Page 1 of 10 12345 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 93

Thread: Why do we focus on the non-sexual ?

  1. #1

    Default Why do we focus on the non-sexual ?

    On adisc over the time I have been here i have noticed a trend that mostly only occurs here, that we focus heavily on abdl being non sexual and we are always quick to emphasize the non sexual aspects of on a personal level and marginalize it on a community level.
    Which in the same stroke demonizes the sexual side of abdl and paints in a negative light. Isn't this an inherent failing as a support community?

    I think generally speaking, though its impossible to study or say for certain, that for the majority of the abdl world this is at some level a sexual fetish. Thats an especially easy claim to make for Dlís i think. That being said im not claiming its entirely sexual just that its often there in some quantity for most.
    Which confuses me as to why some people claim contrary and why the nonsexual side is so upheld and emphasized.

    Anyway I think its really important to explore, understand and accept the sexual side for us that have it, because it is commonly if not massively a part of the binge/purge cycle. Many of us if not most go through massively feelings of shame during these occurrences and I think as a community we can often heighten this shame.
    A side note is that I think many religious abdls struggle with this even more(mostly abrahamic religions) due to the concept of sin and sexual act being linked, its a common enough thread topic on adisc.

    Anyway this is 4 am ramblings so use salt, and it is merely opinion/feeling that i have developed over time, but it is a failing i know I have had in the past, in which I instantly extol the non-sexual values first over anything else and have known many others who do.
    Why are we often so scared to accept our sexual nature.

  2. #2

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by SchrodingersSpy View Post
    On adisc over the time I have been here i have noticed a trend that mostly only occurs here, that we focus heavily on abdl being non sexual and we are always quick to emphasize the non sexual aspects of on a personal level and marginalize it on a community level.
    I've seen this view taken of ADISC on other sites, and I think it's a bit unfair to us, though I can see where people might get that impression.

    ADISC has a PG13 rule. This does limit how graphic people are allowed to be, but we don't remove threads on the basis of talking about sexual facets of ABDL. In practice though, it does mean a lot fewer overt threads about such are posted here.

    The other side, I think, is a general community culture towards being inclusive leads to more frequent reminders that a significant minority of ABDLs are not sexually interested, and moreover, there are a lot of ABDLs who have some such interest but don't see it to be as large a factor as other interests. I find on other sites that nonsexual ABDLs can get drowned out in the noise much more easily than here.




    Quote Originally Posted by SchrodingersSpy View Post
    I think generally speaking, though its impossible to study or say for certain, that for the majority of the abdl world this is at some level a sexual fetish.
    Bittergrey has pretty convincing survey data on this over at Understanding Infantilism, actually. Yes, it's just an internet sample, but it's sufficiently lopsided to be comfortable with making this claim.




    Quote Originally Posted by SchrodingersSpy View Post
    Anyway I think its really important to explore, understand and accept the sexual side for us that have it, because it is commonly if not massively a part of the binge/purge cycle. Many of us if not most go through massively feelings of shame during these occurrences and I think as a community we can often heighten this shame.
    Again, we're willing to have such discussions but within a PG13 cap on content. Why a PG13 cap? It's a rule which we strongly feel has contributed to the quality of site content because it works against a lot of incentives to derail conversation.

    Yes, this is a balancing act. Yes, this is one area where it can be a bit clunky. Nonetheless, it's not meant to be completely exclusionary of discussion on this aspect of ABDL.

  3. #3

    Default

    It's something that annoys me as well. There's been so much in the ABDL history that was oversexed or creepy, I think it's natural to react against that when attempting to have a supportive and thoughtful environment. Very few of us here want a fap forum and this is one way to avoid it. However, I think it's a mistake to shunt sexual matters away in fear that someone, somewhere might be getting off to it. I think we could have frank and honest discussions about sexual subjects with the effort of good members and moderation. Unfortunately, I think that's not really in the cards right now and instead we get flack or overwrought concern over subjects that deserve attention. Oddly, I think we addressed these things with less self-consciousness back in the early days of the site or even back to TBDL.org.

  4. #4

    Default

    If indeed there is a "focus on the nonsexual" here--and I have not conducted a survey--it is probably due to the fact that, unlike so many of the other sites around, ADISC was not founded with a mission as a fetish site. It was created to be a place where people who happened to share a predilection for diapers or a need for them (or both) could come to learn more about their needs and desires, to chat with others who possessed those needs and desires, and to find nurturing, helping voices who have "been there" to support them when things are extremely difficult, as is so often the case (especially with religious types, as you note). ADISC is not a place for people who get off on wearing and using diapers to come and talk to each other about how exciting such proclivities are; there are plenty of fap sites for that. What Moo built here, that the ABDL world needed, was a safer place, a mature place, a site that recognizes that diapers may be what we all have in common but they are not the only thing that makes us who we are. In fact they are not, in most cases, among the top 20 or even 50 things. In other words: we have lives beyond diapers, and ADISC recognizes that fact and respects it and even celebrates it.

    That being said, of course there is a sexual side to diapers for many who use this site. And many people do discuss it. They just don't discuss it constantly. Threads about diapers as a fetish are spread around many forums, with some of the best appearing occasionally in the Mature Topics forum. These generally cover the territory you describe: the shame of the fetish. At other times they discuss the difference between those who find it to be a sexual thing and those who do not. Responders to these threads have to take special care: small flame wars have sprouted when people on either side of that divide have taken offense at (mostly imaginary) insults they perceive from the other side. Let's face it: no one really comprehends anyone else's sexual fetishes. And if to you a diaper is an innocent artifact that transports you back to childhood, it is hard to imagine it being an object of sexual connection to someone else. But hey: some people are into farts. (No kidding: look it up; it's called "eproctophilia.")

    Bottom line: ADISC is a support site. It is here to support anyone who has an issue about diapers, sexual or non-sexual. I sincerely hope that all DLs can find the discussion help that they need when things are at their worst. I've seen plenty of threads and blog posts that suggest to me that they can. But I think that the best support we give to this segment of the world is the constant reminder that they are all worthwhile, decent human beings.

  5. #5

    Default

    I'm somewhat on the fence about this. It does seem to me as though ADISC's members tend to pounce on sexual topics that stray beyond the most basic, matter-of-fact aspects. That said, I'd rather we erred on that side of things than on the side of being too permissive. My opinion stems from my early experiences with ABDL's presence on the internet -- oversexed forums like alt.sex.fetish.diapers, and websites plastered with crotch-shots and quasi-pedophilic stories. In other words, I think things could be better, but when I remember where they've come from and what alternatives exist, I don't feel so bad about the culture here on ADISC. It remains, by far, the most civilized ABDL forum around. In my opinion.

    I'll add that, on those occasions when I've seen fit to describe my own sexual take on diapers, I've never felt as though I was prevented from doing so. It's required me to think about my language, yes, but if I can't be bothered to do that, then my brain is too hormone-soaked to be posting anyway.

  6. #6

    Default

    I apologize in advance for my horrible grammar, I should be sleeping not posting



    Quote Originally Posted by Fruitkitty View Post
    I've seen this view taken of ADISC on other sites, and I think it's a bit unfair to us, though I can see where people might get that impression.
    Yes and no, it is a bit unfair I agree but then in the same context I think its unfair how some of these other sites get painted as dens of villainy by adisc :P.



    Again, we're willing to have such discussions but within a PG13 cap on content. Why a PG13 cap? It's a rule which we strongly feel has contributed to the quality of site content because it works against a lot of incentives to derail conversation.
    I agree but mostly, but as you may have noticed I didn't bring up the PG13 cap though to be honest its seems to be more of semi enforced guidelines than rules. What is actually PG13 is pretty hazy if you look at movies it has changed over time, anyway what i mean is the PG13 'rule' seems to be more about stopping this site from degrading, rather than heavily enforcing it to the letter and each circumstance is dealt with individually, correct me if im wrong.

    One thing I will say about the PG13 rules is that I think some users overly fear it, in another thread i read today a person was referring to his penis as a unit to avoid said rule. I have seem similar circumstances a number of times it is rather silly.

    I need to sleep and stop posting on the internet...

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
    Very few of us here want a fap forum and this is one way to avoid it. However, I think it's a mistake to shunt sexual matters away in fear that someone, somewhere might be getting off to it. I think we could have frank and honest discussions about sexual subjects with the effort of good members and moderation. Unfortunately, I think that's not really in the cards right now and instead we get flack or overwrought concern over subjects that deserve attention. Oddly, I think we addressed these things with less self-consciousness back in the early days of the site or even back to TBDL.org.
    Of course and I doubt adisc will ever be that way, but once again you prove me point by linking 'fap' sexual with negative contexts. Many other abdls sites aren't fap forums though they aren't as clean and great as adisc for support 'fapping' isn't their primary purpose, thats what tumblr is for :P(kidding, well mostly).

    I mostly agree and mirror what you think on this, I think.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by ICkaraokegirl View Post
    If indeed there is a "focus on the nonsexual" here--and I have not conducted a survey--it is probably due to the fact that, unlike so many of the other sites around, ADISC was not founded with a mission as a fetish site In other words: we have lives beyond diapers, and ADISC recognizes that fact and respects it and even celebrates it.
    Ok this was a fun read, I suspect you have have an odd/incorrect idea as to what this post was about, I almost feel this is in response to a different thread.
    Btw I may not be a staff member or have a metric shit-ton of posts, but I have been poking around the site posting or lurking in equal amounts, I am pretty aware of what this site is for and why I and others are here. Do you think I am unaware of anything you just said?

    Anyway I feel my point was missed and I am probably missing yours, im not suggesting adisc because a sexually explict site, but we discuss sexual stuff in a mature manner without attaching the negative contexts we do to it and also perhaps be more frank and willing to seek support over these issues instead of being terrified of facing backlash over possible rule violations and people negatively jumping on them.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by Cottontail View Post
    I'm somewhat on the fence about this. It does seem to me as though ADISC's members tend to pounce on sexual topics that stray beyond the most basic, matter-of-fact aspects.
    Thats sort of one of the issues I think we have to use PC levels of insane language and even then people jump on it, not that im saying we shouldn't discuss it using reasonable language, basically its about balance. Im sure a moderate/centrist path there is the way to go.



    It remains, by far, the most civilized ABDL forum around. In my opinion.
    I dont really disagree, but I think adisc is sort of a bubble a really sheltered one in terms of the abdl community. A lot of sites are as bad as they used to be some are and there are some new ones that are quite good.
    Regardless I am not saying adisc should change its rules or anything like that and fill itself with crotch shots.

    I am asking why we consider the sexual side of this so negatively? I feel your posts once again pulls this in a negative light.

    Also I love how much we consider porn to be a terrible thing in general.
    Last edited by JuliusSeizure; 01-Feb-2015 at 22:33. Reason: beep boop

  7. #7

    Default

    i am very happy that this site doesn't seem to focus on the sexual aspects of our shared interest :-D i don't enjoy much of that, and i don't hang out a lot with people for whom their sexual habits/exploits make up a majority of the conversation. i noticed that about adisc. sexual topics do come up once in a while, and the discussion usually shows thought.

    there are other sites that get a bit more graphic. that's great! i participate on some of those too. yay internet! :-)

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by whisko View Post
    i don't enjoy much of that, and i don't hang out a lot with people for whom their sexual habits/exploits make up a majority of the conversation.
    I don't really think it makes up the majority of nearly anyone, but it is a facet and one that can often not receive the correct support in my opinion which is what my post is about.
    Not turning adisc into a sex site or being graphic or posting nudes or anything like that. I was purely discussing it from the angle of adisc being a support community.
    Last edited by JuliusSeizure; 02-Feb-2015 at 15:29. Reason: Im more than a bird, im more than a plane. Im a BirdPlane

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by SchrodingersSpy View Post
    I dont really think it makes up the majority of nearly anyone, but it is a facet and one that can often not receive the correct support in my opinion which is what my post is about.
    Not turning adisc into a sex site or being graphic or posting nudes or anything like that. I was purely discussing it from the angle of adisc being a support community.
    This is an important bit right here just in case anyone missed the intent of this thread. We have a resource of smart people here and the support we provide for people with sexual questions and concerns is vastly underserved.

  10. #10

    Default

    I like this as you put it sheltered bubble adisc is in. Not because it is perfect, but because it is the only one I've found. There are many places to talk about the sexual side of things. It's nice having a site thats main focus is not. This is the only site I can go to that is rated as SFW(Safe For Work) by review sites.

    I'm not against the talk of the sexual side of things. I do however like the careful and mature approach to it here.

    In conclusion, I would say diapers are to a majority of adisc sexual. This isn't suppressed; just not flaunted in every post.

Similar Threads

  1. Try to focus on what matters
    By bigpa in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 20-Jun-2013, 16:40
  2. A Focus On Quality
    By Moo in forum News
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 29-Aug-2010, 09:34

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.