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Thread: I don't know who I am...

  1. #1

    Default I don't know who I am...

    Hey, it's KittyninjaW, I've felt relatively happy for the past, few days, but the depressed felling hit again, To be honest, I've been looking up sissy baby, baby fur, and Abdl stuff, and, I don't know what I am. I really do want to be in those fantasy worlds, where I'm treated like a baby cat girl, sometimes, and it's really bothering me now. Sure I go to my room, but to be honest sometimes I really want to dress/act like a little girl, other times a dog and other times a cat, and sometimes a combination, and it really bothers me, also the fact I can't get a girlfriend. Now I know I'm straight, and a guy, and a Christian, but I really fell like these are a part of me and I want to know what I am and what to do.

  2. #2

    Default

    I don't usually frequent this forum of adisc, but i saw your thread from the recent list.

    First off, you are who you want to be. Being AB doesn't mean you need to be a specific category. You don't even have to say that you are an AB if you want, but it does make for a convenient way of explaining yourself. There isn't a club membership that says you have to live by certain rules and rights, being AB, or Furry, or sissy, includes usually one or two specific themes that are common to the rest, and then a bunch of personality traits that customize that title to yourself.

    AB: usually means you like to feel like a baby, which can include liking diapers or babyish things.
    Furry: usually means you like anthropomorphic characters. To what depth of liking them is up to you, this may mean that you'd like to be one, or it might mean you like to read comics with them.
    Sissy: from my understanding means that you like to be more feminine from a younger age aspect. For example, princes things and pink. To what extent you like those, is also up to you. Weather you like to have princess posters on your wall, or if you like to wear princess print underwear, or wear frilly dresses.

    You can say you are part of that category if you want, or you can say that you don't feel like that category describes you well because of certain elements of it. For instance, I don't consider myself a sissy, at least yet, but I have a "hello kitty" diaper, a pink diaper with bunnies, and a MLP diaper, but I still don't consider myself a sissy, mostly because I just think they are cute, but from a childish standpoint rather than a feminine childish standpoint.

    Some people might say, "well, you must be a sissy then because you like pink," and if that is what they want to think, then let them, you cant control them. If they want to know what you think though, then define it yourself, you can say, "I like pink, but I don't consider myself a sissy because I don't like some of the other stuff," or, what is more likely based on what you have said, "I like a lot of sissy stuff, but not all of the time, I guess you could say i'm a part time sissy."

    The Adult Baby lifestyle can sometimes be complicated because we are forced to embrace two identities, which then can split into more identities because we are used to changing between two. We don't have multiple personality disorder, because we can control it, and we don't loose recognition of our other personalities, but we do have a more defined separation of public and private personality than some people do. Sometimes it is easiest to refer to yourself as your "little side" and your "adult side," to which you can also split into other categories if you feel inclined. You could say that you have a "little-sissy" side, and a "little-furry" side, and sometimes they collide together. You could also say that you have a "adult-furry" side, which wouldn't commonly collide with your little side unless you were talking about sexuality aspects.

    Separation of personalities isn't uncommon. People may say, "I need to put on my poker face," at which point they become absolute liars, but before hand, they could be the most honest person you know. Being a human isn't a simple thing, and there isn't a simple solution for categorizing a person for 100% of his/her existence. One day you might want to eat cereal for breakfast, the next day you would much rather have bacon and eggs. Try to think of yourself as a Venn-diagram rather than a single circle of things.

    As for the Christian aspect and your dating aspect of the conversation:
    I used to consider myself Christian, but my views have changed, however, i'll try and approach from your point of view. I believe that if Jesus was willing to sit with the sinners (not saying that any of these aspects of your life are a sin, but if you believe that), then he would be willing to sit with you as your AB-furry-sissy self. Humanity is really a beautiful thing because it isn't about all of us becoming clones of Jesus, it is about how Jesus saved imperfect creatures who were not like him, who were different in many ways, and rather than see them be destroyed, he preserved them. People might say, "Well Jesus commanded to be perfect." True, but I don't think it means to be perfect in everything, because that is impossible for humans, it means to be perfect in your love and respect towards others, that is why the verse with that commandment starts with the context of "I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you..." So in other words, love the fact that we are different, and don't just pretend that you do, be perfect in loving other people and respecting their differences, and their struggles.

    As for dating life:
    I'd say, you can try online, but I personally don't think i'm going to do well that way. You are probably best off looking for somebody that fits your personality (introverted/extroverted, clean/sloppy, intellectual/goof, fitness/potato, and so forth). Once you find somebody like that, be sure to address your needs that you can not do without having him/her accept and love before you both become too intimate. To me, that means, before we become exclusive, I need to tell my partner about my little side, and make sure they are happy with me being that way, at least after a little bit of time.

    Best of luck, and sorry this is so long.

  3. #3

    Default

    Hi, KittyninjaW,

    First of all, a belated welcome, as we have not spoken before. This is not one of the threads I generally hang out on, but I do occasionally do some thread-hopping to see what is going on throughout the site, and your post caught my eye.

    I make no pretense to have any special insight into the psychology of the human animal or the ways of the world beyond those that come naturally from hanging out on it with people for 57 years. However, as a tg woman who has for almost forty of those years been teaching in high schools, and who has also raised three now-adult children who have all had their share of identity confusion, I do have at least some basic understanding of the things that go bump in our minds. Enough, anyway, to know that the confusion you are dealing with is not unique and is not anything to allow yourself to become depressed about.

    I know, I know: we cannot really help our depressions when they hit. Since I have not followed you, I don't know if you are on any meds for that, but if depression is a state that is consistent enough to warrant them, you might consider that as an option. Believe me (personal experience once again): they make a world of difference. Examining an issue with a clear mind allows you to see what is and what is not truly critical and then not to, as they say, sweat the small stuff.

    So the question is then: what are you? Are you a sissy baby, a baby fur, an abdl, a little? Are you some combination of two or more of these? You're 21 years old. Experiment! Why does there need to be a single definitive answer anyway? Can't a person enjoy steaks *and* fish, depending on the mood? Don't presume that because your emotions are changeable you are being *unfaithful* to one or another branch of the fetish or that you must not *fit* that mold; it isn't true. Not by a long shot. There is no "perfect" way to be a baby fur or a sissy or an ABDL. Everyone invents it for themselves. And none of it has anything to do with whether you are "straight, and a guy, and a Christian." These are externals that exist for you completely outside of the game. Don't you think there are straight Christian guys here? And straight Christian girls too? Think about it! Christianity is the single largest religious block in the west. Straights make up the vast majority of the human race and thus of internet users. It would be shocking if there weren't straight Christians here! There is *absolutely nothing wrong with that*. There is nothing incompatible with age or fur play in the Christian faith.

    You do say one thing in your post that I find revealing: "it really bothers me, also the fact that I can't get a girlfriend." Are you perhaps conflating your fetishistic thoughts with your lack of success with the opposite sex? Is it actually this lack of success that is causing these feelings of low self-esteem? I ask because this too is perfectly normal. I don't know many young men--other than the lucky ones who just always seem to have the girls about them--who have not felt as you do. Most young men spend a lot of time wondering the same thing, even if on the outside it seems as if nothing is wrong. And almost all young women do as well. (For goodness sake: check out just about any television show!)

    Don't rush. Let things happen as they will. Enjoy your fantasies in private until and unless such a time comes when there is someone to share them with. There's nothing unusual about this; that's why they are called "fantasies." And remember that 21 is very young. Life is only starting to happen; there is a whole lot left to experience. A lot of it will surprise you.

  4. #4

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    'ello Kitty!

    You don't have to be exact on who you are. Lots of people are unsure on how to classify themselves. Some people are cat one day and a dog the next day. It's all about a certain cycle you set yourself. You could probably not get an answer till your 24 years old but it's just like a career. People don't know what they want to be when they grow up, when they hit adult hood, they still don't know what they want to be, all you have to do is give it some thought. That does not make you less smaller than what you think dude. Every little goal you accomplish is a gold star in your book and definitely mine.

    What you could do is take a fursona test (They are not always accurate but could give you an idea) and here are some links for you,

    http://www.helloquizzy.com/quizzy/take
    http://www.gotoquiz.com/what_kind_of...our_fursona_be
    http://www.proprofs.com/quiz-school/...animal-mammals

    Of course you will get different results but you could narrow it down to the closest thing you could match about yourself. It's all about personality and as long as you got time, you should be willing enough to take these kinds of tests. Most common fursona's are Dog's, Cat's, Foxes and bunnies. Some people love to be pokemon babyfurs (Which is definitely me) so you can choose a list from a pokemon for the time being and give you an idea on what your real fursona is in the future. It takes time and preparation and alot of patience to determine what your personality, what fur, what activities, and most important what resembles YOU!

    Another note on why it would bother you? Many of people have multiple personalities and some people are mixed like here's an example. Kinda silly but CatDog is a cat and a dog so i'm sure you can be two fursona's. :3 of course it's mostly common to have one because it is who you are and how you act but there is no rule within the furry world that you can have more than one fursona or babyfur in your life. People have a pokemon fursona and a fox fursona that classifies them as who they are.

    You are 21 so you are still young, I wouldn't let this become a complete issue just yet. Enjoy life dude and you don't necessarily need a girlfriend yet. Trust me, (Sorry, No offense ICKaraokegirl) women are a bit dramatic in my book. Wanna hear something funny about the gender's? Listen to this video and watch how accurate men and women are somewhat today.



    You don't have to have a women to be happy dude. My women will be a jumbo jet and her name will be Boeing-777...that will be the love of my life, I don't have to have a partner to be happy because I am 19, I am living young, and I am proud of who I am. Women will sometimes get in your way and change up things. I am not saying all women do this because men do the same way but for you, you don't need a girlfriend yet.

    I have had 3 girlfriends in my life from ages 15-18 and let me tell you that all these women were not my types. Here's my fair share in the stories.

    First Girlfriend


    Second Girlfriend


    Third Girlfriend


    Women are too mello-dramatic to me! Am I gay? No. Am I straight? Yes but for the time being, I don't have any kind of sex drive for males or females so I looked up on who I was and Asexual was ringing a bell and that's who I am...

    You don't need a girlfriend to make yourself happy, just be who you are and if you need a girl, then the right one is around the corner.

  5. #5

    Default

    I guess I'll just add in my own personal experience here. I am a guy who for the longest time thought I was a sissy, that just really appealed to me, but then things changed I started gravitating away from the sissy stuff and was more into the baby boy stuff but recently my sissy side has come back (not as strong, but still there). I have come to accept that there are different sides to me, my abdl identity is not static. I guess what I'm trying to get at is don't worry so much about trying to get one singular identity. Just take it slow, experiment and take what you like and drop what you don't.

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by ICkaraokegirl View Post
    Hi, KittyninjaW,

    First of all, a belated welcome, as we have not spoken before. This is not one of the threads I generally hang out on, but I do occasionally do some thread-hopping to see what is going on throughout the site, and your post caught my eye.

    I make no pretense to have any special insight into the psychology of the human animal or the ways of the world beyond those that come naturally from hanging out on it with people for 57 years. However, as a tg woman who has for almost forty of those years been teaching in high schools, and who has also raised three now-adult children who have all had their share of identity confusion, I do have at least some basic understanding of the things that go bump in our minds. Enough, anyway, to know that the confusion you are dealing with is not unique and is not anything to allow yourself to become depressed about.

    I know, I know: we cannot really help our depressions when they hit. Since I have not followed you, I don't know if you are on any meds for that, but if depression is a state that is consistent enough to warrant them, you might consider that as an option. Believe me (personal experience once again): they make a world of difference. Examining an issue with a clear mind allows you to see what is and what is not truly critical and then not to, as they say, sweat the small stuff.

    So the question is then: what are you? Are you a sissy baby, a baby fur, an abdl, a little? Are you some combination of two or more of these? You're 21 years old. Experiment! Why does there need to be a single definitive answer anyway? Can't a person enjoy steaks *and* fish, depending on the mood? Don't presume that because your emotions are changeable you are being *unfaithful* to one or another branch of the fetish or that you must not *fit* that mold; it isn't true. Not by a long shot. There is no "perfect" way to be a baby fur or a sissy or an ABDL. Everyone invents it for themselves. And none of it has anything to do with whether you are "straight, and a guy, and a Christian." These are externals that exist for you completely outside of the game. Don't you think there are straight Christian guys here? And straight Christian girls too? Think about it! Christianity is the single largest religious block in the west. Straights make up the vast majority of the human race and thus of internet users. It would be shocking if there weren't straight Christians here! There is *absolutely nothing wrong with that*. There is nothing incompatible with age or fur play in the Christian faith.

    You do say one thing in your post that I find revealing: "it really bothers me, also the fact that I can't get a girlfriend." Are you perhaps conflating your fetishistic thoughts with your lack of success with the opposite sex? Is it actually this lack of success that is causing these feelings of low self-esteem? I ask because this too is perfectly normal. I don't know many young men--other than the lucky ones who just always seem to have the girls about them--who have not felt as you do. Most young men spend a lot of time wondering the same thing, even if on the outside it seems as if nothing is wrong. And almost all young women do as well. (For goodness sake: check out just about any television show!)

    Don't rush. Let things happen as they will. Enjoy your fantasies in private until and unless such a time comes when there is someone to share them with. There's nothing unusual about this; that's why they are called "fantasies." And remember that 21 is very young. Life is only starting to happen; there is a whole lot left to experience. A lot of it will surprise you.


    Quote Originally Posted by Tyger View Post
    I don't usually frequent this forum of adisc, but i saw your thread from the recent list.

    First off, you are who you want to be. Being AB doesn't mean you need to be a specific category. You don't even have to say that you are an AB if you want, but it does make for a convenient way of explaining yourself. There isn't a club membership that says you have to live by certain rules and rights, being AB, or Furry, or sissy, includes usually one or two specific themes that are common to the rest, and then a bunch of personality traits that customize that title to yourself.

    AB: usually means you like to feel like a baby, which can include liking diapers or babyish things.
    Furry: usually means you like anthropomorphic characters. To what depth of liking them is up to you, this may mean that you'd like to be one, or it might mean you like to read comics with them.
    Sissy: from my understanding means that you like to be more feminine from a younger age aspect. For example, princes things and pink. To what extent you like those, is also up to you. Weather you like to have princess posters on your wall, or if you like to wear princess print underwear, or wear frilly dresses.

    You can say you are part of that category if you want, or you can say that you don't feel like that category describes you well because of certain elements of it. For instance, I don't consider myself a sissy, at least yet, but I have a "hello kitty" diaper, a pink diaper with bunnies, and a MLP diaper, but I still don't consider myself a sissy, mostly because I just think they are cute, but from a childish standpoint rather than a feminine childish standpoint.

    Some people might say, "well, you must be a sissy then because you like pink," and if that is what they want to think, then let them, you cant control them. If they want to know what you think though, then define it yourself, you can say, "I like pink, but I don't consider myself a sissy because I don't like some of the other stuff," or, what is more likely based on what you have said, "I like a lot of sissy stuff, but not all of the time, I guess you could say i'm a part time sissy."

    The Adult Baby lifestyle can sometimes be complicated because we are forced to embrace two identities, which then can split into more identities because we are used to changing between two. We don't have multiple personality disorder, because we can control it, and we don't loose recognition of our other personalities, but we do have a more defined separation of public and private personality than some people do. Sometimes it is easiest to refer to yourself as your "little side" and your "adult side," to which you can also split into other categories if you feel inclined. You could say that you have a "little-sissy" side, and a "little-furry" side, and sometimes they collide together. You could also say that you have a "adult-furry" side, which wouldn't commonly collide with your little side unless you were talking about sexuality aspects.

    Separation of personalities isn't uncommon. People may say, "I need to put on my poker face," at which point they become absolute liars, but before hand, they could be the most honest person you know. Being a human isn't a simple thing, and there isn't a simple solution for categorizing a person for 100% of his/her existence. One day you might want to eat cereal for breakfast, the next day you would much rather have bacon and eggs. Try to think of yourself as a Venn-diagram rather than a single circle of things.

    As for the Christian aspect and your dating aspect of the conversation:
    I used to consider myself Christian, but my views have changed, however, i'll try and approach from your point of view. I believe that if Jesus was willing to sit with the sinners (not saying that any of these aspects of your life are a sin, but if you believe that), then he would be willing to sit with you as your AB-furry-sissy self. Humanity is really a beautiful thing because it isn't about all of us becoming clones of Jesus, it is about how Jesus saved imperfect creatures who were not like him, who were different in many ways, and rather than see them be destroyed, he preserved them. People might say, "Well Jesus commanded to be perfect." True, but I don't think it means to be perfect in everything, because that is impossible for humans, it means to be perfect in your love and respect towards others, that is why the verse with that commandment starts with the context of "I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you..." So in other words, love the fact that we are different, and don't just pretend that you do, be perfect in loving other people and respecting their differences, and their struggles.

    As for dating life:
    I'd say, you can try online, but I personally don't think i'm going to do well that way. You are probably best off looking for somebody that fits your personality (introverted/extroverted, clean/sloppy, intellectual/goof, fitness/potato, and so forth). Once you find somebody like that, be sure to address your needs that you can not do without having him/her accept and love before you both become too intimate. To me, that means, before we become exclusive, I need to tell my partner about my little side, and make sure they are happy with me being that way, at least after a little bit of time.

    Best of luck, and sorry this is so long.


    Quote Originally Posted by Snivy View Post
    'ello Kitty!

    You don't have to be exact on who you are. Lots of people are unsure on how to classify themselves. Some people are cat one day and a dog the next day. It's all about a certain cycle you set yourself. You could probably not get an answer till your 24 years old but it's just like a career. People don't know what they want to be when they grow up, when they hit adult hood, they still don't know what they want to be, all you have to do is give it some thought. That does not make you less smaller than what you think dude. Every little goal you accomplish is a gold star in your book and definitely mine.

    What you could do is take a fursona test (They are not always accurate but could give you an idea) and here are some links for you,

    http://www.helloquizzy.com/quizzy/take
    http://www.gotoquiz.com/what_kind_of...our_fursona_be
    http://www.proprofs.com/quiz-school/...animal-mammals

    Of course you will get different results but you could narrow it down to the closest thing you could match about yourself. It's all about personality and as long as you got time, you should be willing enough to take these kinds of tests. Most common fursona's are Dog's, Cat's, Foxes and bunnies. Some people love to be pokemon babyfurs (Which is definitely me) so you can choose a list from a pokemon for the time being and give you an idea on what your real fursona is in the future. It takes time and preparation and alot of patience to determine what your personality, what fur, what activities, and most important what resembles YOU!

    Another note on why it would bother you? Many of people have multiple personalities and some people are mixed like here's an example. Kinda silly but CatDog is a cat and a dog so i'm sure you can be two fursona's. :3 of course it's mostly common to have one because it is who you are and how you act but there is no rule within the furry world that you can have more than one fursona or babyfur in your life. People have a pokemon fursona and a fox fursona that classifies them as who they are.

    You are 21 so you are still young, I wouldn't let this become a complete issue just yet. Enjoy life dude and you don't necessarily need a girlfriend yet. Trust me, (Sorry, No offense ICKaraokegirl) women are a bit dramatic in my book. Wanna hear something funny about the gender's? Listen to this video and watch how accurate men and women are somewhat today.



    You don't have to have a women to be happy dude. My women will be a jumbo jet and her name will be Boeing-777...that will be the love of my life, I don't have to have a partner to be happy because I am 19, I am living young, and I am proud of who I am. Women will sometimes get in your way and change up things. I am not saying all women do this because men do the same way but for you, you don't need a girlfriend yet.

    I have had 3 girlfriends in my life from ages 15-18 and let me tell you that all these women were not my types. Here's my fair share in the stories.

    First Girlfriend


    Second Girlfriend


    Third Girlfriend


    Women are too mello-dramatic to me! Am I gay? No. Am I straight? Yes but for the time being, I don't have any kind of sex drive for males or females so I looked up on who I was and Asexual was ringing a bell and that's who I am...

    You don't need a girlfriend to make yourself happy, just be who you are and if you need a girl, then the right one is around the corner.


    Quote Originally Posted by Gabo12 View Post
    I guess I'll just add in my own personal experience here. I am a guy who for the longest time thought I was a sissy, that just really appealed to me, but then things changed I started gravitating away from the sissy stuff and was more into the baby boy stuff but recently my sissy side has come back (not as strong, but still there). I have come to accept that there are different sides to me, my abdl identity is not static. I guess what I'm trying to get at is don't worry so much about trying to get one singular identity. Just take it slow, experiment and take what you like and drop what you don't.
    Thank you all, for that I really appreciate it, this has been a question I have been struggling with, for years really, because it's hard to know who I am and anyway all of you have good points, btw Sinvy, I fell I'm more of a cat then anything, although I do act like a dog at times, which there are real cats that do that, also Sinvy the video was funny, I love ERB, still I fell even though I'm definitely a guy, I can get along with both genders, and BTW I will get you that plane video. (Oh and the hunger games rules, still I can see why you broke up with your 3 evil ex-girlfriends.)

    ICKaraokegirl, thanks for that and it's okay that you haven't reached out to me, I haven't to you so I think where even there, and I personally think at this point you and Sinvy and everyone here are right in there own way, and gabo12, I may but still, you never know, and I really thank all of you for this.

  7. #7

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    I can't say more then has already be said, but I can say with honesty that you can be a Christian, male, and straight.. and still feel the other things. I really hope you can continue to follow your heart, and find a kind of peace within yourself. Realize that the boxes you've put yourself in are only in your mind. You decide what kind of "guy" you are, for instance. You can even fit what you think of as a girly comfortable within what you think of as being a guy. The sky is really the limits.

    Be true to you. You only have one chance at this life. Don't waste it living someone else's.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by gigglemuffinz View Post
    I can't say more then has already be said, but I can say with honesty that you can be a Christian, male, and straight.. and still feel the other things. I really hope you can continue to follow your heart, and find a kind of peace within yourself. Realize that the boxes you've put yourself in are only in your mind. You decide what kind of "guy" you are, for instance. You can even fit what you think of as a girly comfortable within what you think of as being a guy. The sky is really the limits.

    Be true to you. You only have one chance at this life. Don't waste it living someone else's.
    Good point, gigglemuffinz and I Aggree.

  9. #9

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    If I can make a quick point, I'd just like to say, you're surrounded by a lot of people who may judge and stare, but an even larger group that will accept you for who you are. Just remember no matter how alone, depressed, or isolated you feel, know you have a society that will accept and encourage you <3

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by DLdragongeorge View Post
    If I can make a quick point, I'd just like to say, you're surrounded by a lot of people who may judge and stare, but an even larger group that will accept you for who you are. Just remember no matter how alone, depressed, or isolated you feel, know you have a society that will accept and encourage you <3
    Thanks for that, it was good.

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