So today I was reading an article that did two things, it made me laugh and it made me think of all of you here at ADISC (in a good way, I promise). Sorry in advance for my long winded post!
Some of you here know a little about me, I'm new the the AB/DL world, I had never really thought of diapers as something adults enjoy, and the acceptance of other's fetishes, though always interesting, had never really felt applicable to my life. Until I met my boyfriend, who is a DL and an AB and a bit of a submissive sissy some days as well, while I am his girlfriend/partner/best friend/part time mommy.
So back to the article, and the reason for this post! The blog I was reading was about femdom, and the particular article was an advice article written in response to a guy has been having problems finding someone who shared his appreciation of foot worship. The advice this wonderful blogger gave blew me away, it was honest and articulate and really hit home for me.
What she recommended to this man was something she called "fetish second dating," a wonderful concept that I think lots of people with obscure interests could use to meet a partner. The way she explains it is that it's most important to find a partner who you have things in common with, someone who you enjoy being around, someone you love and can be loved by before ever mentioning your fetish.
A quote: "There’s another reason I recommend “fetish-second” dating, or maybe this is more of a public service announcement: there are so many people out there who are into your kink and just don’t know it yet! Almost everything I now crave—strongly, deeply, desperately crave—is something I was introduced to by a partner. So go out and convert! Think of it like a sexy pyramid scheme. If you convert one person, and they convert one person, and that person converts one person, etc., pretty soon there will be more devoted foot worshipees than you know what to do with."
The reason I love her for the article is because I would have never found out I enjoy this AB/DL world if I hadn't first met and fell in love with my boyfriend. We have a connection, one that lead him to share this part of himself with me, leading me to discover a part of me I never knew existed.
My boyfriend thinks I'm some sort of rarity for being so accepting, and I've gotten the feeling from many of you that converting regular people into DLer's is down right impossible, and that the normal people out there are judgmental and finding a partner is going to be next to impossible. I'm here to tell you that maybe it isn't as bad as you think. People are much more open minded about things like this as time goes on and the internet seeps into our consciousness, what once seemed obscure and rare is now abundantly easy to learn about thanks to google. You never know, you might end up falling in love with someone who's more receptive than you think, if only you'd give people a chance.
What do you guys think? I'm interested in hearing if you think there's a large amount of people open to this kind of thing? I want to hear both sides. Think I'm wrong? If you think it's best to use sites like fetlife to find a partner guaranteed to accept you let me know!
A couple of disclaimers:
I'm not telling anyone to run out and tell their parents or wife about their private tendencies, mostly I'm counselling young people and those looking for new relationships to keep an open mind about dating outside the AB/DL sphere of influence.
I'm going to link the article, because I think it's interesting and pretty awesome, but the blog does not exactly follow the PG-13 guidelines of ADISC, so if it needs to be removed I understand.