Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: how do i

  1. #1

    Default how do i

    so guys i think i might be more ABDL the just DL cause every time i go to buy some more nappies i always find my self looking at Adult Short Onesie and binkies i told my wife and she was like no its weird lol

    this one to be more precise http://cdn2.bigcommerce.com/server38...0.1280.jpg?c=2

    my wife knows i like to wear nappies now and well i try every now and then and ask if she wants to put a nappy on me she always says no, but i don't ask often, i figured if i ask every couple of months maybe she might 1 day, but she is really like its weird and she she its too weird for her and yeah i can understand it weird to the average person but hey we are all weird in some way or another.

    so my question is how can i get my wife more involved with my nappies and why like love them, to try an make her see why or how i love them so much with out being like " ohh come here and wear a nappy for me " i was thinking maybe getting cuddles and a comfort and have her rub my head while im in my nappy or is that too far

    i would like her to be more involved so she might not be as weirded out by it

  2. #2

    Default

    You can't force her into it.. if she wants to get involved in it she will. If she doesn't, oh well.

  3. #3

    Default

    Exactly as said above. Do not force her into it, if she says no, leave it at that and don't ask again.

  4. #4

    Default

    While I agree that you can't make her like this, I think you could (if you haven't already) have a frank conversation with her about how important this is for you. Although you must recognize that it is weird, that doesn't make it any less important, and being able to share it in any way that she might manage to feel good about would be a powerful thing. Make it clear that she knows she's not just a robot set to fulfill part of your fantasy but that because of the strange and wonderful way you're wired, this could be a deep and intimate thing for you and possibly for her if she could learn to see it from the right angle. Make it explicit that you understand she may not be able to do it, but if she can understand that it's not just some trivial thing, she might be more willing to consider what she would be able to do with you. This is not a conversation that leads to you getting diapered, this is a conversation about what intimacy could mean between you and it's also something that you must understand may result in the answer "no". You'll have to decide what to do with that answer when you get it.

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
    While I agree that you can't make her like this, I think you could (if you haven't already) have a frank conversation with her about how important this is for you. Although you must recognize that it is weird, that doesn't make it any less important, and being able to share it in any way that she might manage to feel good about would be a powerful thing. Make it clear that she knows she's not just a robot set to fulfill part of your fantasy but that because of the strange and wonderful way you're wired, this could be a deep and intimate thing for you and possibly for her if she could learn to see it from the right angle. Make it explicit that you understand she may not be able to do it, but if she can understand that it's not just some trivial thing, she might be more willing to consider what she would be able to do with you. This is not a conversation that leads to you getting diapered, this is a conversation about what intimacy could mean between you and it's also something that you must understand may result in the answer "no". You'll have to decide what to do with that answer when you get it.
    ^^
    trevor that is awesome i never would of thought of going about it in that way maybe i can speak to her again about its in this way. and you say trivial thing what do you mean by that

    also this happened

    so i was really worried last night about my self and and the wife about my use of nappies and well i build up the courage to speak with her face to face and well we had a good long talk about it.

    basically what was said was ....well i asked her why she says that she is fine with me wearing my nappies for comfort and keeping me calm and happy under my clothes but when i do wear them she seem like she is in a mood or off with me for wearing them.

    She says to me that its not that im in a mood its that she finds it weird that i want to wear something made for babies.

    I was like they are not just made for babies they are also made for people who are incontinence as well and that i wear them for comfort and they make me happy.

    She said she is glad that i am happy but its still weird

    i was like yeah i know its weird but its weird to the average person who doesn't understand why people like me and you guys on here do this, its hard for us to explain to people who doesn't have this desire to wear nappies or baby clothes and act like a toddler for us its fun it makes us happy and safe and we can be away from the real world

    she now understands a little better and at that moment i asked if i could wear while going to bed, she said yeah if i wear trousers ( I.E i live in the UK trousers to us is basically anything other then jeans, jeans are jeans lol :P )

    Another question i asked was when she touches me near my nappy and she kinda freaks out and rushes to mover hand i was like why ?

    she said it freaks her out still that im wearing a nappy so what i did was put her hand on my nappy and said tell me what she is feeling she said its weird i said why but she doesn't know why

    bit later on i showed her the Adult Short Onesie i wanted and asked if it was if i was to buy one and were under my clothes so she would never know or buy one and not tell her, she would never know, she was like no way that too weird but we have talked about this and lets take this in steps.

    so over all it was a good day today we made some progress in her becoming more excepting and open to my desires of nappies and onesie's and now i can wear my nappies to bed YAY so that what ill be doing tonight will be fun

    no progress yet in having her involved but trevor has a great way to try to do this one can only hope

  6. #6

    Default

    I feel like I can speak partially on your wifes behalf and explain what she's might possibly be feeling, as another non-interested wife with an AB/DL husband. Obviously this is all my own words and thoughts and feelings, but it might be translatable to your wife and other partners out there, so I'm going to write my feelings down bluntly.

    In my head, I'm an open and accepting individual. I'm ok with BDSM (ok... I'm kinda into it!), threesomes, whatever. I theorise that any fetish play or kink is ok as long as it's safe, sane and consensual (SSC). However, I don't get any pleasure from wearing a diaper, and I also don't get any pleasure from seeing someone else wear a diaper. In the same way that a foot fetish is ok with me, but it's not something that turns me on. Now, if my partner had a foot fetish and wanted me to pleasure him with my feet, I would comply - it's not something I have a problem with, but the only enjoyment I get out of it is that HE is enjoying it; there's nothing really there for me. But, pleasuring someone with my feet takes a lot more effort than just... you know... using my hand, or mouth, or plain old missionary sex. So to put in more effort, to not get anything out of it, is not really something I want to do all the time. I want to make him happy, but it's a lot of work for something that doesn't do anything for me.

    Diapers are the same. Getting someone diapered, or not having sex because your partner is diapered, is a hassle. I don't mind doing it occassionally, but it's not something that I enjoy in its purest form, so doing it takes a lot of effort, as opposed to falling into bed together and just going at it. It IS weird to be wearing a diaper. That doesn't make it wrong, but it's certainly not normal. And it's often difficult to motivate yourself to be an active participant in something you're not interested in. (I always liken it to being invited to your neigbours daughters ballet recital. You really ought to go... but... ugh!)

    I hope that goes some way to explaining what your wife might be feeling.

  7. #7

    Default

    i understand your point completely but you say " to put effort in to not get anything out of it " get that but she doesn't want to even try to put some effort to diaper me on the odd occasion or to try one on, now i live by the rule " if you don't try you'll never know" and " you can't say you don't like something if your not willing to try at all" now i not saying all i do is ask an bam she does these things i mean i only told her a year ago (give or take) and i completely understand these things take time, i get that and she is still in the understanding process.

    but she is like no ill NEVER do it point blank NEVER i also live by " you cant tell the future " anyone can turn round 1 day and say ahh sod it why not cant hurt to try once right happens to all of us with anything ( food, games, tv shows, outdoor activities, sexual things :ext: )

    i do have a question tho have you ever tried to wear one of your husbands diapers just to try and see what he likes so much about them or have you diapered him to see what's it like to do that and if you still don't like it the at least you tried right

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by babyblood View Post
    i do have a question tho have you ever tried to wear one of your husbands diapers just to try and see what he likes so much about them or have you diapered him to see what's it like to do that and if you still don't like it the at least you tried right
    I have, yes. And it's didn't do anything for me. I somewhat agree with you - it annoys me too when people say that it's just something they're not interested in when they've never tried it. But I think you *know* when it comes to sexual things if it'll be something you'll like or not. At the end of the day though, many people say that they've been interested in diapers/bdsm/feet/whatever their thing is since they became aware of it, or some of them even say 'I was interested in this before I even knew what it was!' If she's a fully grown adult (which she is) she knows what she likes and doesn't like sexually - it's not something that just suddenly get sprung upon you (like tomatoes - they were so manky until a few years ago and now I love them!)

  9. #9

    Default

    if she dont want to get into it then she wont peoples enjoyment on these things dont change much

  10. #10

    Default

    I honestly believe its no coincidence this popped up having been away for ages -- but I'm in a place where, despite the fact I love my girlfriend, I'm seriously thinking how a long-term (or even lifelong) relationship with her would work with my DL lifestyle. She knows I'm a DL and isn't interested whatsoever, and nothing is gonna change that. She loves me and accepts me as I am, but won't diaper me, or have anything to do with it.
    Talula makes a valid point that if she were to get involved, it's only for your benefit; but frankly every relationship in existence needs worked at, and it needs compromise. If that means you don't get diapered by your other half, then there's the compromise.


    It's difficult when you've committed to a relationship or marriage, but the unfortunate reality for many in the ABDL kingdom is that they need to put their relationship in a harsh perspective against their love for diapers, because a lot of the time, the two seem incompatible. I've tried to completely remove myself from being a DL for the sake of ease, but it's so ingrained in me as a person - like sexual preference, I don't see it as a choice. And so, I will "leave my-DL-self at the door" for my relationship... but do wonder if it's too much compromise.

    This isn't going to be what you want to hear, and I see no point in sugar-coating the hard fact: you have to weigh up whether your desire for "second person involvement" is more important than the person you've dedicated and committed yourself to in love. If it's not, then deal with it and keep it to yourself -- for her sake.

    D.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.