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Thread: AB/DL and psychologists

  1. #1

    Default AB/DL and psychologists

    So I'm new to the ab/dl scene, having just embraced my little side. I'm currently working with a psychologist. Started out as a way to figure out how to love myself more (I've always been overweight and self-conscious), then as demons appeared I became quite depressed, and now it's working on that. Good thing is now I'm pretty sure why I'm an ab/dl.

    But I digress. I don't want to tell her about my ab side, although she's cool, she's also human. But my question is, do you think not telling her about it is harmful to my recovery from depression? Like, hiding something that at the moment is pretty big in my life. But I haven't come out to anyone, and I'm TERRIFIED that even though she has to remain professional, she'll judge me and stuff. But yet, being depressed is horrible, and I want to try and overcome it.

    I guess I want to know your experiences with your ab/dl side and mental health professionals.

    -Mooey

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by BabyGirlMoo View Post
    So I'm new to the ab/dl scene, having just embraced my little side. I'm currently working with a psychologist. Started out as a way to figure out how to love myself more (I've always been overweight and self-conscious), then as demons appeared I became quite depressed, and now it's working on that. Good thing is now I'm pretty sure why I'm an ab/dl.

    But I digress. I don't want to tell her about my ab side, although she's cool, she's also human. But my question is, do you think not telling her about it is harmful to my recovery from depression? Like, hiding something that at the moment is pretty big in my life. But I haven't come out to anyone, and I'm TERRIFIED that even though she has to remain professional, she'll judge me and stuff. But yet, being depressed is horrible, and I want to try and overcome it.

    I guess I want to know your experiences with your ab/dl side and mental health professionals.

    -Mooey
    Hi Mooey,

    I can relate to what you're experiencing. It took me years to admit it to a therapist and when I did, it felt excruciatingly awkward; nothing to do with the therapist but because my desire to dress as a sissy AB was bound up in so much shame and embarrassment for me. My therapist at the time supported it and said it was a very inventive way to give myself comfort. I know just how difficult it can be to admit to another person your AB side but any good psychotherapist or psychologist will not judge you. If they do, my advice is to walk away and find someone with whom you can work on discussing your AB desires, if you think it's appropriate.

    I can't tell you whether or not to bring it up; that's a choice you need to make using your own judgement but in my case, there is a crystal clear link between me dressing as a sissy and comfort / stress relief, which all goes back to a traumatic childhood.

    Thankfully, I only came across one therapist (a dramatherapist, not exactly revered in the world of psychotherapy) who didn't support me expressing my little side. I have yet to tell my current therapist but I know I will be safe to do so, given how I have been in recent sessions with her.

    Wish you all the best in your recovery and that you make the decisions right for you.

    BL

    xxx

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlankieLover View Post
    It took me years to admit it to a therapist and when I did, it felt excruciatingly awkward; nothing to do with the therapist but because my desire to dress as a sissy AB was bound up in so much shame and embarrassment for me.
    Same here, minus having told anyone IRL. I feel like it'd be easier if it was purely sexual, for me, but it runs a lot deeper than that, and it's the stuff I have to accept alongside it that eats me up. I haven't had any negative reactions from people who do know and I don't expect any in the future; the shame is all my own. The call is coming from inside the house.

    Anyways, I find that when I have something to say, but am unwilling to say it, it's because I haven't really acknowledged whatever it is; like, that I've only thought about it in a shallow, detached way, and if I tried to talk about it "prematurely", I'd freeze up because I wouldn't have my thoughts sorted out yet. That's in combination with perfectionism (bad), though. I don't know if you feel the need to "script" things ahead of time the way I do.

  4. #4

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    I told my therapist and it was very helpful. For me though it was important because my parents knew about it and it was the cause of a ton of stress for me because they were not very accepting. The first two therapists I had were because of them, and the third was by my own decision so I could recover from my experience I had been through (the first two were very religious in their psycho therapy ideals).

    In my opinion, sure it can be awkward, but not as much if you feel like you have a good reason to tell. If you feel like the fear of being found out as a little, or even the confusion about what being little is going to do to your life is something that causes you stress, then I think telling your therapist about your little side will be very important. Also, it can be useful for them to understand that you use this as a type of coping mechanism. I think telling a therapist as a first person to tell is a very useful thing to do because the first time you tell somebody is always going to be awkward, but therapists are lawfully not allowed to tell anybody about it or they loose their license to practice, so essentially, you know for sure that they aren't going to spread rumor. If your therapist acts all weird about it afterwards, you just go find a new one.

    There are probably situations where a therapist doesn't need to know about your little side, but I personally feel like a little side is too much a part of a AB's life to leave out of a therapists realm of understanding when trying to help.

  5. #5

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    My thought is to ask first how much you trust the therapist. As Tyger mentions, some people have had bad experiences with therapists and I don't think I would share if I didn't feel comfortable with the person.

    On the other hand, if I liked the therapist and already knew him or her well, I'd definitely share it. I think ABDL is pretty core to most of our identities and it is info that will help the therapist do a better job helping you.

  6. #6

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    It's interesting to me that this question has surfaced today as I dreamed last night that I was in a mental facility going to group therapy. I remember being confused as to why I was there. I said to the Dr., my mom took my drivers license away from me two weeks ago, but she gave it back to me because I was getting better, so why am I here?

    I had this reoccurring dream because when I was in college, she did send me to a large residential mental facility outside of Princeton. I had come home for dinner, and at the table, I started crying and couldn't stop. I went back to my school, but she searched my bedroom and found my diapers and gay porn. She made the appointment and I had to see a psychiatrist.

    I can remember waiting in the waiting room by myself, wondering what would happen. My mom had set up the appointment and told him why I was coming, so when I went into his office, I had to tell him that I wore and used diapers and that I was gay, had a male lover, etc. He really didn't understand what having a diaper fetish meant, as he said I would outgrow it. He was more concerned about the homosexuality and liking boys, as this was 1970. Homosexuality was illegal and it could get you committed against your will. I eventually talked my mom out of going to any more sessions.

    Things are different now, thank goodness. I think telling him about liking diapers depends on how you feel about participating in that sort of activity. If you are experiencing stress, or guilt because of it, then it's something you should talk about. If you're okay with it and it doesn't seem to be impacting your quality of life, it may not be important. It's something you can discuss later when you fell more comfortable as it is an important part of who you are.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    He was more concerned about the homosexuality and liking boys, as this was 1970. Homosexuality was illegal and it could get you committed against your will. I eventually talked my mom out of going to any more sessions.
    Wow, off topic of the thread, but I just looked up the history of laws against gay relations, and holy crap, I didn't know that it was still illegal in some states up till 2003! That is crazy!

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyger View Post
    Wow, off topic of the thread, but I just looked up the history of laws against gay relations, and holy crap, I didn't know that it was still illegal in some states up till 2003! That is crazy!
    The great poet, Alan Ginsburg was committed into a mental institution against his will because he was openly gay. He wrote the collection, "Howl" as a rant against that incarceration. It was a tough time to live as gay. My SO and I went to a diner late at night, and a bunch of guys about our age, started a fight with us, just because one of our party was looking at him. I of course was benching 200 lbs so I wasn't touched. I guess they saw my arms. But it was tense until we left. I might add that the restaurant staff did nothing as this fight was starting to take off right there in their restaurant. No one cared about our kind as we were entirely on our own.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlankieLover View Post
    Hi Mooey,

    I can relate to what you're experiencing. It took me years to admit it to a therapist and when I did, it felt excruciatingly awkward; nothing to do with the therapist but because my desire to dress as a sissy AB was bound up in so much shame and embarrassment for me. My therapist at the time supported it and said it was a very inventive way to give myself comfort. I know just how difficult it can be to admit to another person your AB side but any good psychotherapist or psychologist will not judge you. If they do, my advice is to walk away and find someone with whom you can work on discussing your AB desires, if you think it's appropriate.

    I can't tell you whether or not to bring it up; that's a choice you need to make using your own judgement but in my case, there is a crystal clear link between me dressing as a sissy and comfort / stress relief, which all goes back to a traumatic childhood.


    xxx
    That's the thing, is that here, I don't have shame of my little side, but the thought of it off the internet, in real life, I do harbour a lot of shame and embarrassment and guilt, too. But as like you, I now, from having worked with my psychologist, am quite sure that my littleness is from having had a hard childhood. Well, in a nutshell at least. I guess I still haven't 100% come to terms with it all, since I just recently started embracing my little side instead of pushing it away.

    Thanks everyone, you've been super helpful. I think that I will probably tell her, although possibly in a few weeks when other things are more sorted. You know, one issue at a time!
    I'll keep you posted, hopefully when it happens it goes well.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by BabyGirlMoo View Post
    That's the thing, is that here, I don't have shame of my little side, but the thought of it off the internet, in real life, I do harbour a lot of shame and embarrassment and guilt, too.
    I think it's normal to feel differently about things in different contexts. Like, you wouldn't want to discuss your bathroom habits in public with a stranger, or drop your pants and do your thing on the sidewalk, but I doubt anyone's ashamed just of the fact that they urinate and defecate occasionally.

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