I am beginning to understand how effective my DL fetish is as a coping mechanism for my current situation. Since I never felt comfortable revealing this to my soon to be ex-wife I now have a reason to want to be alone and away from her.
This has helped me deal with the involuntary loss of my wife; between other things I am realizing and the benefit of freedom to do as I choose it is becoming much easier to accept my change in life. It will also help me handle the upcoming negotiations as my desire for her will be strongly tempered by my love of wearing a diaper. That will strongly offset the benefits I get from her (I know that sounds trite, but right now I need it to be true) so it should help me be more firm. There is a tiny chance we will reconcile, but it does not look likely.
I am feeling better every day as I take advantage of this freedom. For example, Friday night I had no plans to wear however I ended up drinking sufficient fluids that I decided at about 6:30 or so to put one on and ended up almost sleeping in it.
I am still working on the sleeping in a diaper thing as it is very distracting. Friday night's was a bit on the full side such that it eventually require changing so I got up around midnight to take it off. It was hard to do! I really wanted to just keep it on, but that is why I have such a hard time sleeping... it is just so nice and cozy I actually have a hard time falling asleep!
Update: I pulled it off last night! I made it through the whole night and am still in the same Abena Abri-Form with boosters. These are some nice diapers!
So it is really good to have a coping mechanism that happens to reinforce my need to be away from my wife. Since I did not want to lose her I need some way to stop wanting to be with her, and if I am wearing a diaper then I really cannot be with her, and given how good it feels to be wearing a diaper it acts to eliminate the painful feelings and replace them with good, warm happy feelings. I need that very badly right now, and to have a means of dealing with my pain that has no physical downside in the form of addiction or health problems (I will never become incontinent even if that is possible as I hold it frequently and do not wear 24/7 - assuming it is even possible to become IC from wearing).
Having a community such as this to share with is a real bonus. When I go to bed on April 4th I will know that there are a whole bunch of other folks like me laying in their beds enjoying their diaper. I look forward to the experience!