often when I am wearing diapers a lot - so I have to be careful not to indulge too often as I feel it regresses me further.

If anyone wants to know - I have an official diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, Avoidant Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality Disorder and definitely Depression and Anxiety.

Hey guys and gals,

An update. I told my therapist about my wearing diapers and wanting and feeling like a little kid. She said it sounds like my trauma issues stem from an early age and that I have associated diapers with that stage in my life... I will keep everyone up to date with what we discover. I asked my therapist if she would be comfortable if I wore diapers to therapy sessions and she said yes, as long as I don't NEED to wear them in order to attend, and as long as I tell her when I wear them. She is curious about it.

I think this all has to do with my borderline diagnosis - and I am VERY interested and excited to delve into the connection. Hopefully we can find out some answers. I know I try to find a mother figure in every female therapist that I see and I quickly become attached - especially to those whom fulfill my needs in some way. One therapist recently talked to me in a very motherly tone and I was immediately attached to her... I know this is all connected.

Good for you having the courage to tell the truth. I'm sure happy things will come from this.

Layne0033 said:

Totally off subject; I was in Girl Interrupted - fun times.

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What part did you play?

I suppose getting attached to your therapist is part of being Borderline. Anyway, I'm glad that she accepted the diapers and that you're making headway.

Thanks for replies.

Yeah I've been borderline for years. I've been in and out of hospital 3 times since January... Just hit rock bottom for sure, so my diaper regression urges are increasing dramatically. I love this part of me but it took years to stop binge and purge cycles and just keep diapers around for when I need them.

I understand you suffer from borderline Dogboy? Did you ever try DBT?

Have you gone to therapy for this? I could use some insight about your experiences and perhaps your opinion on whether your diaper interests also stem from these themes or from trauma. Do you get attached to people easily?

HD7970GHZ said:

Thanks for replies.

Yeah I've been borderline for years. I've been in and out of hospital 3 times since January... Just hit rock bottom for sure, so my diaper regression urges are increasing dramatically. I love this part of me but it took years to stop binge and purge cycles and just keep diapers around for when I need them.

I understand you suffer from borderline Dogboy? Did you ever try DBT?

Have you gone to therapy for this? I could use some insight about your experiences and perhaps your opinion on whether your diaper interests also stem from these themes or from trauma. Do you get attached to people easily?

Click to expand...

Thanks for your reply. Yes, I had a psychiatrist when I was in college. I really had a rough time adjusting to being away from home, on my own and separated from my high school friend. I bonded with another guy, but he distanced himself from me our sophomore year. As a result, I became very self destructive and that continued until we got together again my junior year.

I think my attraction to diapers may be caused by early childhood trauma. I was adopted at the age of two, and I think I spent some time in an adoptive agency/orphanage. I remember having two teddy bears, one that was new and the other that was quite ragged. I suspect the ragged teddy was something that was given to me at the orphanage and it came with me when my adoptive parents took possession of me. They were good and kind people, but who knows what happened to me the first two years of my life?

I do remember when I was four, I was acting like a baby, saying dah dah over and over again with my mom asking me to stop and to act like a big boy. I continued and finally she said that if I didn't stop, she'd put me back into diapers. It was then that I realized I really wanted to be in diapers. I stopped though, because they were having company that night, and I didn't want to be embarrassed. This memory is still very vivid, so there most have been a reason for my remembering it.

I have always attached to certain objects. I love antiques and I have a lot of things that belonged to my grandparents, my parents and my aunt and uncle. I love very old things because I feel the souls of the people who once had them. At least I feel that way.

I think I solved my Borderline problems by marrying. I'm very close to my wife and very protective of her. She's diabetic, is on kidney dialysis which we do ourselves at home, and recently she had to have her right leg amputated below the knee. I take care of her and make life as livable for her as possible. Statistically I will outlive her, and then I really don't know what I'll do. I try not to think about the future, but take one day at a time. I'm grateful for the good days we have together. I think everyone should be glad for the good days they have, because there will always be bad days. It's just how life is. I really do have a lot going for me because we have adult children and they are an important part of our lives. It could be a lot worse.

I hope things are improving for you?

I was actually one of the teachers

I strongly suspect I have BPD although I've yet to receive a formal diagnosis. I've met a few other littles who have it and it seem to be a common theme that people with the PD are 'childlike', I've read a lot about/from other people with BPD saying they 'feel like a child inside'.

Having discovered this about myself I now realize there is a big connection for me, personally, between having BPD and being a little. The extreme, volatile emotions, the splitting/black and white thinking, the worries about abandonment, etc. etc... But I don't think diapers themselves are any kind of 'transitional object' for me, sorry. I /do/ have a few comfort objects from my childhood, the most notable being my doll, Purple Person, who's now 20 years old. If anything, the fact I wear diapers now has more to do with the 'unstable identity' aspect of BPD than anything else for me, I think.

I was diagnosed with BPD ten years ago, but I don't think it has anything to do with my being a little. But I've also discussed with my GP and a psychologist that I am not the kind of person that needs a reason behind everything and I just accept that some things are just a part of who I am and that I don't want to feel like my entire life is shaped around my illness. But then plenty of psychologists would disagree with this, there really is no one right answer with psychology.

I am not sure, but there is a website:
www.toddlertime.com
The individual who created it is transgender and AB.

I'm finding this topic very interesting. Its a discussion of deep thought that brought me here in the first place. To see if others feel similar to how I feel. I guess the first emotion we feel when 1st experiencing urges to wear diapers or act babyish is that we are all alone and no one else would or could feel like we do.

There was mention of when stressed out a regressive mental state grew stronger within you. That is one parallel that I share. My parents fought a lot when I was very young. I didn't even know what fighting was as I was so young back then. But reflecting on it I believe that it sparked internal stress within. The beginning seed perhaps of running away from negative emotional situations. Its interesting but makes sense to me that if you could mentally escape a negative situation, how would you achieve that. Perhaps on a subconscious level regressing to a point where deep understanding of the situation around you starts not to make sense becomes your safe place. When your really young 3-5 and you need to escape, your only options are Infantile. That means out of potty training and out of being responsible for your actions.

If Sigmund Freud were around today he may have a field day with someone like me.

I'm also Transgender. From male to female. This aspect of my life didn't materialize until I started puberty. This required therapy and at that point I perhaps should have sought out a psychiatrist also for the combination of my ABDL side and transgendered side looking for a correlation.

The one thing that I have found is that their are "Trigger words" that always seems to send me into urges for being babied and wearing diapers. "Baby", "little girl", "Little baby", "Baby girl" These are some of the phrases that I would call the triggers for my transitional objects that would be diaper wearing.

Its an interesting theory I have on all this but I'm no therapist just someone trying to explore answers.
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