Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: dealing with break up with gf

  1. #1

    Default dealing with break up with gf

    hi everyone,
    its been a while since i posted on here or even logged in.
    sorry this one is going to big huge but i need to get some stuff off my chest and there's no one else i can talk to.

    last month my girlfriend of 2 and a half years broke up with me. we both kinda knew it was coming and i did feel like a bit of weight was lifted off my shoulders but it still hurt.

    this was my first ever relationship and it wasn't too long before i thought things were getting serious. about 6 months into the relationship i told her about my dl side and what i was into. i was really nervous when telling her especially as i had always felt ashamed and anxious about my dl desires.

    to my surprise and relief she was ok with it. i took my time introducing her to the dl side of me especially cause i was nervous and it was kind of embarrassing wearing and using nappies in front of someone else.

    eventually she started doing stuff too, it got to the point where she would wear, wet and mess in front of me. not always and she never really liked the messing but she said she was always ok with it. i would always ask her if she was ok with doing it or if she was ok with me doing it in front of her and i always told her we could stop at any point.

    about a year ago all of a sudden she wasn't ok with it. so we went back to just me doing stuff and only very rarely would she do anything. i started to feel like i needed her to do stuff even just wearing but she said it stressed her out and that she was never ok with it but did it just because i wanted her to and that she didn't realize she was only doing it to please me.

    this shattered my sense of self, i feel in a way what i did was something of rape or sexual abuse. when i told her i felt like that she never denied it or said anything to the contrary, which only made me feel even worse.

    about 4 months ago we worked out a compromise, that we would do nappy related stuff once a month. this seemed to work because she said she wouldn't stress about disappointing me if i asked her about/for it. this compromise worked for about 2 months before she freaked while she was wetting and then yelled at me because her to go clean up and get out of it before even trying to comfort her (i was trying to get her out of what she was uncomfortable with as soon as possible) also as this happened i felt very hurt and disappointment and those feeling of shame all came back so i wasn't exactly in the best mind set to comfort her and i knew that.

    about a month after that she said she had been talking to a friend about emotionally abusive relationships and that this friend ( who i don't know) said that they thought she was getting emotionally abused by me. and the next day she broke up with me.

    as far as the emotionally abusive, i would like to point out that all thru the 2 year relationship we only saw each other once a week. i wanted to see more of her but her mum and her only ever seemed to be available once a week. it got to the point where i was getting very dissapointed when didn't get to see her and she said that that was emotionally manipulative. also her family is all a bit weird, her mum has self diagnosed depression and stopped work and just lives at home and does nothing. they all call her dad "sperm donor" even in front of her. half her family has self diagnosed mental illness, none of them have seen any kind of councilor/psych. whenever i was at her place or her families place everyone had to be careful what you said to who in case you "triggered" their depression or bipolar or whatever else it was. now don't get me wrong i have a great deal or respect and understanding to anyone with a mental illness, my mother has bipolar i know some people who have PTSD. but i never believed that anyone in her family actually had a mental illness. and by the end of the relationship i started noticing that she was saying and doing a lot of what her family does. she couldn't jump on the bus because she couldn't "make herself leave the house". or wasn't "up to going aywhere". and this worried me because im sure she is/was talking herself into depression just like her mum. and i think calling me emotionally abusive is just another part of that.....she's going to get depression because she was in an emotionally abusive relationship.

    sorry for all the "she" this and that i just don't want to mention any names or specifics just in case. i still care for her a lot and i am very worried about her and this "friend". i still don't want to be in a relationship with her but at one time i did love her and i will always remember that.

    i just don't know what to feel or think. im very ashamed of my dl side and i fee that it broke up the relationship. im verry worried that i forced it on her and that i hurt her. im also worried, what if i need this in a relationship? what if i need someone who can satisfy my dl side? what if i really am emotionally abusive?.... or at least can be when it comes to dl stuff.

    any advice or thoughts would be appreciated, i guess i just need someone to talk to. also please remember that your only getting one side of what happened. i've tried to be as honest as i can but as always there is some bias.

  2. #2


    It's so difficult to have a relationship where you only see or get to be with each other one day a week.. painful on both ends beyond measure. The sudden change, maybe she wanted something different in life.. like going in a different direction with things. Sometimes you have to make a change to make a relationship work.. if its one you can't change because it is so much a part of you, then sometimes a breakup is just a warning that you deserve someone that is able to embrace you for the person you are.

    Hope that helps and stay strong...

  3. #3


    Break ups are always difficult, even the ones you may initiate. I've been on both sides and it was always upsetting.
    The best thing you can do is get back up on the horse and ride. It may take awhile before you meet the right girl, but that's what dating is all about. Perhaps you can be a little more upfront as to what you're looking for in your relationship. Even if not, it's been said on this site that a good relationship with someone else is more than just diapers. You have to click and then, genuinely love each other. It sounds to me that in your relationship, some of that may have been missing.

  4. #4


    thanks for the responses guys, believe it or not even just typing all that out and posting it made me feel a lot better. i completely agree that a good relationship is not just nappies, i just always felt like with the right girl i could leave them behind and i guess what my last relationship showed was that i couldn't.... that in some way it is a part of me.

  5. #5


    Hey...guess that felt good to get off your chest. Sorry about the relationship. So at least you have resolved something about yourself which is good. I just hope for your sake she respects your privacy now. Actually, no relationship should be based on any kink though I guess that sounds attractive. Really, good relationships are all about total respect, trust and sharing and that can include nappies, but as an aspect not the main deal. I hope you find another positive solid relationship soon.

  6. #6


    I'm sorry about your break up, it sounds like you've put a lot of thought into it. The thing about break ups is, they're unavoidable, and a lot of time it is really no ones fault.

    It sounds like she wanted to please you, so she decided to join in on your world, and became a part of the DL scene for you. I can understand the pressure to try to please your significant other, it happens, wanting to please your partner can get you to do things you might never have done otherwise. But she made her choice, and it sounds like she didn't have a problem with it to begin with. During a time like this, when a relationship is growing and someone is trying something new, it's important to know that it is both of your responsibilities to be honest about feelings.

    That being said, it doesn't mean you did anything wrong. If the one time a week you seen her you wanted her to put on diapers and partake, I can understand why she'd be upset, but that might not be the case, I don't know. In my opinion it sounds like she had some outsides reasons to want the break up. It doesn't make her a bad person, it just means that your relationship wasn't going to work out. Both people have to want to put in the effort, that's why it's work to make a relationship last, it takes time and effort and commitment from both parties.

    About the emotional abuse.. I wouldn't worry about it if I was in your shoes. Lots of girls, especially young ones in their first relationship, want to please their boyfriends so much that they cave into doing things they normally wouldn't. But you didn't pressure her, she wasn't forced into have unprotected sex or doing drugs, you didn't belittle her for anything and try to coerce her. Just try to remember that the choices she made were her own, and though she might regret them she made them of her own free will.

    I'm sorry that you're losing someone that you could be yourself with, I know that can be hard, and nothing anyone says is really going to make it easier, but I think you're doing the right thing trying to organize your thoughts and reflect on how things went wrong. I hope you feel better soon.

Similar Threads

  1. Dealing with Depression
    By Misatoismywaifu in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-Jul-2014, 12:31
  2. Dealing with little emotions
    By ozbub in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 29-Oct-2012, 04:26
  3. Dealing with the worst >.>
    By BabyZidane in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 17-Jul-2012, 01:58
  4. dealing with heat
    By uppitycrip in forum Incontinence
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 24-Jul-2008, 15:58

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  • - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.