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Thread: Don't know how to proceed (Funny situation)

  1. #1

    Default Don't know how to proceed (Funny situation)

    I don't know whether to laugh or what to do right now.

    Well........ I was browsing around Fetlife in a local BDSM group that occasionally hosts littles events and I stumbled across the account of someone I know fairly well and see quite often. Like this guy had his picture up and everything. At first I was like nah this can't be him then I read his bio which washed away all doubt.

    So where I'm at now is whether I should friend request him, bring it up casually in private next time I see him, or just totally drop it. My rationality for bringing it up is that I now know he's not a "Vanilla" per se. I'd have someone to talk to if I needed support or anything.

    Idk lol this is more humorous than anything to me since I've never experienced it.

  2. #2


    What a funny coincidence! It's certainly your call. Does it really look like his interests and yours correspond in some way about this? I've met some people who wear kinkiness on their sleeves (I use them because that's the only way I'd know) and it didn't make me want to share. If you think you want to add this to your relationship, I think I'd talk to him directly. It can be a small world sometimes.

  3. #3


    oh that is awesome! i saw a not-close co-worker on fetlife with a list of interests that completely didn't match mine. i see him around, rarely, and i have that memory in my head but it doesn't bother me.

    you did both put yourselves out there for finding, and he got found.

    if you do have a significant-enough amount in common to have a fun conversation, i recommend finding a sneaky way to drop his fetlife nickname in a private conversation. for example, i'd find you in the breakroom and say "man, i didn't get any sleep last night. the neighbor's dogs kept freaking out... sounded like a loud badger or something." i think i might suddenly have your full attention. you'd be able to take the conversation from there, if you wished :-D

  4. #4


    Send him a friend request. You found him on fetlife not facebook so he might not take to well to bringing this stuff up in public.

  5. #5


    Quote Originally Posted by MasterPython View Post
    Send him a friend request. You found him on fetlife not facebook so he might not take to well to bringing this stuff up in public.
    Yes, I think I would tread lightly. You might drop a hint and see if he bites, but if not, I'd let it go.

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