You're not abnormal, for a person with cerebral palsy. I know you have that, because we're friends, and because I looked at your profile, when I noticed your username. I make a habit out of it, so I can check to see if there're any other contributing diagnoses, when they post, "help me," type stuff.
I have that, "My bladder spasms go away when I sleep," thing, too. based on your other posts, diapers have been a lifelong solution for you, except for a few, ill-fated, "trying to shame you out of it phases," correct?
Everyone has a little patch of skin in the private area, called the perineum, when you wet, and it stays that way a while, a signal gets sent to the bladder, and it relaxes. Some folks leak almost constantly. Maybe try changing more often, so your perineum won't stay wet?
I notice a lot of the time, that either staying clean & dry, or being able to, "go," depends on my position. Like, if I've gotten out of my wheelchair, and I need to pee before I get back into it, I have to think, "Close your Bladder sphincter," or, "You stupid body! Don't you dare poop!" Other times, the pressure put on my bladder from settling, does too good of a job keeping it closed, and I'm sitting on the toilet, thinking, "Will you just let go!"
The 3 BMs a day thing, whould only concern an allopathic doc. Naturopathic docs say 3 smaller, not hard, not diarrhea, poops, is the way it should be. If 3 meals go in, 3 should come out. 1 upon waking, or after breakfast, 1 up to 1 1/2 hours after lunch, and 1 up to 1 1/2 hours after dinner. Bottom line is, it sounds like, run of the mill, CP bladder spasms, from one CP person to another, and you're most likely just fine. :hug::hug: If you're worried, see the doctor, but be advised, some docs are drug and surgery pushing. . . Ehem. Medical advice isn't bad, just be careful who you see. Spaz and I have horror stories.
For some folks, like me, potty shaming works. . . Too well. 'Tis an evil, wretched thing, and should never be done! I distend my bladder sometimes, in an effort to tell it that I'm in control, it's not, and it gets all tired and leaky. I don't drink nearly enough, so it usually shrinks back to normal size. When I do drink enough, I'm really funny about when. Like, I'll drink the drink intended for breakfast, and the one intended for dinner at the same time, and nothing with dinner. I'm just super glad you don't do that to yourself. I know it's bad, but it's my only option for now.