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Thread: Daddy/Little relationships in the "real" world

  1. #1

    Default Daddy/Little relationships in the "real" world

    So I was super lucky and my wonderful, amazing Daddy found me on Fetlife. We live about 3 hours apart, but I'm super lucky, and he's coming up to see me soon!

    Anyways, he's 32 and I'm 20. He is an absolutely wonderful Daddy, and makes me super happy, but I find it hard to talk about him to my friends. I lie about his age to say he's 28, because I know most people will think that I'm making a huge mistake being in a relationship with someone so much older than me. But it works absolutely fine in the Daddy/daughter way, and I even like that he's older, it makes me feel more little, I think. We've also moved things along pretty fast (almost 100% on my insistence. We met, moved to talking on Kik two days later, and Skyped a day or two after that. We've only been talking for a week and a half, but we just really mesh well.), and so either I lie about a lot of our relationship, or they all question it. And, when people ask where we met, "the internet" as an answer always makes them want to know a specific place. Of course I'm not going to tell them it was Fetlife, so right now my excuse is Plenty of Fish, from an account I made "just for laughs".

    Anyways, does anyone have any tips or suggestions how I talk about and deal with questions about him and our relationship keeping the AB part of it all out of it? I mean, my Daddy makes me so happy I want to tell my friends about how amazing he is, but sometimes things are super hard...

  2. #2


    Right now my only advice is to be careful. We ADISCers always suggest going slow and being careful when meeting others. A week and a half is pretty quick to start any relationship. I know you're both adults but there is always cause for concern.

    As for your friends, it seems you are handling it well saying that you have met on the internet. When you do meet and spend some time together, you might want to tell at least one friend you're meeting and to have him/her call you every two hours or so. Are you sure there isn't one super close friend you can tell about your "interest".

  3. #3


    For starters, you certainly will get lots of people around here cautioning about moving too fast as well. Not because we want to judge, but just because we want you to be safe and happy. I got into very quick relationship with Daddy's before, and I really have to caution just from personal experience that it's almost always better to take things slow and cautious.

    I really would recommend that you stop lying about the basics to your friends, the stuff they WILL find out eventually.. the obvious biggest one being the age gap.

    If you honestly think there is nothing wrong with the age gap, not only is it only fair to yourself that you are honest.. but it's only fair to the man you are getting in a relationship too. You shouldn't be ashamed of him, or ashamed of your taste in men. Maybe you even just like older men, you know? If your friends can't understand that, then they aren't really friends.

    I know it's scary, but I think it's really important that you cross this bridge. Your friends are likely to only be more hurt the longer you keep it from them. These people are your friends and are the ones you are supposed to be able to trust to have your back. Keep the ones that love you and look out for you already informed so they can be ready to help if they need to!

    One thing I do have to mention though is that sometimes we hide things like age gaps in relationships and where we met them (even simply just a dating site, which is all people need to know anyway) because we internally feel there is something wrong with this. Getting over the idea that there is a problem with your age gap, or a problem with how you met him is going to be important for the sake of having a healthy happy relationship. You need to make sure that YOU are okay with him being 32.

  4. #4


    Thanks guys for being concerned. I mean, I know it's crazy, but yet, it feels so right. I've definitely thought a lot about it all, though long and hard about safety. I know we did move fast from Fetlife to Skype, but in some ways, I think that's good. It's a lot easier to figure out a person through talking to them on video chat than it is through text. And, we've moved as far as we can until we actually meet, so now we have some time to REALLY get to know each other. I have told people that we hope he comes up, and one or two that he is sure coming to visit, and will 100% let a close friend or two know the weekend he comes and where we are, just in case. I 100% agree that it's better to be safe than sorry and that you can't be too careful.

    Really gigglemuffinz? I'm just afraid nobody will understand, and accept him. That they'll judge even more than I feel like they already do if they know how much older than me he is. I feel like if I wasn't in university, if I had graduated, the age wouldn't be nearly a problem, but but my friends and I are still "kids", and he's not. So, if I was to right my lie, any suggestions? Be like, "oops, did I say 28? Actually meant 32!". As hard as it might be, now I'm kinda thinking that you're right. I hate the lying...

    I'm definitely okay with the age gap. I think it's what my Little side needs, and me in general. Someone with life experience, who can deal with my depression, insecurities, etc.

    Thanks you two. This was really helpful. I'm starting to be able to sort everything out in my swirling mind, while figuring out what abdl means to me now, in the context of a relationship with someone else.

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