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Thread: I just don't get it

  1. #1

    Default I just don't get it

    Ok, so I'm not sure if this is the right category for this. But I just have a little rant/looking for advice.

    Ok, I myself am not a AB/Dl but I have a very good friend who is. I didn't know about it for a long time and after he told me I was really very ok with it. It didn't freak me out as much as it could have. Anyways, at first he basically spilled his guts about everything. And even wore diapers and had a bottle and all that when we would hang out. I even wore them sometimes too. But now it's like he's afraid to. And I'm not sure why. I'm trying to be supportive of him cause I want him to be happy and comfortable around me. But it's like he's hiding now. How should I go about helping him come out of his shell again?? I really just want him to be happy. Thanks

  2. #2


    First of all, thanks for being an inherently awesome human being in regard to this situation in general. To the issue...Is it possible that he likes you? LIKES you likes you?

  3. #3


    For those of us who have been this way since we were very young, shame is often a very big deal. The "binge/purge cycle" is common for those who haven't gotten to a good place yet as an ABDL. The prototypical example of that is to go nuts, buy a lot of stuff, get crazy into it and then dispose of it all in a frenzy of self-loathing. Since people are different, it's not always so precise. I hardly ever actually disposed of things but the self-loathing was strong. I despised myself for my weakness and for my continued desire that I was sure I would never again yield to (because it was so terrible). Eventually I learned this was a crock and accepting myself as imperfect and a bit strange led to ongoing improvement.

    What you describe sounds similar to me, although without knowing more about your friend, it's difficult to say. I never had anyone to help me with this when I was at my worst. I'm speculating but I think if I had told someone and they got back to me later and said something to the effect of "I really enjoyed spending time with you like that and seeing that side of you. If you ever want to do it again, let me know" might have helped. I feel like I'm speculating heavily off little information, so take this all with a big grain of salt but it might be worth considering. Thanks for trying.

  4. #4


    I'm gonna go with Trevor on this one. It could be the result of sudden shame/binge feelings. It is easy to become a bit embarrassed about it out of nowhere.

    I find that the most supportive thing people who know about me can do to really make me feel like they accept it, is if they buy something as a gift for my little side. I'm not saying that the best way to show you care is to buy something, but you know that if somebody is willing to look online for stuff that applies to your own fetish/oddity to make you happy, then they must really be quite accepting of it.

    If you want to show some encouragement to your friend to be more open again, I'd say, you could go and buy a small pack or sample pack of a fancy diaper and say "Hey, i thought you would enjoy trying these," or buy a bottle, paci, or stuffed animal for him.

    The other thing that you could do is try talking to him about it and saying that it was fun to do, like Trevor said. Or you could also just give it time and see what happens, but giving it time might not be the best route because after a while he might get the idea that you didn't enjoy it much and therefor are probably happier without him being babyish around you, and then he'll stop thinking about trying ever again.

    Simple comments though can probably be enough to make him start feeling comfortable again. Things that imply that he is a baby. He is tired one day so you say, "looks like baby needs a nap," or something random that would seem sort of appropriate for the situation, but still targeted at his little side.

  5. #5


    Talk to HIM about this. Exactly what you told us. Say that you're worried because you feel like he is hiding all of this, but you completely support him, etc.

  6. #6


    Quote Originally Posted by 3Rooks View Post
    First of all, thanks for being an inherently awesome human being in regard to this situation in general. To the issue...Is it possible that he likes you? LIKES you likes you?
    First, thanks for saying I'm awesome lol. But I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me as more than a friend. He's practically my brother.

    Everyone else, thanks so much for the advice! I Know that the best thing to do is talk to him about it. But I don't want to make him feel awkward or whatever by bringing it up. But I'll try the next time we hang out. Thanks again You guys are great!

  7. #7


    It could be something as simple as he's feeling a bit dazed and confused, and is simply 'backing off' for fear of overwhelming you with too much, too soon. Even if this isn't truthfully a problem (and hooray to you for being so very cool about it! *high five*) I could absolutely see where he'd feel a bit concerned about affecting your friendship over something like this.

    I'd suggest to do as others have said, and simply try and talk to him to explain to him the limits of your support, so he doesn't have to guess for himself.

  8. #8


    I actually kind of like the gift idea. A plushie is the safest, though actually buying a sample pack of nice diapers is the least ambiguous. But something that says you know, you're cool with it, and you just want him to be comfortable. It's extra effort on your part, and probably awkward in the moment, but it will get the message across.

  9. #9


    Lots of good advice here. I agree with the gift idea of a stuffed animal or a pack of diapers. Let us know what the turnout is.

  10. #10


    Ok, so I sorta talked about it with him a little. I didn't buy any special gifts tho. And then he found me on here and that made us talk more about it and it's all good now. Thanks guys!

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