Well, I know it's been a really long time since I was last here properly and I am sorry for that, but we are going through hell at home at the moment with my Son's mental health and my Teen Daughter's behaviour (no excuses for leaving you all I know, but yeah, I'm weak)
Before I left I reported on my appointment for the proctogram.
Well, after that I saw the specialists at the joint clinic, they said there were three options.
- To leave everything as it is and put up with it.
- To use medication to try and control the problem (suppositories and immodium)
- To have a stoma operation and colostomy bags.
I opted to try the medication route as I was NOT going to just put up with this. They also referred me to the stoma nurse in case the medication route didn't work (they didn't think it would, but not because of my history - but I was willing to try anything) Anyway because I have a history of abuse in the nether regions, I was reluctant but tried to use a suppository - this didn't go well. (physically for a start and all the emotions and memories that were triggered put me in a bad place)
Yesterday I had the appointment with the stoma nurse (he was off sick, then the readjourned appointment Simon was ill, then I didn't get a letter through for the next appointment so I missed it last week, and when I phoned on Monday to chase the appointment they said I'd missed it but managed a next day (yesterday) appointment for me) and it went really well, he's a lovely chap and he went through everything very thoroughly and explained everything and made sure I was clear that there could be complications and it might not work etc... But Again I emphasised that I am willing to try ANYTHING.
So, right at this moment I am sitting with a pretend stoma stuck to my abdomen and a colostomy bag semi filled with pretend poo. Part of the pre-operative Practice Pack.
The stoma nurse is writing to Mr Hershman to let him know that I wish to go ahead with the operation.
So yeah... I have made the decision to poop in a bag as I already pee in a bag I am not making fun of the idea, as it's a massive decision to make and I know that it's a long and painful process.. and I also know that it might not fix my problems, it might even make them far far worse, I'm just trying to be a tinsy bit jovial about it for MY part because if I didn't laugh, I would cry methinks.
Oh well, here's to the future. I am sure now that it is orange