Well, I'm a tech writer from the southern states of America. I'm a Christian and I love to read, write, and I've been studying Tarot since 2011 and I absolutely love that (the cards are beautiful!). At 26 years old, I just embarked on my first relationship with someone. After about a month, when things started to get serious, he told me about ABDL.
That's why I'm here. I had never heard of this before. And I'm very nervous. My boyfriend wants - actually, in his words, "needs" - me to be a caretaker for him. To the point where it's a deal-breaker if I don't. I've been doing some research to help me understand what he and others get out of this kind of role play (is that what you call it? Role play? Fetish? Lifestyle? I don't want to offend anyone). On the other side of things, I've been trying to figure out what I can get out of this. Or, how to navigate the waters of giving my boyfriend what he needs while I can still feel comfortable in the situation (if I indeed can't "get" anything out of it. And I hate using that utilitarian, selfish mentality - what can I get out of it - but I'm scared that if I can't find some sort of personal satisfaction, outside of being happy at making my boyfriend happy, I'll end up resenting him for introducing me to this.)
I'm crazy about this man. I care about him so much. That's why I'm here.
So, I'm here to learn. I'm here to ask questions, and understand. I hope in the process I don't offend anyone. I'd love to hear from others who have been in this situation before. I'd love to hear from others who are more well-versed in ABDL than I am.
Right now, I'm reading a thread "Infantilism vs. Pedophelia" which is something that I've been struggling with in terms of my role in this situation. As his caretaker, my boyfriend wants me to diaper him, change him, treat him like a baby and tie this to sexual teasing / denial.
I don't mean to be explicit - PG-13, I know - but, diapering is very erotic for him. From my outside perspective, it doesn't seem right. If he's pretending to be a baby, and I'm pretending to be his caretaker, and I start touching him sexually, it kinda feels like theoretically I may as well be touching a baby. If that's what he's pretending to be.
Of course, he's not a baby. He's a full-fledged, card-carrying member of the adult club . But, if he wants to be a baby, and is pretending to be a baby, how is it theoretically any different from him actually being a baby?
Although, it is his choice. A baby can't decide that. Is that the difference?
As you can tell, my head is still swimming from all this, and I am a little scared. I'm not just scared of embarking on ABDL role-play, but also of losing my boyfriend because I can't provide him with what he needs.