Totally ashamed of sissy fetish

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andycandy

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Ever since I was a kid i've had this infatuation with diapers and fantasies about a woman dominating me, making me crossdress,humiliating me, etc.

I don't watch porn but what i'll do is find a hot girl on insta/tumblr and imagine her dominating me in every way and masturbate to that. It almost feels like I am that girl in a way? idk how to explain it.

I am seriously ashamed of this fetish and it is pretty much ruining my life. Everytime I masturbate I can feel the urges becoming stronger and stronger but after i'm finished it all goes away for awhile and comes back.

My main 2 fears are that I won't have a desire for normal sex when it comes time because i'm definatley attracted to women and that i'm a transgender in denial because i'm happy being a man, not that there's anything wrong with it.

Also, funnily enough the last time I crossdressed was when I was 11 years old(21 now) in one of my mom's clothes.
 
andycandy said:
Ever since I was a kid i've had this infatuation with diapers and fantasies about a woman dominating me, making me crossdress,humiliating me, etc.

I don't watch porn but what i'll do is find a hot girl on insta/tumblr and imagine her dominating me in every way and masturbate to that. It almost feels like I am that girl in a way? idk how to explain it.

I am seriously ashamed of this fetish and it is pretty much ruining my life. Everytime I masturbate I can feel the urges becoming stronger and stronger but after i'm finished it all goes away for awhile and comes back.

My main 2 fears are that I won't have a desire for normal sex when it comes time because i'm definatley attracted to women and that i'm a transgender in denial because i'm happy being a man, not that there's anything wrong with it.

Also, funnily enough the last time I crossdressed was when I was 11 years old(21 now) in one of my mom's clothes.

The main thing here is don't be ashamed of it! We all have different kinks and just be true to yourself! Keep your head up im sure everything will work out maybe it is phase or maybe it is apart of you either way just relax and be yourself no harm in what your doing
 
andycandy said:
Ever since I was a kid i've had this infatuation with diapers and fantasies about a woman dominating me, making me crossdress,humiliating me, etc.

I don't watch porn but what i'll do is find a hot girl on insta/tumblr and imagine her dominating me in every way and masturbate to that. It almost feels like I am that girl in a way? idk how to explain it.

I am seriously ashamed of this fetish and it is pretty much ruining my life. Everytime I masturbate I can feel the urges becoming stronger and stronger but after i'm finished it all goes away for awhile and comes back.

My main 2 fears are that I won't have a desire for normal sex when it comes time because i'm definatley attracted to women and that i'm a transgender in denial because i'm happy being a man, not that there's anything wrong with it.

Also, funnily enough the last time I crossdressed was when I was 11 years old(21 now) in one of my mom's clothes.

Can I ask first off, why do you think it's ruining your life? Is it because of the fears? Or something more?

For the second two things.. I think that you'll be just fine for normal sex. I also don't think really enjoying this fetish won't be bad. Even being excited about it, and even preferring it. It's just important to be reasonable and remember your partner will want to do some things too, and it will help out things a lot more if you both give and take. Hopefully your future partner just helps you out with it. If you feel like you might be having a sex addiction however.. that could be a whole other thing.

The second thing.. if you do not want to be a transgender and you are comfortable being a man, then please don't worry. Gender doesn't have to be this blue and pink thing. You can be a man who just enjoys sissy stuff and crossdressing. You absolutely can. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
 
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It sounds like the other side of 50 Shades of Gray. Everyone has secret desires. There are many of us who when regressing, imagine being the opposite gender. I think the part of that desire is out of wanting to be shamed. Maybe we were shamed when we had accidents during potty training. I'm sure there are psychological reasons for all of this. I wouldn't worry about it, but it would be more fulfilling for you if you eventually found a partner who was into the reciprocal side of your specific kink.
 
If you have an honest appetite for vanilla sex, indulging a kink seems unlikely to quench or suppress that. You seem to be worried that you are headed down a one-way, dead-end street of some kind. I doubt that's what's happening. Like gigglemuffinz suggested above, you might simply be somebody who enjoys, among many things, cross-dressing and playing as a girl.

When I was in my late teens, I had a sort of autoerotic fascination with wearing bras and panties. I've referred to this in the past as "crossdressing," but it wasn't exactly that. It was more like playing both sides of a heterosexual relationship simultaneously. For a brief time, this did sort of make me wonder whether the "real thing" would ever happen, whether it would be any good, or whether I even wanted it. But it happened. And it was good -- according to my own indelible definition of "good."

I think there are plenty of non-sissies here who can say similar things about diapers -- that they worried about a sexual attraction to diapers displacing the urge to have sex or somehow spoiling it. But, from what I've seen, these things end up proceeding in parallel more often than not. In a twisted sort of way, I suppose I could label myself a bisexual. On one hand, I desire and maintain a heterosexual relationship (am married). On the other, I have a sexual (and very emotionally one-sided!) relationship with diapers. The two don't mix at all, but then I'm just one data point.

We can be several things at once. It works!
 
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andycandy said:
Ever since I was a kid i've had this infatuation with diapers and fantasies about a woman dominating me, making me crossdress,humiliating me, etc.

I don't watch porn but what i'll do is find a hot girl on insta/tumblr and imagine her dominating me in every way and masturbate to that. It almost feels like I am that girl in a way? idk how to explain it.

I am seriously ashamed of this fetish and it is pretty much ruining my life. Everytime I masturbate I can feel the urges becoming stronger and stronger but after i'm finished it all goes away for awhile and comes back.

My main 2 fears are that I won't have a desire for normal sex when it comes time because i'm definatley attracted to women and that i'm a transgender in denial because i'm happy being a man, not that there's anything wrong with it.

Also, funnily enough the last time I crossdressed was when I was 11 years old(21 now) in one of my mom's clothes.

I can relate, I fell relatively happy beaing a straight heterosexual male, and those same fears, too, and I'm definitely attracted to women, but I'm afraid because it, seemed to take over. The best advice I can give you is to not let it, take over, have your own life, zipperless made a schedule to schedule AB time, and little time somewhere, if that helps. Also I'll pray for you, Okay. 😺😺😺😺😺😺
 
Don't be ashamed of what you like. If it makes you happy do it!
 
Iv had these thoughts before, and still here and there after having my pleasure i feel like i need to take of my diaper but i have found that once you have somone who can accept it it kinda fades. But ity is one of those personal struggles that only get worse until you accept yourself usually.
 
andycandy said:
Ever since I was a kid i've had this infatuation with diapers and fantasies about a woman dominating me, making me crossdress,humiliating me, etc.

I don't watch porn but what i'll do is find a hot girl on insta/tumblr and imagine her dominating me in every way and masturbate to that. It almost feels like I am that girl in a way? idk how to explain it.

I am seriously ashamed of this fetish and it is pretty much ruining my life. Everytime I masturbate I can feel the urges becoming stronger and stronger but after i'm finished it all goes away for awhile and comes back.

My main 2 fears are that I won't have a desire for normal sex when it comes time because i'm definatley attracted to women and that i'm a transgender in denial because i'm happy being a man, not that there's anything wrong with it.

Also, funnily enough the last time I crossdressed was when I was 11 years old(21 now) in one of my mom's clothes.

We are beings made to be sexual .
Now that being said when we are young it feels good in diapers some do not for get it also feels good when mommys caring you in that nite gown the silk feel good to now you mite not know those felling come from but some
Level your body does.

Your not a bad person no we cant turn off what we have over thousand of years development make us what we are.
Like my pampers and stuff I tryed to give it up but its a part of me.
Your not alone never were.
Just no there no right or wrong we all have things that makes us happy you and i just picked a defrent stuff .
Take care.
 
my internet has been down for a few days but these replies are so good lol, I just felt like if I ever told a long term partner my kinks they'd be really really weirded out because this is so out there and bizarre, probably pretty hard for people to understand since even I myself don't understand why i'm like this. But it is nice to know that i'm not alone. But yeah, my main worry is that my kinks will take the need for normal sex from me which I think i'm still interested in but I haven't had sex in 5 years lol. But at the very least I guess female domination isn't hard to ask for in a partner sometimes, like switch off and stuff.

Like others here I derive something different from diapers, while I don't particularly enjoy the mommy thing my enjoyment from them is like imagining a powerful female forcing me into them. They are just a part of the domination factor for me
 
andycandy said:
I just felt like if I ever told a long term partner my kinks they'd be really really weirded out because this is so out there and bizarre, probably pretty hard for people to understand since even I myself don't understand why i'm like this.

Good piece of advice, I wouldn't spend much time trying to decipher how you ended up with the desires you have. Considering the myriad of things that could cause such things to pop up, and the heterogeneity of our biology and social situations (variation) who knows. I mean, I have some ideas as to how I am (which may or may not be correct) but that's about it. It doesn't really change much.

Another piece of advice, considering the multitude of people out there, it's not hard to date a kinkster. They won't be weirded out. It's really who you choose to date.

But yeah, my main worry is that my kinks will take the need for normal sex from me which I think i'm still interested in but I haven't had sex in 5 years lol.

Overly worrying about it can create anxiety in a multiple of forms. And I will be honest, porn can hurt your sex and learning to stimulate yourself continually in one way. I've slept with a woman who could only get off with a 1000rpm vibe, for example -haha.

I actually hate to reduce it to a fetish honestly (female domination) and feel that its dehumanizing to both people. It's a BDSM relationship dynamic. AND it's extremely common amongst men. If that's a type of relationship, or sex life you seek, go you.

I've been a dominating femme, the submissve femme, dominating male...just enjoy yourself.
 
yeah like, the problem is irl nobody would ever think I'd be into stuff like this because I guess you could say i'm a stereotypical man, beard, really deep voice etc. So I feel like if I told a girl about this she'd like freak out and i'd become a laughing stock amongst people lol, maybe an irrational thought but yeah lol. But then I do have domineering thoughts as well so I guess I could go both ways. I guess my kick just gets me off way more than normal sex would. But what can I do, just gotta find a girl into this stuff or take a chance and hope the girl i'm with can understand my desires and in turn I won't judge her for hers

Sorry if this isn't PG-13 by the way. But yeah, I also feel like I could compromise I suppose like bdsm/girl on top is good enough for me
 
I too like many here have succumbed to the sissy fetish. I have to say, it will rule your life if you let it. I'm in my sixties now and was once where you are now. You might as well accept your sissy side. It's there and it won't go away. The point is, don't let it rule your life. From experience I can tell you that overindulgence will only reinforce the desire to play sissy. It will imprint in you and take over if you let it.

Instead of dwelling on it get out and enjoy life. It's too easy to hide away and play our baby games. Get a LOT of aerobic exercise. It really helps clear your head.I liked to ride bicycles. I get the impression that you don't have a gf. It's really rough being alone. Loneliness for me was the toughest part of my twenties. Loneliness also reinforces our desire to indulge in our fantasies. Interestingly I met my wife when I least suspected to. She was a cashier at a small store and picked me out and broke the ice. The point is, you have to be out there to meet someone.

Our fetishes are like an addiction. They take on their own life and will control us if we let them. I was always trying to think of new ways to get a bigger thrill out of the fetish. I started out with plastic baby pants and grew it into full blown dl. That morphed with my fantasizing into abdl. Always looking for a new thrill I turned it into Sissy ab/dl. The sissy thing is like drinking. It's great to get a buzz on once in a while. Even get wasted. But there's a great danger in letting it take over.

I guess what I'm saying, is try to keep it in perspective. It ain't gonna go way... What you can do is accept it and don't run away with it. Use that energy to get on with more constructive endeavors. Make sure you "sissy" responsibly......
 
Yeah, diapers and femdom/crossdressing have been my fetish for as long as I can remember and i'm noticing myself becoming less social and staying inside more fantasizing about new ways to get off. Yeah, i'm single and a virgin so my fear is that when sex actually happens I won't desire to ever have "normal" sex ... idk what to do at this point though because like I love getting off. I look forward to the once or twice a day I can come home and just fantasize while masturbating. I can accept the fetish for what it is but idk how to stop it from consuming me because I also would love to live my life "normally"
 
Andy,

Thing is with any fetish is that it is not a problem if it does not hurt anyone else and it does not interfere with 'normal' life. I found that once I accepted that I was a DL / LG / Sissy I could manage things better. Now, In my case this led to me being able to unlock that I was also transgender so perhaps my case is different. Ultimately though, it is not worth questioning where these desires come from. That way lies mental health problems. You are better off indulging the fetish but managing it such that it does not rule your life...

Really, who does it hurt? No one.

Hugs,

DLE
 
Seen this posted before hand but it's the only thing I can advise.. if you love something and it makes you happy, don't be ashamed of it. Embrace it! You don't have to share it in public if you don't want, there is always the privacy of your own home too :)
 
sadly the most I can do is just buy and hide diapers in my house from my family atm. I'm 21 and still at home but if I get my own place in the future i'm of course going to buy girly clothes, etc. I haven't actually ever crossdressed in my life except for when I was around 10 in one of my mother's dresses. Diapers aren't enough for me anymore. I wish I had the courage to buy panties/skirts lol
 
That's hard to do around family or people in your house, that's for sure. I got caught while I living with my parents about 12 years ago and they tried sending me to a therapist who thought I was wacko. Living on your own, the world opens up for you and home sweet home means a lot more!
 
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