I have the option of moving in with my parents, but can't wear

I will be moving back in with my parents for practical reasons, and they will not let me wear diapers or baby items whatsoever.

I've tried talking with them but they will not budge.

Is it worth it to do it behind their back and hide it from them?

If they're like my parents and won't budge I don't think going behind their back and being decietful is the best because if they find out they will be even angrier.

No. You don't need to live with them, you are choosing to live with them. It's their house, if they don't want it, you need to follow their rules. They are welcoming you (back) into their home.

If you go behind their back and do it anyway, it says a lot more about you than it does them.

First are you sure that you "need" to move back in with mom and dad? Or are you doing it because things are getting tough and you find it the easiest way? I understand tough and have been though losing jobs, getting divorced, and many other problems. Except for about a 2-3 month stent when I took a new job back in my hometown I have not moved back in with mom and dad since I left at 18. Not saying that your problem puts you in a place that you have to move back but if you have thought through everything and it is what you have to do then, yes you have to go by their rules.

Achieldan said:

I will be moving back in with my parents for practical reasons, and they will not let me wear diapers or baby items whatsoever.

I've tried talking with them but they will not budge.

Is it worth it to do it behind their back and hide it from them?

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It probably isn't. The thing about rooming in someone else's house is that they get to make the rules. That's true whether it's your parents' house or some random person's house. Now, if you're paying reasonable rent, then you certainly should be entitled to some privacy. Perhaps wearing in your room once in awhile wouldn't be the end of the world, provided you're clean about it and make sure you're not stinking up the place. Ultimately, though, their disapproval is a known constraint. If you as an adult are opting to move in with them, you know going into it this is a problem point.

It's unfortunate, but hopefully you can adapt. Good luck!

Deceiving them isn't the right thing to do. You coukd discuss the issue further, explaining that it's something you want to do privately, that it won't be a bother to them, and asking for their tolerance rather than their permission. But if they think it's wrong for one reason or another, that could be a tough battle.

I would tell them either to stuff it or just wear when the house is empty if they really won't budge. Even if you try not to, I guarantee you will not make it to the end of the year without wearing. It's like saying you can move back in but you aren't allowed to be gay, it's who you are and you can't not be who you are.

You could probably where diapers when no one is around and keep them secretly hidden like a lot of the people here that live with there parents. You probably just can't wear as much as you wish to, but it should be good once and a while. There are many threads on here that say how to hid diapers. But just remember that that it is their house so they make the rules.

May be tough to cut down on, but like everyone else is saying if you are moving back under parents roof and they won't let you wear your diapers while you are there then you just need to stick it out with them and do the best you can without. If you need to move back in with them because of some sort of financial crisis, you gotta suck in your pride. Being a kid/baby is fine and dandy when you live independently but you still have to make some grown up decisions and sacrifices, regardless if you want to or not.. it's just the nature of the beast.

You really need to respect the wishes of your parents and obey their wish. I know it seems hard to do, but keep in mind that this living arrangement isn't forever. You may get chances to wear when the house is empty. Do be careful though because it sounds as if this is something they aren't keen on at all.

If being an AB/DL/Little has infatuated your life so much though that you can't hide it or you require special accommodations because of it, you may want to reconsider this living option.

Good luck with whatever you choose!

ajsco said:

I would tell them either to stuff it or just wear when the house is empty if they really won't budge. Even if you try not to, I guarantee you will not make it to the end of the year without wearing. It's like saying you can move back in but you aren't allowed to be gay, it's who you are and you can't not be who you are.

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This. I was born this way or solidly and strongly imprinted at an age before memory so as to make the matter moot. As the dad of an 18yo, if your folks have any love for you at all, I suggest moving in and being yourself. If the urge hits-and it will-go ahead and indulge. In this case, I would ask for forgiveness rather than for permission. I'd go ahead and follow their other rules though. To the letter.

For the most part, I would try to follow their rules as it is their house and home. Perhaps by having to go without, you will try all the harder to once again, get a place of your own. Perhaps that's what your parents want as well. Either way, it's going to be difficult.

ajsco said:

I would tell them either to stuff it or just wear when the house is empty if they really won't budge. Even if you try not to, I guarantee you will not make it to the end of the year without wearing. It's like saying you can move back in but you aren't allowed to be gay, it's who you are and you can't not be who you are.

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I don't think it's necessarily that extreme in terms of execution. Maybe I'm a special case but here it is: it was worse for me when I railed against it in myself but after I started to accept that it was okay and I was too but acting on it wasn't worth the harm it could do, I was able to go several years without wearing and it wasn't making me crazy. It's much better to be able to wear whenever I want but giving myself the freedom to play with it in my head was sufficient at a minimum level for an indefinite period.

Directly to the OP: I don't think I would have brought this up in the first place with parents but since you have, I think you're sort of stuck with trying to make them okay with what you do. Do you have a sense of how long you'd be living there? Would you be paying rent? Knowing whether it's short term or long term and whether it's charity or business is relevant to your negotiating position.

Achieldan said:

I will be moving back in with my parents for practical reasons, and they will not let me wear diapers or baby items whatsoever.

I've tried talking with them but they will not budge.

Is it worth it to do it behind their back and hide it from them?

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I would not move back in if that is a option. It's obvious they are not going to respect who and what you are. If they do not like it then don't give up your freedom. Your relationship might become toxic (if it is not already in which case it will get even more toxic) and it's not a healthy thing for you to do this. Quite honestly trying to repress this side of yourself is dangerous to your mental health. If your parents knew that then they would not be so reckless with your mental health. Will you be paying rent? If you do then make sure to have it in writing as that would be a legally binding contract. You have to understand if you are paying rent then no one has any business telling you how to live as long as that contract is in effect or there is a Claus in the contract that stats otherwise. The only exception to this is whether or not a law was broken (I.E a restraining order or someone's actions making things unsafe for other people). May I ask why you think you have to move back in with them? There may be a better solution to this that no one has thought of yet. I think though it would be best for you to simply not move back in at all though depending on the circumstances.

I'd say no.

As a kid, I think it's somewhat acceptable to do these kind of things against the wishes of ones parents, however as an adult I'd say it's far less so. You are no longer a kid and no longer socially entitled to room and board with your parents. If they are kind enough to let you move back in, it should be treated as a grown up relationship (as if you were staying with a friend) and not a return to a more immature parent/child relationship.

Generally growing up you don't have a great deal of choice but to live at home (obviously in extreme cases people don't, but in your average case it's pretty much the only choice). As an adult, moving back in with your parents is a decision, and part of that decision is accepting the loss of some freedoms.

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ajsco said:

It's like saying you can move back in but you aren't allowed to be gay, it's who you are and you can't not be who you are.

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While it's certainly a shitty thing to do, I feel they have a right to say exactly that. It's different when you are a kid and have little choice but to live at home, at which as I said in my above post, bending or breaking the rules is at minimum understandable. As an adult, you are making a decision to live there under whatever rules they've established. Sucks, but that's the reality of being an adult.

AEsahaettr said:

I would argue that if being an AB/DL/Little has infatuated your life so much though that you can't hide it or you require special accommodations because of it, you've crossed the line distinguishing it being a benign enjoyment from an unhealthy dependence.

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It is not a unhealthy dependence to be oneself. It is unhealthy to think someone can be anything other then themselves without there being mental health issues. Being AB/DL is a part of who and what someone is. It's never going to stop and never going away even if someone wants it to go away. People ignore this side of themselves at their peril and it has to be managed not stifled to prevent there from being a problem. It's actually unhealthy to demand someone to give this side of them up because there are plenty of people right here on ADISC that have tried that and it has never worked.

I love drinking. I like the taste of alcohol, beer, wine, mixed drinks. I love the feel of a buzz. I love being drunk just short of blacking out. And so long as I don't get hungover I have no regrets. Unfortunately, I have a liver issue which from time to time means that I have a lot of trouble drinking because it flares up. At one point two years ago it reached a point where I had two beers one night and was "sick" (basically a prolonged hangover) for three days. However, I control my desires; they don't control me. I stopped drinking for a couple months and improved my health to the point I could enjoy alcohol again. This cycle repeats from time to time. The point where I can't stop doing something I like doing because of practical issues is the point where I have a clinical problem. As is with anyone else.

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Drinking is a choice. Being AB/DL is conditioned most likely into us from early childhood. Yes being AB/DL needs to be controlled and done in moderation but being AB/DL is not a problem in and off itself. It's just something that needs to be worked on to prevent it from becoming a problem.

The point is that we all have times in life that preclude us from enjoying our indulgences. Part of being a well-adjusted adult is accepting this when it happens. Sometimes you can't do anything about it and for one reason or another need to go without something we enjoy. That's just life.

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Your half right about this being just life. This is potentially a serious mental health problem waiting to happen not a indulgence. Part of being a well-adjusted adult is taking care of yourself as well. This is not something the OP does for enjoyment. It's something the OP does so they don't get out of control. This is more then just life. Ab/DL's ignore this at their peril.

No one is saying you can't be an ABDL while living at home, I think most would agree one has little choice in that.

One should however be able to refrain from indulging in related activities, at least within someone elses' house when they've asked you specifically to do so. I for one enjoy sex. Like, a lot. I could however refrain from having sex for an extended period if it was the choice of that and not having anywhere to live. Once a person loses that control, I agree entirely with AEsahaettr, it's a huge red flag that your deck is becoming unstacked.

accepted said:

It is not a unhealthy dependence to be oneself. It is unhealthy to think someone can be anything other then themselves without there being mental health issues. Being AB/DL is a part of who and what someone is. It's never going to stop and never going away even if someone wants it to go away. People ignore this side of themselves at their peril and it has to be managed not stifled to prevent there from being a problem. It's actually unhealthy to demand someone to give this side of them up because there are plenty of people right here on ADISC that have tried that and it has never worked.

Drinking is a choice. Being AB/DL is conditioned most likely into us from early childhood. Yes being AB/DL needs to be controlled and done in moderation but being AB/DL is not a problem in and off itself. It's just something that needs to be worked on to prevent it from becoming a problem.

Your half right about this being just life. This is potentially a serious mental health problem waiting to happen not a indulgence. Part of being a well-adjusted adult is taking care of yourself as well. This is not something the OP does for enjoyment. It's something the OP does so they don't get out of control. This is more then just life. Ab/DL's ignore this at their peril.

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You seem to have missed AEsahaettr's point. Your reply doesn't speak to it in any event. AEsahaettr didn't say that being an ABDL is a problem in itself but that requiring special accomodations or being unable to do without indulging for a period is. Don't let your zeal for defending what we all are (which is good) blind you to the ways in which it can be counterproductive, just like any other interest or urge. We can discuss where that line is but I think it's pretty important to recognize that there is a line. If being an ABDL is disrupting your life, the scope of that behavior needs looking at.

As I mentioned earlier in the thread, I went years without ABDL paraphernalia. I wasn't a mess, I wasn't a breakdown waiting to happen. I was consciously making a choice as to my priorities in life. In my own case, the harm came from the denial of myself and those urges, not the actions. Once I began to accept that those were part of me but not apprporiate to act upon outside my own head, it was okay. Based on that, although I have no desire or reason to do so, I think I could go for an indefinite period without making use of any ABDL materials. I'm an ABDL in my head first and foremost and as long as I'm not denying that part of myself, the physical objects are essentially icing on the cake.

BoundCoder said:

No one is saying you can't be an ABDL while living at home, I think most would agree one has little choice in that.

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I find that hard to believe actually as far as being asked to not be AB/DL. Why? Because people sometimes have a hard time accepting the fact that AB/DL's have little choice in the matter.

One should however be able to refrain from indulging in related activities, at least within someone elses' house when they've asked you specifically to do so. I for one enjoy sex. Like, a lot. I could however refrain from having sex for an extended period if it was the choice of that and not having anywhere to live. Once a person loses that control, I agree entirely with AEsahaettr, it's a huge red flag that your deck is becoming unstacked.

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That's the catch. Refraining indefinitely which is what the OP's parents appear to want is not healthy. No I am not assuming that either. I am merely thinking that is a extremely real possibility based upon the information so far about the parents. I am not saying the OP should wear all the time. I am saying the OP should wear only as little as is needed to prevent this from going to his head to prevent it from getting out of control in the first place. It will eventually become a problem after a while if the OP just tries to suppress this side of themselves. Also if the OP pays rent that's like your landlord telling you to not wear diapers in your apartment or place of residence. How is the OP disrespecting the "landlord"(in this case the parents) then? I am not so sure the OP is going to end up on a sidewalk somewhere. The OP is not becoming obsessed with being a AB/DL. It just needs to be managed so it does not get to that point. The "red flag" you are talking about is simply not there yet though there is circumstantial evidence of that being the case. But if the OP is forced to stay with his parents I suspect that could become a problem. In fact I don't think the OP has lost any where near as much control as one thinks. Why not ask the OP some questions about that since that is what you think? For all we know the OP might have a already very seriously toxic relationship with his parents and that is a point that needs to be taken into consideration as well for all we know.

Also this is not about sex. It's about the OP's long term mental health. It's dangerous to simply suppress the desire. Tell me when was the last time you saw someone with severe depression on here? I think we both know we don't need to see the OP go through that just because he has other options that involves questions that where never asked that are healthier for him long term. Also before anyone says I am making assumptions don't. It's obvious I know something about the OP that I refuse to openly speak off that most people don't know about. I'm controlling information essentially.

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Trevor said:

You seem to have missed AEsahaettr's point. Your reply doesn't speak to it in any event. AEsahaettr didn't say that being an ABDL is a problem in itself but that requiring special accomodations or being unable to do without indulging for a period is. Don't let your zeal for defending what we all are (which is good) blind you to the ways in which it can be counterproductive, just like any other interest or urge. We can discuss where that line is but I think it's pretty important to recognize that there is a line. If being an ABDL is disrupting your life, the scope of that behavior needs looking at.

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Trust me. It's not zeal. Like I said before I know something that I am not going to talk about. I am controlling some information right now that should be left up to the OP if he wants to talk about it or not. I would be disrespectful otherwise to the OP I did anything less. You see there is this presumption that the scope of the OP's behavior is a issue. Ask the OP and decide for yourself because I really don't think it's as bad as it looks.

As I mentioned earlier in the thread, I went years without ABDL paraphernalia. I wasn't a mess, I wasn't a breakdown waiting to happen. I was consciously making a choice as to my priorities in life. In my own case, the harm came from the denial of myself and those urges, not the actions. Once I began to accept that those were part of me but not apprporiate to act upon outside my own head, it was okay. Based on that, although I have no desire or reason to do so, I think I could go for an indefinite period without making use of any ABDL materials. I'm an ABDL in my head first and foremost and as long as I'm not denying that part of myself, the physical objects are essentially icing on the cake.

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I know it's possible but that is dependent on the individual. I went though out most of my life not knowing what a AB/DL even was and look at how damaging that forced suppression became to me. You know about my blogs and what happened to me. I was not so much in denial but losing out on most of my life simply because of the views of other's and because of what society tried to force me to be. It takes time to become as disciplined as you are about these things. Some are faster then others. As for going for long periods of time without I have no doubt that you can go years. But do you think you can go over a decade like me without serious issues? Everyone has their breaking point. My was reached after 26 years of betrayal that resulted in me being chronically homeless for what should have been the best years of my life all because I simply did not want to be what people wanted me to be. You said it yourself. Harm comes from denial of oneself. The OP might acknowledge the existence of those urges but simply suppressing them does not work safely forever. Thank you for your points though. They are relevant actually. I just took all that (and more) into consideration that's all. Sorry if I came off as being to intense or zealous. I just don't present facts very well even though they exist. I just can't seem to not be able to speak the truth without being controversial. Besides I think the OP is going to be alright anyways based upon what I know. Just a fyi I think Aesahaettr's earned that reputation actually even if I disagree but that is due to there being more to this then what most of us readily knows. :smile1: