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Thread: I've been thinking of coming out to my parents.

  1. #1

    Default I've been thinking of coming out to my parents.

    Before anyone asks why, I'll explain right now:

    1. It's something I feel I need to get out of the way before I move away soon.
    2. I feel like I need to tell them the truth.
    3. I've grown tired of hiding in the proverbial closet all my life, and...
    4. I'd like to do my diaper wearing (discreetly) sometime without shocking them if they happen to get a glimpse of me wearing a diaper or if they open up a package addressed to me only to find diapers.

    Now, with that out of the way, I need advice. My parents are conservative Christians and I am, too. In fact, my dad happens to pastor the church I attend and my mom is the secretary there. If I come out to them, all I want from them is for them to understand and accept my diaper fetish and to not judge me if they see me with them.

    So, how do I come out as DL without them thinking I'm some sort of pervert (because I know I'm not)? Any tips or advice? Yes, I am serious about coming out, but I'm willing to risk it.

  2. #2

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    The first two items on your list don't really explain why you would decide to do this, particularly when with the situation you describe isn't likely to lead to a positive outcome. I can understand the urge to tell but I don't think it's usually a very good idea and what you describe makes it sound like even less of a good idea. As is often explained here, there's a difference between privacy and secrecy and this is the typical case where it arises. Choosing not to share something that doesn't serve any significant purpose isn't a lie, and it isn't hiding, it's simply maintaining your own privacy. I hope you will give further consideration as to what possible benefit this would have for both you and your parents before proceeding. At the very least, move out first, and live your life on your own a bit. Take stock of that new situation and you may well see that telling is not as important as you believe it to be right now. You can always tell. You can't undo it.

  3. #3

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    Well, when you prefix Christian with the word conservative I get a little worried. In my experience, conservative Christians are not normally too enthusiastic about things that fall outside the realm of 'normality.' Out of interest, do you have problems rationalizing your diaper wearing with your religious beliefs? No need to answer that if you don't want to but I do know other very religious people have struggled with this matter. Anyway, clearly wearing diapers could certainly be considered abnormal to a conservative of any type. If you think that you absolutely must tell your parents, why not first consider their views on other topics such as homosexuality and gay marriage? Perhaps tell them you have a gay friend and see how they react. If they are very opposed to these things then I think your best bet is to not tell them. I wanted to tell my mom once but decided not to after feedback I received on this board. Now she is gone so there's no chance anymore. But you go to your dad's service each week so you probably already know the answer to this question. By the way, the reason I wanted to tell my mom was to see if she had any insight as to why I turned out the way I did. But at the end of the day it doesn't really matter. We are who we are and we do what we do! If there is a God he would love us diapers and all!

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by dprpantsnpypants View Post
    Well, when you prefix Christian with the word conservative I get a little worried. In my experience, conservative Christians are not normally too enthusiastic about things that fall outside the realm of 'normality.' Out of interest, do you have problems rationalizing your diaper wearing with your religious beliefs? No need to answer that if you don't want to but I do know other very religious people have struggled with this matter. Anyway, clearly wearing diapers could certainly be considered abnormal to a conservative of any type. If you think that you absolutely must tell your parents, why not first consider their views on other topics such as homosexuality and gay marriage? Perhaps tell them you have a gay friend and see how they react. If they are very opposed to these things then I think your best bet is to not tell them. I wanted to tell my mom once but decided not to after feedback I received on this board. Now she is gone so there's no chance anymore. But you go to your dad's service each week so you probably already know the answer to this question. By the way, the reason I wanted to tell my mom was to see if she had any insight as to why I turned out the way I did. But at the end of the day it doesn't really matter. We are who we are and we do what we do! If there is a God he would love us diapers and all!
    Wow long time no see glad to see you on .

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by StormTroper View Post
    Before anyone asks why, I'll explain right now:

    Alright I will give you advice but I am going to need to ask you a lot of questions in order to understand the details and be able to give you advice that is effective.




    1. It's something I feel I need to get out of the way before I move away soon.

    I don't make assumptions so I am going to ask you the following question. Are you wanting to do this because you want to be honest with both yourself as well as your parents in a way that is constructive and healthy for you?



    2. I feel like I need to tell them the truth.

    I take it you are tired of having to lie to your parents correct? Or is this something else entirely? Or is it because you are tired of having to lie to your parents and something else on top of that? If there is something else please enlighten me as I do not want to assume anything at this point.





    3. I've grown tired of hiding in the proverbial closet all my life, and...

    You are free to choose anything you want to do. But you are not free from the consequences. Are you prepared to deal with the consequences? Don't get me totally wrong but it may or may not be worth it for you to do this but that is dependent on your specific circumstances that no one here can fully understand. Maybe it is worth it but I suggest you take a good hard look at what can go wrong if you do this.




    4. I'd like to do my diaper wearing (discreetly) sometime without shocking them if they happen to get a glimpse of me wearing a diaper or if they open up a package addressed to me only to find diapers.

    That may not be possible actually. But I could be wrong as well because I don't know your parents that well either. Once again though this is your choice and I will respect either one you make.




    Now, with that out of the way, I need advice. My parents are conservative Christians and I am, too. In fact, my dad happens to pastor the church I attend and my mom is the secretary there. If I come out to them, all I want from them is for them to understand and accept my diaper fetish and to not judge me if they see me with them.

    So, how do I come out as DL without them thinking I'm some sort of pervert (because I know I'm not)? Any tips or advice? Yes, I am serious about coming out, but I'm willing to risk it.

    Well here are some links that will help you as well as give advice on whether you should go through with this or not.http://aboutabdl.weebly.com/coming-out.html


    This link will give you advice on how not to come out provided you seriously do so. http://aboutabdl.weebly.com/how-not-to-come-out.html


    If you do decide to come out make sure you show your parents these links as well as it will help calm them down possibly if you get a bad reaction from them. http://aboutabdl.weebly.com/abdl-pho...out-abdls.html
    http://aboutabdl.weebly.com/abdls-on...reotyping.html

    These links might calm them down a lot as it was intended for either ABDL teens or just parents of children that have grown old enough to be legally a adult. http://aboutabdl.weebly.com/informat...drenteens.html

    With this advice I would highly recommend that you think really hard about what you can gain as opposed to what you could lose. Provided that you do come out to your parents I highly recommend that you at least read the links above and make sure you tell them this after you move. I would recommend that you tell them (if at all) literally after you have moved the last box into your new home. Your still under their roof until that happens. If your parents try to tell you that this is a sin ask them where is it written in the bible that says wearing diapers is a sin? Do not get confrontational and make sure you tell them that this is a part of who and what you are. It's not going to stop and it's not going to go away. Then emphasize that this is not going to go away no matter how much you want it to go away. Show your parents exactly how dangerous it can be to try to make you stop even assuming you want to stop. If they really care about you (which they probably do) then I don't think they are going to that argumentative about how to handle this.Give them time to come around if that is needed but always remember to not be confrontational if that day comes.Other then that I can only give advice based upon the answers to my question or any additional information you give me through either a PM or openly on this thread.

  6. #6

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    Well, you're lucky in that you've had some really good responders get on here, starting with Trevor, though all the responses have been well thought out. It think you've gotten good advise. What we can't determine, is how your parents might react because we don't know them. What we do know are all the cliches regarding conservative Christians, and maybe they don't apply to your parents. I do think that it might be a good idea to consider their stance on other alternative lifestyles, as dyperpants suggested. If they're negative toward those individuals, it doesn't bode well for someone who wants to wear diapers.

    Like others have said, it would be best to sleep on this for awhile. If you still want to tell, before you do that, you might give us a better understanding of your parents. We might be better able to advise you, having that information.

  7. #7

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    To be totally honest, is it really yourself that you're struggling with. Perhaps you are feeling that having your parents 'blessing' will help you to accept yourself. Of course I don't actually know your situation, but this is a revelation that could potentially destroy your relationship with your parents.

    It is possible to maintain your privacy and keep a healthy relationship with your parents. Yes, having the freedom of mind to not be worrying about surprises would be good, but whoa...is that worth the risk. Actually, if your parents would lovingly embrace your DL/DF side now, then they would also accept you, should they accidentally discover it. The opposite could be awful. Even if they do accept the truth, there's no guarantee they'll condone it.

    Many things are held in secret or in confidence for good reason....even those we most love, don't necessarily need to know everything about us.

    I have a fantastic relationship with my folks, but I could never tell them about my little side...yes they would struggle with it, and yes I believe they would still love me, but I know it would hurt them so why would I tell them.

    My partner on the other hand, well I reached a point where she had to know...it was only fair, and well I knew that she could cope...mind you it hasn't all been easy, but we're doing ok.

    Please listen to everyone's sound advice. Think it through really carefully, and make absolutely sure that it's necessary before spilling the beans. This is not something you can un-do.

    Good luck

  8. #8

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    Besides knowing more about your parents, this would help my answer: What religion are you? Some religions seem to be a little more accepting than others.

  9. #9

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    Welp. That is quite a bit of input. Thanks, guys. Now, let's see if I can respond to most, if not all of it.

    Trevor: They are going to eventually find out about me being a DL, and I'd rather that be because I came out and not because they found me with diapers or me looking at this site or whatnot. In other words, I want to be honest with myself and them. But I do agree: maybe I should wait a little longer before I come out.

    dprpants: Ok, to clarify, that's not exactly what I meant by 'conservative'. We're not the kind of geezer church that thinks electric guitars are satanic or whatnot, but we do believe that homosexuality is a sin. HOWEVER, we'd never shut them out or even give them unfair treatment just because they're gay. Maybe I have a better chance? Also, it actually took me several years to come to terms with both my Christianity and my ABDLism, and I've resolved (in my opinion) that they are compatible, as long as the latter takes a backseat to the former. I get this feeling that my being DL is a Chekhov's Gun of sorts, actually.

    accepted: I answered your first question, I think. As for your second, I wasn't lying to them per se, but they have sometimes caught me stealing and using diapers when I was little until my preteens, so they might know already if something's up. The consequences: I very highly doubt they would disown me, but I think the worst that can happen is if they send me to a shrink. I'd probably be prepared to deal with him. I am a very respected member of the family, though, so I sincerely think that the consequences may be minimal, but probably not. I don't know for sure. Thanks for the links, btw. I'd probably need that later.

    ozbub: Frankly, I do need the support of people I actually know as opposed to someone on the internet. And I think the only ones who can give that support are my parents. Since I live in a fairly small town, it wouldn't be a stretch to say that I'm the only ABDL member living there. But, like I said earlier, I'm probably going to tie up loose ends first before coming out. Still, though, I want to come out as smoothly and calmly as possible for the best possible outcome. Wish me luck. (Oh, wait...)

    zipperless: I'm a Pentecostal Christian, associated with the Assemblies of God. We believe stuff like the doctrine of the Trinity, that the Bible's the absolute Word of God, the baptism in water and of the Holy Spirit, etc. Does that help?

    Again, thanks for your input. I do hope to successfully get this off my chest someday.

  10. #10

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    coming out to anyone is hard. i came out to my mum today, and she was pretty cool about it. kind of weirded out, but accepting.
    i'd say go for it, especially if you feel it's the best and healthiest thing for you to do.
    i hope your parents take it well and don't judge you (there's no reason to, but you know how people can be).
    good luck!

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